How to end a friendship?

Stephb1986_2

Yorkie1 wrote: »

I don't understand your post; why should someone reporting fraud be in real bother?

A report is just that - something which the authorities decide whether to investigate. If there is insufficient evidence to take the matter forward (whether administratively or through prosecution), then it ends there.

If there is sufficient evidence then the relevant procedure takes its natural course.

In neither situation is the 'reporter' in trouble. And if there is indeed sufficient evidence to prosecute and convict the fraudster, then they've brought it on themselves and have nobody else to blame.

Did I say the OP would be in bother with the authorities I don't think I did?? I meant that if the person the OP is shopping finds out it's her that has done it she could get her windows bricked or something along them lines not nice things because that's what happens in the real world. I hope this has cleared up your confusion.

mrsrwallace

thanks for the replies

i have researched more into this and the way the law stands she is indeed doing NOTHING illegal. I KNOW she is living legally as a single mother and claiming all her benefits whilst her husband lives elsewhere. They do have a sexual relationship and to the outside world the story is that they are separated and heading for eventual divorce. This is to throw everyone off the scent of what they are actually doing which is living separately to allow her to claim benefits and to have the state (i.e. US!) pay for her large family while her husband can focus paying off their debts on his wages.

That is the truth and they are unfortunately NOT breaking the law. They are technically not living as a couple so it is VERY hard to prove they are having a relationship and if I was to report them I have to say I think it would be almost impossible for the authorities to actually catch them. It would most likely be a waste of my phone call and a waste of their time and resources.

As for the karma thing....well, I do believe in karma so if she is frauding then in my opinion she'll get her comeuppance in time whether or not I report her. I can honestly say I wouldn't feel any guilt whatsoever reporting her either, it is not me who is being dishonest. I know what it is like to have a LOT of debt and believe me their debt is very small in comparison, they are not in danger of losing their home the way I am yet I am not prepared to rip off the state to pay my debt.

As for a true friend...well, my thread title basically spells it out. I am obviously not her friend if I want to end the "friendship" and if she was MY friend then she wouldn't lie to me about what she is up to.

I am totally in agreement that the crux of my problem is the fact that I do envy her. A lot. I am jealous her life can carry on with no sacrifices, I am annoyed her children can have luxuries while mine can't get necessities, I am angry she feels the need to rub my nose in it constantly about her latest shopping expedition and the latest gadget she has bought as money is no object for her. It arrives in her account every week while she refuses to work (she told me she has no desire to work, it apparently "doesn't pay her" to do this) and yet I wait for my wages every month and have to somehow stretch them til the next payday. So yes my main problem with her is that she is getting it so easy and I am not. Simples!

So in the meantime I have distanced myself. I have taken onboard some advice from here and ignored her calls and texts and then acknowledged one with a curt "I'm too busy to meet up" and left it at that. I am meeting 2 of the group in a few weeks for dinner and Betsy is NOT invited. I will NOT be going to her house nor inviting her here. I also broached the subject with one of the group and she has the same feelings as me and said she had been cutting herself off from Betsy too as she feels that she has told Betsy personal things and all the while Betsy has been deceiving her.

minniemaus1970

mrswallace
be proud and happy with what you ve got, you worked hard for it, it's all yours and you deserve it. You have your families love and respect. it's worth a lot more than some 'friend' obtaining money by deception. Unfortunatly in todays society its better to be a single mum than proud, hard working or married. don't let things like that wind you up and get angry, holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to keel over. you're better than that. :beer:
it's best to avoid things that upset us (ie your "friend").
MM

sedment

To be honest, i wouldnt be wasting my time worrying about her. If she is defrauding the benefits system, then she will have to deal with that, if and when it comes out.
Move on, and gradually ease her out of your life. You dont have to justify yourself or indeed have someone in your home that you dont want.