Will you be calling MIL2B and FIL2B 'mum and dad'?

JenE_2

It's been good for me to read this thread, so thanks for starting it.

I'm a lurker, got married 2 years ago, and my MIL and FIL call me 'daughter' and sign my birthday cards Mum and Dad. This has really annoyed me as I'm really close to my own parents, and have never heard anyone do this before. So it's good to get a bit of perspective on it from you all rather than just thinking they're trying to usurp my own parents. But i still won't be calling them mum and dad, first names only from me!

BugglyB

JenE wrote: »

It's been good for me to read this thread, so thanks for starting it.

I'm a lurker, got married 2 years ago, and my MIL and FIL call me 'daughter' and sign my birthday cards Mum and Dad. This has really annoyed me as I'm really close to my own parents, and have never heard anyone do this before. So it's good to get a bit of perspective on it from you all rather than just thinking they're trying to usurp my own parents. But i still won't be calling them mum and dad, first names only from me!

I talked to my mum about this, she reckons it harks back to a time when you would never have called any older adult by their first names, it would be Mr and Mrs smith or mum and dad as you got married, never ever Bob and Jean or whatever. Also historically people would live with their in laws so would be more familiar with them.

So I dont think its anything to take offence at, probably they did it with their inlaws and its them trying to show you how much they feel you are a part of their family.

My mum just scoffed when I said 'do you feel it would try and usurp your place as my mom'. I don't think she needs that validation to be honest. Its pretty obvious who my mum is!

DubPrincess

Faith177 wrote: »

ATM my MIL2B is lucky i'm even bloody talking to her!:mad:

She will always be called by her first name (said through gritted teeth)

She will never be a mum to me as I don't think she know the meaning of the word!!!!

Sorry mini rant there.

Lets put it this way it is about as much as I can do to be civil to that woman :rotfl:

Wow you have completely written my post for me!!!!
Some serious psychic link there :rotfl:

Mrs_Arcanum

First names. We are adults after all.

Faith177

DubPrincess wrote: »

Wow you have completely written my post for me!!!!
Some serious psychic link there :rotfl:

I thought i was the only one *sniff* :T

mummybearx

I call my inlaws by their first name. I only call my FIL 'Da' for a joke, like I would say 'Alright Da...' and smile at him, he just smiles back.

Although he calls me 'Toots', which my DH says I should be very privileged about, I'm the only one in the whole family that has a nickname from him :rotfl:

Other than that, it's A... and J... for his parents, and he calls my dad by his first name. All is good in the world

Bennifred

We have been married for over thirty years, and right up until my MiL died last year, I couldn't bring myself to call her anything at all!:rotfl: because she always referred to herself as "Mum" and I only have one Mum. It seemed rude to call her by her first name without being invited to do so. (I'm from the generation who called elders "Mr" or "Mrs" or more familiarly "Auntie - " or "Uncle - " even if they weren't related)

Always called FiL by his first name, as that is how he referred to himself - no problem at all.

I always make a point of introducing myself by my first name when my offspring bring home a new partner so there isn't that embarrassment.

podperson

JenE wrote: »

I'm a lurker, got married 2 years ago, and my MIL and FIL call me 'daughter' and sign my birthday cards Mum and Dad. This has really annoyed me as I'm really close to my own parents, and have never heard anyone do this before. So it's good to get a bit of perspective on it from you all rather than just thinking they're trying to usurp my own parents. But i still won't be calling them mum and dad, first names only from me!

My in-laws are the same, write 'mum and dad' on cards etc even though I call them by their first names. I wouldn't take offence at it though. I just see as their way of trying to show me I'm included in the family. They both call each others parents 'mum and dad' so it's just what they're used to I think and I'm sure it would never occur to them think it was trying to usurp my parents. I'm usually just grateful I get on with them well, some people I know have nightmare in-laws!

Scotsbride

No from me I don't feel comfortable with that. I don't even feel comfortable with calling my OH gran and nan Gran and Nan although that's what they've asked me to.