How to end a friendship?

McKneff

She is allowed to have a relationship to be honest, it depends on the type of relationship that brings about the defraud bit.

If he is staying overnight and they have joint finances, then that is a different matter.

If I felt like you, I would shop them in a heartbeat. No messing.

missprice

mrsrwallace wrote: »

The point made about being good friends and that we should be able to discuss it is very valid. However, she is a very closed person in that any attempt I would make to get my point across would be shot down. If she doesn't want to talk about something she just won't no matter what I say or do about it. I have made previous attempts to let her know my suspicions but she has an answer for everything. It's like CID quizzing a suspect and you get the same rehearsed answers all the time. ).

so going by the above you could simply not invite her and then be very vague or simply not talk about why you did not invite her.
as for the CID thing, maybe she is fed up of you quizzing her and feels its nothing to do with you? hence the rehearsed answers

mrsrwallace

thanks for all the replies.

Yes I do agree with BitterandTwisted that I am perhaps jealous of Betsy. My annoyance with her does coincide with the time I believe she started lying about the relationship with her partner. I have to sit back and watch while her children get everything money can buy whereas my teenagers are sitting in a cold house each winter and living off the food parcels their grandparents send us.

I could do as she is doing and pretend I am a single mum and I would be able to claim significantly more than I earn and my OH could pretend to be a single man and get help with a rented house etc etc and we would bring in more money that way. Yet I can't bring myself to do that although I know Betsy is no way the first or last to pull a similar stunt.

Ok, obvious jealousy and annoyance aside, how do I go about "shopping her in" then!? She is declaring to anybody who listens that her OH left her for someone else (untrue - he just moved to another house) and I know he has stayed overnight with her and the kids. I do not dispute she can have a relationship but if that relationship is with her still legal husband then is she committing fraud? So basically what I am asking is if she is still having a sexual relationship with her husband and he stays overnight occasionally, is she still classed as a single mum simply because they live in separate addresses?? So she can claim benefits even though she is still having MARITAL relations with her husband? Surely that means they are a couple still???

mrsrwallace

oh and it goes without saying too that you are all so right about time being precious and too short to waste energy on people I don't much care for.

the other friends in the group are all very dear to me and I make the effort for them as I enjoy their company so yes, it is time i stopped being the person I am when I am around Betsy. I am ballsy at my work but when it comes to her I am just so pathetic!

mikey72

mrsrwallace wrote: »

....... Any suggestions??

Sleep with her husband?

Fire_Fox

Rehearse a few stock responses of you own, aren't you terribly busy these days?

By all means report her for benefit fraud, but you need more than a suspicion she is having occasional intercourse with her ex husband who lives elsewhere. They clearly run two households and you don't indicate they are having a full relationship. The powers-that-be see this as things like shopping, cooking and eating together regularly, keeping personal belongings like toothbrushes in one another's homes. It is an accumulation of evidence not just a bit of perfectly normal sex-with-the-ex.

Nicki

The rules about what constitutes living together for the purposes of benefit fraud are here

http://www.dwp.gov.uk/docs/dmgch11.pdf

If you think she meets the criteria report her. If you don't, but no longer enjoy her company, then end the relationship. If you decide she isn't defrauding on benefits and that changes how you feel about her, then all is well

[Deleted User]

You can report benefit fraud online :

https://secure.dwp.gov.uk/benefitfraud/

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Diol1/DoItOnline/DG_4017574

Via phone or mail also:

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/BenefitsTaxCreditsAndOtherSupport/BenefitFraud/DG_10014876

HTH

D9

marmitepotato

Report her for fraud/theft, if she is innocent she will have nothing to hide. Don't ask her to your house and don't go to her house. Move on with your life and be happy. Sounds to me like this'friendship is coming to a natural conclusion', so don't fret about it.

Sambucus_Nigra

Depending on how much you really dislike her, breaking the friendship now would mean that you can't witness her distraught mewlings at the next get together - when she is being interviewed under caution.

Of course, if you went to her house, and took dated photos of the men's stuff in the bathroom, and one extra toothbrush and submitted them; then the friendship might well still be useful to you.

Interesting scenario. As a friend you potentially have a portfolio that you could build up against her.