bullying dilema.

Fire_Fox

NewKittenHelp wrote: »

It doesn't sound selfish to me. Maybe if more people were willing to shame the family members of bullies and scumbags we wouldn't have such a victim-blaming culture?

If the bullies parents don't give a damn about their child's victim, then maybe they'll give a damn when their child's thuggery starts affecting dear old granddad?

Tit for tat is how some gangland rivalries, riots and wars begin! Should we all go around abusing the relatives of murderers, rapists, child molesters and the like? Perhaps if our boss is a bit of a bully we should pop into the Nursing Home and have a word with his granny?

NewKittenHelp

Fire_Fox wrote: »

Tit for tat is how some gangland rivalries, riots and wars begin! Should we all go around abusing the relatives of murderers, rapists, child molesters and the like? Perhaps if our boss is a bit of a bully we should pop into the Nursing Home and have a word with his granny?

If you can't distinguish between how adult family members have an influence over the behaviour of the children of that family, and other adults, then I really do worry.

Fire_Fox

NewKittenHelp wrote: »

If you can't distinguish between how adult family members have an influence over the behaviour of the children of that family, and other adults, then I really do worry.

According to you the great grandson is an "evil scumbag'" so it's not overly likely he will pay any heed to the great grandfather now is it? Since when was shame as synonym for influence?

Saint_Chris

After a sleepless night i decided that i would go and see his great grandad today, my reason because if the boot had been on the other foot, i would have wanted him to come to me, and not to be kept in the dark.
I didn't want him to hurt, i just want the hurt that my grandson is feeling now to stop.

He listened to me, and i told him what had happened last year at school, and told him what was happening now.

he told me he'd known about the bullying last year, not through his grandaughter, but through another family member, said to his shame his grandaughter isn't that bothered about the child, and that the new boyfriend is number 1 in her life, and that the child is left to run riot at home and in the street.

He thanked me for telling him, and asked me to keep him informed of what happens at the meeting this week at school.

He also told me that he will do all he can to try and talk to the child, and will tell his grandaughter that he knows what's going on, and that it can not continue.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Saint_Chris wrote: »

After a sleepless night i decided that i would go and see his great grandad today, my reason because if the boot had been on the other foot, i would have wanted him to come to me, and not to be kept in the dark.
I didn't want him to hurt, i just want the hurt that my grandson is feeling now to stop.

He listened to me, and i told him what had happened last year at school, and told him what was happening now.

he told me he'd known about the bullying last year, not through his grandaughter, but through another family member, said to his shame his grandaughter isn't that bothered about the child, and that the new boyfriend is number 1 in her life, and that the child is left to run riot at home and in the street.

He thanked me for telling him, and asked me to keep him informed of what happens at the meeting this week at school.

He also told me that he will do all he can to try and talk to the child, and will tell his grandaughter that he knows what's going on, and that it can not continue.

That sounds a far more adult way of doing things, and I think this is proven by the way he responded to you.


Aren't you glad you didn't act in the heat of the moment now?

Saint_Chris

That sounds a far more adult way of doing things, and I think this is proven
by the way he responded to you.


Aren't you glad you didn't act in the
heat of the moment now?

yeah, still stayed in tonight though............lol

meritaten

saint chris - I understand your feelings, but, just stop and put yourself in your friends place. you say they know nothing about all this - and they are nice people, how would you feel if a 'friend' came in and immediately verbally attacked your grandson? surely, you would defend him - even to the point of losing a good friend?
yet if you approached it as 'oh dear - there seems to be a problem in school between your grandson and mine - how do you think we could help resolve it? you may well find that you are both concerned about the situation. That is if you MUST speak to them about it. personally I wouldnt - but that is me and you feel differently about it.

oops - for some reason this thread was only showing one page - I am glad to see that you re-considered and are still friends.

Saint_Chris

My problem last night, was the fact i was going to have to go out tonight, and sit with him, and keep my mouth shut, and i was worried that after a few drinks i wouldn't be able to keep my emotions to myself, which is why i asked should i go or stay at home.

It's not his fault and i know that, but when your upset, and your on a night out, and a few vodkas later, emotion comes over you (it does me) i was worried about how i would have been able to handle it, and it would have been so wrong of me, to in drink, have blurted out, anything.

I'm so glad and happy that i did visit him today, because i do believe that he should know what's going on, it was hard and i choked up a few times, and i know he saw that, but it was fine.

I decided tonight to not go out with the group, as i don't know if he would mention it, as things might be playing on his mind, and i didn't want to get upset. I will go out next week as i'll be ok then.

thanks for the replies.

CH27

Did school get the situation sorted?

Saint_Chris

They are going to monitor the situation, and there is another meeting in 2 weeks time.

But it has come out yesterday, that the child in question, is also being monitored for being agressive towards a girl in the class above.

son in law has said that if anything happens in the next 2 weeks, he is going to get together with the girls parents, and see if they want to go into school together.

grandson said that the lad has not hit him or anything this week, but he is telling other children on the playground not to talk or play with him, because he smells.

suppose we will just have to wait and see what happens over the next couple of weeks.