Diagnosed with terminal cancer - What next?

Fire_Fox

So sorry to read this. Keep the ISAs as they are for now or put the money into joint savings accounts, you might want to access the cash if you do purchase a house. As others have said double or triple check your wife is named in any work insurance/ death in service benefits or pension policies. Everything else can go in joint names and will easily transfer to your wife.

Honestly Macmillan can help with everything from wills to inheritance tax, also the solicitor you select for the will can help with probate and inheritance tax issues. Also see here http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/inheritancetax/ Your wife should write a will too just in case, to make things clearer for the children. It is Will Aid month soon, I always think giving to charity can make a little good in something unpleasant. http://www.willaid.org.uk/

CRANKY40

Speaking as a widow and based on my friend's experiences....yes put all the utility bills in your wife's name now. It is soul destroying talking to some numpty who wants your dead husband's permission to speak to you and refuses to believe you when you tell them that they can't.

Any savings should be put into a joint account for the time being as they can then belong to either party on the death of the other, prior to probate. Don't put them with Barclays (they sent me a lovely letter addressed to "Mr Deceased" to tell my late husband he owed a penny on his mortgage. Subsequent correspondence was also a big fail as they didn't bother to print off the apology letter or send the flowers that were by way of an apology. I'm not the only one that's had problems with them. Santander (formerly known as the Scabby Abbey) should also be given a very wide berth. One friend is still waiting for probate three years on. She can't complete the tax form as Santander won't tell her the total of her late husband's investments until she gets probate and she can't get probate because you have to have a total of the estate...which she can't get because Santander.....and so on.

After the death of my husband three years ago, I made a will and it cost me £96. If I think of anything else, I'll give you a shout. Your wife is welcome to talk to me as well if she wants. I am a young widow - I was 42 with a 4 year old son when my husband died. I'm also going to send you a pm with a website that she will need one day (as much as I hope that miracles happen and she doesn't). It may well stop her from going round the bend one day. Hugs to your family.

Mrs_Arcanum

Remember with any will to include chattels (personal valuables). Seems very odd but my mother was absolutely devastated when following my father's death she had to go round saying what belonged to who, especially as anything we had was ours as a family.

So sorry for you and your family with this devastating news.

RawaDawa

Thanks for all your advice.

Hopefully the Will should be straight forward, with everything left to my wife bar a few specific items that I want to go to my son (medals etc) and daughter (wedding ring) when they are older.

So to start tomorrow:
Speak to MacMillan,
Sort Will,
Joint Bank Account (can I just add my wife i.e. keep the same account number and sort code?),
Get her to open an cash ISA (and accept that we will loose the tax free status on the shares ISA when the time comes, though once the shares are in her name could she transfer them into an empty shares ISA?),
Check my wife is down as beneficiary on all policies,
Start thinking about funeral (I have some ideas on that front),
Letters/memory boxes for the kids
List all utilities and get them into my wife's name.
Check car insurance to make sure she can still drive.
Check tax rules and dig out all important documents.
I've also got to make an appointment with the local hospice as the referral letter has come through.
Try not to die just yet and enjoy time with wife and kids.

Well, in between work, that should keep me busy for a few days; especially as I need to do this when the kids arn't around.

Thanks again for everyone's time and kind thoughts.

CRANKY40

I'd forgotten about the car insurance. When you're widowed it goes up...something to do with the risk not being spread across more people. Lloyds TSB waived the increase for me when I had to take my husband's name off, but if your wife can add another named driver (if she has a dad or someone similar that she could use) then that brings the policy down again. I've just left mine as it is.

If you don't have one already, buy a video camera, and make some videos of you with the kids. Also, have a photo taken with each child wearing a specific item of clothing. This item of clothing then becomes theirs to keep. Don't wash it, they will like it to smell of you. The other thing we have is a bear from the Bear Factory. Ours was unintentional, we didn't know what was going to happen, but my son has a recording of his daddy saying "night night, god bless, daddy loves you" that plays when you squeeze the bears tummy.

Fire_Fox

Can I suggest your wife joins MSE forums and starts to read and post? Loads of moral support and giggles here if she wants that, but just an incredible amount of knowledge on financial matters across all the different forums. This might really help her since she doesn't seem to have been involved in the family finances recently, when I left my ex-husband and was struggling emotionally I found it difficult to even open official letters.

