delicate subject - abortion

poet123

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

We get it

There are those that:

1. Think nothing of abortion

2. Agree with Abortion and choice etc. but think it is a big thing.

3. Are completely against it.

All of us fall somewhere within these which we are perfectly entitled to do, so why are some going continually round in circles!

I guess that does sum it up!!:D

Shak1rak

likelyfran wrote: »

Am I alone in thinking that a lot of people should really just use contraception in the first place?

Some people do, yet still fall pregnant!

Fire_Fox

poet123 wrote: »

Is that not backwards thinking? Firstly, for me, it illustrates that they should have a foolproof method of contraception, belt and braces if necessary. And before anyone says there is no foolproof method I know that, but if you use more than one method together the chances of failure are negligible. In fact anyone who feels that strongly should seek a permanent method of contraception.

poet123 wrote: »

You asked at 18 which is very young and I can see why it may be refused, if you persisted and had evidence to show it would affect your mental health I suspect you would succeed. Neither you nor I know for sure whether that would be the case, so neither of us can say definitively. Later you had MH issues so from the POV of the NHS informed consent may have been an issue. So I wouldn't say you were a typical case from which we can draw concrete conclusions.

Did you pursue the private route?

I DID seek and I did persist: as already stated I first asked at 18, last asked in my thirties and several times in between. I doubt I enquired about private initially because, like most 18 year olds, I was on a low income. Like Welshwoofs that would have been the time in my life pregnancy would have been most disastrous - I was hugely immature, had been kicked out of my parents' home the year before and a student. I did ask about going private in my twenties and that was dismissed, can't recall much about the conversation but IIRC it revolved around ethics.

You are contradicting yourself, how can one demonstrate pregnancy would affect one's mental health without previously having been pregnant or having diagnosed mental health issues? What exactly are you trying to prove, that it is possible to get sterilised if you are mature, have the money to pay for the operation AND are willing to expend a lot of time and effort pushing for it? Quite possibly, again how does that help reduce the unplanned pregnancy rate and abortion rate in the under 24s? Would that have stopped Welshwoofs needing an abortion?

Your 'divide and conquer' approach to posts is disingenuous. You are making sweeping claims and refusing to accept any anecdotal evidence from anyone other than the person you are posting to at the time! How can one person refute such claims? You dismiss Humphrey10 for being warped, Welshwoofs for having her own reasons and me for either being too young (teens) or like one in four of us having diagnosed mental health issues (thirties). What about when I was in my twenties, in good health and married to a man who was supportive of my decision?

ETA http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC558215/
http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Female-sterilisation/Pages/Introduction.aspx (also see comments)

kitschkitty

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I'm usually disgusted by the pro-life lobby, but find myself being disgusted by the vehemently pro abortion lobby this time.

Pro abortion???? I don't think anyone is pro abortion, they are pro choice.

marywooyeah

Errata wrote: »

Sorry, don't believe a word of it. A doctor doesn't perform an invasive procedure without their medical and nursing colleagues knowing about it, which means they would all have to be in cahoots with a doctor performing a criminal act. Doesn't happen.

I don't care if you believe it or not that is what happened to me and I have recieved a formal apology from the hospital for it.

raven83

kitschkitty wrote: »

Pro abortion???? I don't think anyone is pro abortion, they are pro choice.

The way some people on this thread are coming across, it is as if they are pro abortion.

marywooyeah

peachyprice wrote: »

But you did go to the clinic/hospital of your own free will, yes? And you did get undressed and let them prep you for surgery of your own free will, yes?

Why would you have done that if you were so insistant that you wanted the baby, a baby that you had named?

I didn't go of my own free will, but as I have said in earlier posts about three times now I do accept that I bear some blame, and getting changed etc comes into that as I did change into the gown.

poet123 wrote: »

I suspect that Mary had already signed the consent forms and simply changed her mind at the last moment.

No. Given the amount I have already disclosed I find it insensitive that you would even consider that I "changed my mind". I was consistently adamant that I wanted to keep the baby and explained that it was my boyfriend who wanted an abortion. I explained I felt under pressure and that he had told me I had no other choice, the form was put in front of me and the Dr told me I needed to sign it. This formed part of the discussion at the meeting, and the chair said he felt that by being told I needed to sign the form that could exacerbate a feeling of helpness/force and the chair said he felt I should have been told "you should only sign this form if you want to have an abortion"

balletshoes wrote: »

Mary I know this has been gone over in previous threads, but at the point in the termination procedure where you were given the anaesthetic, it was already too late to stop the procedure, as you'd already been given the tablets to soften the neck of the womb.

Quite frankly, it seems to me that if any medical professional is to blame for this, its your GP. If you were vehement with him/her that you wanted to keep your baby when you discovered you were pregnant, why were you referred to a termination clinic in the first place?

Indeed - it hasn't been raised in this thread by anyone before you but you are correct and again that is something I have accepted as part of my blame.

The GP wasn't to blame as when I went for the initial appointment with her, which lasted about 10 minutes I said "I have to have an abortion" and she literally picked up the phone, arranged the appointment and told me when and where to go - we didn't discuss my pregnancy at all and I understand that by saying I have to have an abortion it was not necessarily clear that I don't want to have an abortion.

I hope it everything is a bit clearer to people that have asked questions directly to me. I understand that it is difficult to understand what happened, I wish it hadn't happened but it did and it is really insulting to have people say they don't believe me.

I would rather not have to keep going through it now as it's getting a bit much for me and I hope people could respect that.

POPPYOSCAR

marywooyeah wrote: »

I didn't go of my own free will, but as I have said in earlier posts about three times now I do accept that I bear some blame, and getting changed etc comes into that as I did change into the gown.



No. Given the amount I have already disclosed I find it insensitive that you would even consider that I "changed my mind". I was consistently adamant that I wanted to keep the baby and explained that it was my boyfriend who wanted an abortion. I explained I felt under pressure and that he had told me I had no other choice, the form was put in front of me and the Dr told me I needed to sign it. This formed part of the discussion at the meeting, and the chair said he felt that by being told I needed to sign the form that could exacerbate a feeling of helpness/force and the chair said he felt I should have been told "you should only sign this form if you want to have an abortion"



Indeed - it hasn't been raised in this thread by anyone before you but you are correct and again that is something I have accepted as part of my blame.

The GP wasn't to blame as when I went for the initial appointment with her, which lasted about 10 minutes I said "I have to have an abortion" and she literally picked up the phone, arranged the appointment and told me when and where to go - we didn't discuss my pregnancy at all and I understand that by saying I have to have an abortion it was not necessarily clear that I don't want to have an abortion.

I hope it everything is a bit clearer to people that have asked questions directly to me. I understand that it is difficult to understand what happened, I wish it hadn't happened but it did and it is really insulting to have people say they don't believe me.

I would rather not have to keep going through it now as it's getting a bit much for me and I hope people could respect that.

Yes I think it unfair for someone to say that they do not believe you. All posts have to be taken at face value on here or what is the point of it all.

Lotus-eater

kitschkitty wrote: »

Pro abortion???? I don't think anyone is pro abortion, they are pro choice.

Yeah you're right, I probably should have said "Anti children" or to be more exact, "anti pieces of repugnant parasitical flesh which live inside me"

Errata

I said I couldn't believe what was posted, because I simply don't believe that in the UK someone who is taken to a hospital against their 'free will', and makes clear to the admitting nurse, the doctor, the anaesthetist and all the theatre staff that they do not want to have an abortion performed is given one.
That's my opinion. Others may have formed a different opinion, which is what happens on a free for all internet forum.