Diagnosed with terminal cancer - What next?

dizsiebubba

RawaDawa wrote: »

P.S. on the funeral front, I'm holding out for a Pirate themed on (parrots optional) with an ice cream van )

I love this idea and I love your spirit about this... we lost a loved one to cancer recently and requested no black... bright colours. Quite a few people wore black anyway, but those who really knew her done as we asked!

Mojisola

danlojo wrote: »

So sorry to read your post. Life is a real sh*t

Use the services of your unit welfare and the Army Families Federation (if you are Army).

And if you ever need help in the future, don't forget SSAFA.

Mayflower10cat

I'm so sorry to read of your diagnosis and wish you all great strength in the months and years ahead.

Just to say how fantastic the MacMillan team are; I lost a very close friend to cancer back in March. When her Oncologist told her that she needed to get in touch with our local hospice as they'd be in charge of her care from then on, she was devastated, it seemed like 'The End' and nothing left to hope for. But when she met her dedicated Nurse, in her own home, it wasn't like that at all. It was a very positive experience and she felt more 'in tune' with this marvellous, empathetic woman than she had with any of the Specialists she'd seen. Her Nurse was also there to talk to her husband and her daughters with anything they needed to get off their chests, so to speak. And yes, they'll help with all other matters relating to end of life decisions in a caring, practical way. When she'd made all the financial plans and updated her will, written her funeral service and all her wishes, given away all sort of trinkets and keepsakes, as she said to me; 'now, I can start to live again...' I send you my very best thoughts and wishes for living fully and with purpose.

PennyForThem_2

StephenM wrote: »

A house in joint names shouldn't need probate to pass to the survivor. I've recently managed to settle all my late wife's financial affairs without bothering with probate, although I did need to sign indemnity forms with a couple of organizations.

Probate protects your executor - it gives them authority:

What is Probate?

The legal authority to administer the estate

A Grant of Probate is an order of the Court giving one or more people the legal authority to administer the estate of the deceased in order to distribute it correctly to the beneficiaries.

Who can apply for the Grant of Probate?

The people who have the right to apply for a Grant of Probate are the Personal Representatives (PRs) of the estate. PRs are either the Executors named in the Will or the next of kin following the Rules of Intestacy if there is no Will. There are different types of Grant depending on the circumstances and who is to deal with the estate.

The two main types of Grant of Representation are:

• The Grant of Probate, where there is a Will
• Letters of Administration, in situations where there is no Will

The people named in the Grant of Representation are legally responsible and ultimately liable for the administration of the estate of the deceased. The decision about who is named on the Grant of Representation is a very important one because it carries this responsibility.

PennyForThem_2

I don't think anyone has mentioned tax. Sorry but your committment to the tax return does not end when you die.

Your wife will need to notify the tax office of your death. They will helpfully send a tax return to complete from beginning of financial year to date of death - even if you are only a wage earner and have no other incomes.

However...... the tax office does have help situated at a tax office or I suppose at end of a phone. My tax office in Llanishen was marvelous and helped me fill in the form using their computer to get the detail and if they didn't have the information making sure i understood what I needed to do to get the information.

In this case I found the taxman was really helpful and sympathetic.

daska

PennyForThem wrote: »

Probate protects your executor - it gives them authority:

What is Probate?

The legal authority to administer the estate

A Grant of Probate is an order of the Court giving one or more people the legal authority to administer the estate of the deceased in order to distribute it correctly to the beneficiaries.

Who can apply for the Grant of Probate?

The people who have the right to apply for a Grant of Probate are the Personal Representatives (PRs) of the estate. PRs are either the Executors named in the Will or the next of kin following the Rules of Intestacy if there is no Will. There are different types of Grant depending on the circumstances and who is to deal with the estate.

The two main types of Grant of Representation are:

• The Grant of Probate, where there is a Will
• Letters of Administration, in situations where there is no Will

The people named in the Grant of Representation are legally responsible and ultimately liable for the administration of the estate of the deceased. The decision about who is named on the Grant of Representation is a very important one because it carries this responsibility.

You missed the relevant bit:

When a grant may not be needed
A grant of representation may not be needed where:

the person who died left less than £5,000
they owned everything jointly with someone else and everything passes automatically to the surviving joint owner

To establish whether the assets can be obtained without a grant, the executor or administrator would need to write to each institution informing them of the death and enclosing a photocopy of the death certificate (and will if there is one).

In practice this means that those who leave very small estates make it much simpler for their executors or administrators. But a small estate does not equate to not having had money, it could just mean they had a spouse and did some sound financial planning - if everything is in joint names then it doesn't go into the estate, no matter how rich they were. Property held as joint tenants and joint bank accounts all passes automatically because they are fully owned by both persons. (It's not the same with tenants in common as they own set percentages of the property.)

StephenM_2

Even the £5000 limit is flexible. It depends on the organization. They all have different policies about limits. My wife had about £11000 in her name with her bank. They were able to transfer it all over to me without probate as long as I signed an indemnity form and showed them the will which named me as sole executor and beneficiary.

Fire_Fox

Welcome to MSE MrsRawaDawa, so sorry that the reason is as it is.

RawaDawa

Thanks again for all your advice.

So far have spoken to SSAFA (who were very reasuring and put to bed some of the worries we had over the quarter and Service funerals) got the MacMillan booklets, started the claims process on the life insurance policy, arranged to see Bank on Friday for joint account, checjed all the insurance policies and sorted a holiday for the start of next year.

Still have Will to sort, but building myself up to that.

whitewing

Someone mentioned about recording. Do record you all chatting so you get the interactions. My grandparents used to love reminiscing. I really wish we had recorded them talking. My grandad had a broad accent with lovely local phrases that people rarely use any more.