Don't forget to fins out what benefits you are entitled to, everything will help towards you buying that house. ISA board here
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=18

Tiddlywinks

I don't want to intrude too much but I see that you've mentioned that you are still working... how long do you think you will be able to continue? Is it necessary (for sanity, money?) or could you get sick leave leading to medical retirement straight away?

I know this sort of depends on the timeframe of your illness but I can't help thinking that you have enough on your plate without turning into work everyday as well.

I work with someone who has a terminal illness but her 'timeframe' has been estimated in a few years... she has chosen to work for the time being to give her a routine and to occupy her mind but she regularly gets moments of frustration when her colleagues' attitudes do annoy her - our worries are usually very petty in comparison and I'm sure she just wants to scream at us sometimes as we still have the normality that was taken away when she got her prognosis.

You know more than anyone that time is precious so... best wishes in your journey.

aeb_2

CRANKY40 wrote: »

I'd forgotten about the car insurance. When you're widowed it goes up...something to do with the risk not being spread across more people. Lloyds TSB waived the increase for me when I had to take my husband's name off, but if your wife can add another named driver (if she has a dad or someone similar that she could use) then that brings the policy down again. I've just left mine as it is.

First of all my sympathies for your news

Is this always the case? When my husband died I rang them as I wasn't sure which car to keep. They said I had 30 days to decide. After 30 days his policy was cancelled and a new one in just my name started. As it happened it was exactly half way through the year. I received 50% of everything back (policy, legal, protected no clainms, breakdown cover). Got £152 back. When they worked out the new one it was £228 so much cheaper than before. That was Churchill.

Also, it might be worth enquiring what the banks limit for when probate is needed. My husband had about 4 accounts. Nationwide did it there and then with no documentation needed (less than £1K) straight into my account. Nat West wanted a copy of the will then sent me a cheque in 5 days. But Santandar wanted probate as he was about £55 above their limit. I can't remember what this limit was but I think it was about £10,000. We had just moved house and this was the remains of his pension lump sum for 'removal expences'.
Different banks have different limits.
I did all the probate but it was something I could have done without for the sake of being just over the limit.

As has been said, you have time to plan. Make memories whilst you can.

BTW, I only had one experience of frustration about changing a name/ altering a policy / explaining / etc. Everyone else was very kind and went out of their way to be helpful. The most complicated was PayPal because they insisted on about 6 ID items being faxed - would not accept it scanned then emailed. There was no money in the account anyway but they insisted!

RawaDawa

I was given less than a year at my last appointment with the oncologist, though we will get a better idea in a few weeks when I get another scan to see if the latest round of treatment has worked.

I'm still working part time, mainly for my sanity and partly as I don't know what else to do. I don't feel that ill at the moment and need to do something. Also, stopping work feels like I've given in to the cancer and I don't think I'm ready for that just yet.

daska

RawaDawa wrote: »

Thanks for the replies.

I haven't spoken to MacMillan yet. I guess that would be a good place to start, closely followed by a Solicitor. Any advice on picking one, short of just using a well known search engine, and what's reasonable in terms of fees? My wife is defiantly my wife, not common law partner and all the bank accounts/credit cards/utilities are solely in my name, along with the various ISAs.

Currently we don't own a house but are looking to claim against the Terminal Illness clauses on my 2 life insurance policies. This will hopefully mean we can buy a house out right and leave enough that my wife won't have to worry about money straight away. Would she have any inheritance tax liability?

Thanks again for your help.

The inheritance tax threshold is currently £325K BUT gifts to spouses are exempt. http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/inheritancetax/pass-money-property/exempt-gifts.htm

Get as much as you can into joint names or her sole name, it's far simpler.

The only other thing I've spotted hasn't been mentioned is memberships. If there are any that you use as a family but are in your name it may be cheaper to upgrade them to joint memberships rather than for her to start new ones e.g. Do you have a life membership of the National trust etc.

And, I love the idea of clothing, memory box, teddy, video etc but think about leaving each of the children something they will be able to use for a lifetime, e.g. my uncle bought each of his boys a good watch, I would opt for NT or EH membership, my BIL plans to leave his girls diamond earrings. I think of my grandma every time I wander into a NT place free of charge.