Wedding Tips start here...

Spendless

Or you can send of for loads of freebies from this site such as fab con samples and attach a note that says. For more stuff like this and how to save a fortune visit www.moneysavingexpert.co.uk :rotfl:

VickyA_2

Spendless wrote:

Or you can send of for loads of freebies from this site such as fab con samples and attach a note that says. For more stuff like this and how to save a fortune visit www.moneysavingexpert.co.uk :rotfl:

Never thought about using my wedding as a PR exercise for MSE! Seeing as I talk about it most of the time.

jockettuk - I still haven't popped into Restore, so I might have to sneak in and get lots of colouring books for all the guests!

november

I've only just heard of 'favours' too and I'm 46, been married before (28 years ago :eek: ) and been to quite a few weddings. Buy everyone a present for coming It seems a bizarre idea to me.

I have never expected a gift from the bride and groom when attending weddings as being invited is gift enough. My daughter was a bridesmaid when small and she didn't get a 'favour' then either - the gift was dressing up as a bridesmaid and being able to keep the dress, tiara etc. (we still have it).

I'm sure its a new idea isn't it although I've heard people use words like 'etiquette' or 'tradition'?

Having given it some thought over the past couple of days since I've heard of the idea I've decided for my wedding I'm going back to not having heard of the idea Quite frankly I've enough to organise and have spend more than I meant to anyway

Rachie_B

nope deffo not a new idea (my mum has a collection of them going back years of all the weddings shes been to )

but its more of a an american thing i think ,much bigger over there,but the net "bonbonniere" originated in italy i believe

its not a "present " as such but more a little something to keep to remember the day or whatever

november

Rachie_B wrote:

but its more of a an american thing i think ,much bigger over there

Aha that explains it. All the weddings I have been to over the years have been in England.

its not a "present " as such but more a little something to keep to remember the day or whatever

I thought thats what I will be distributing the photos for after the event

badgermonkey

We're getting married in August. We're having about 75 guests for the day and more for the evening. The ceremony will be in the Orangery of a stately home nearby and the reception at a countryside hotel, with three-course meal and three/four free drinks for the day guests and buffet for the evening. We've got a white Daimler car and I'm having two bridesmaids. Total budget...£5000. Which I think is really good considering we're having such a nice day!

My dress, tiara, shoes and veil are all from eBay and cost me under £200 for the lot. The hotel are providing flowers for the room at half cost price on the condition we let them keep them to use for the bedrooms the next week (what am I going to do with them?). We're having the wedding on a Thursday as we're both teachers and it's our summer holiday anyway. None of our guests seem bothered about this as we live by the sea so they're all making a short break of it. The bridesmaid's dresses are from Debenhams. The hotel does a great food+drink package - it's simple stuff but our guests aren't the type to be impressed by fancy stuff, they'd rather have something they recognise!

I haven't included the honeymoon, which is another £3500 but this is the holiday we have been planning for five years, and we haven't had a proper holiday in that time.

We're not getting in debt. We planned the budget based on how much we could save in the timeframe and we're on target to stick to it...

Rachie_B

wow 5k sounds a bargain for what you are getting badger did you save a big % by getting married on a thursday ?

honey28

If you really didn't want to give favours you could also tell your guests that in lieu of a favour you have donated £x to charity? Maybe they will too

I had little candle holders for the ladies - you can often pick these up cheap in tesco/asda - packs of 3 - and buy cheap tea lights for inside them - looks good on the tables when they are all lit! For the men I got some gold crepe paper and some ribbon to match the bridesmaides and bought some wrapped chocs and put a few into each.

november

VickyA wrote:

I'm getting married on 29th July this year. I don't know what the budget is - my parents are controlling it all and paying for everything. They've saved up since I was very little for this day, but I feel incredibly guilty. I've tried to economise on things - eg finding pieces on ebay, doing my own table plan. I was going to make my own invitations, but my parents deemed them "not suitable" because they weren't "traditional".

OH's parents' had offered to pay some money towards the whole thing, but my parents have said thanks but no thanks! It was quite embarassing to be the one to tell them that their generous offer had been knocked back.

We definitely would not have been able to afford this sort of wedding by ourselves. Unfortunately, my dad is now of the opinion that if he's paying then he can invite who he likes to it. This is really upsetting me as most of the people I wouldn't have invited myself. I tried to put my point of view across to my dad the other day, but he didn't see why I was getting upset. I know it's very generous of him to pay, but it's just not my wedding any more!

Sorry, I know I should be grateful, but I'm so stressed and upset that it's no good! OH and I joked about going to Las Vegas - now it just seems like a very good idea!

Awwwww Vicky. Its your day I think I would elope Seriously though - it is your wedding and should feel like your wedding. Can't you have a word with your Dad? I know they probably want to do their best for you but if you don't get a say it won't be the type of day they would be hoping you would remember. You need to work out a compromise.

You don't have to feel guilty at all. I wouldn't want my daughter to feel like you do - stressed and upset about what is supposed to be one of the happiest days of her life. I'm sure you would feel grateful if you were getting more of a say in organising it. Besides - gratitude is for someone doing something for you that you want. You can't feel grateful if someone is making you do something you don't want even if they are paying for it.

Would it work if you showed him what you have posted on here? Your parents, you and your husband to be really need to have a good chat about it all a.s.a.p.


OK My Weddings
I've already said I'm 46 and this is my second time round.

Wedding no. 1 was a registry office do in about 1978. I don't know how much it cost neither did I organise it. His parents sorted it all out. Even the things I asked them not to do, like pick me up in a 'decked out' car were ignored and a decked out car duly turned up on the morning for me! The only good thing is the whole thing was such a farce it has turned into a humerous story for me in future years. He and I got divorced 2 years later!

The whole thing rather put me off weddings for a very very long time

I'm getting married again on October 27th. We are getting married in a country inn/hotel in the Orangery which is beautiful. We are having a lunch time wedding for family only (about 25 people). This will be followed by a wedding breakfast as they call it (or dinner as I call it ) for all as some will then be returning home. I have an evening 'do' with buffet later on for about 50.

Cost -
£238 for registrar
£450 for venue for day & eve
estimated £1,387 for food :eek: (this is where my budget blew)
£251 rings
approx £130 on clothes etc. so far although we still have to do my OH & my kids. I'm rather proud of the clothes budget as I have 2 dresses - one day and one evening (both ebay)

I think the whole thing is going to run to about £3K which is £1K over what I intended Thats the food!

I don't mind really as we are not having a honeymoon - would have to take the children anyway and a honeymoon with 2 teenagers is not exactly traditional I just wanted a great day which involves good food and a good party

I've saved money on a photographer as I have a professional photographer friend who is doing the honours for nothing. She is also knows how to DJ and has all the equipment so we are putting together a music compilation rather than hiring a DJ who would probably irritate me anyway.

Also saved money on invites as the OH is making them. Oh and on a car as I'm driving myself. We're staying there all day and all night so can't see point in hiring a car especially as I don't drink.

eta forgot to say - We're not getting into debt either. Its being done on credit card and paid off. Both sets of parents contributed, bless them, instead of presents. I certainly didn't expect anything and was most touched.

VickyA_2

Thanks november!

OH is going along the lines of he'll just turn up on the day. He's had a say in a few things.......... like who he'll marry!

My mum appreciates my frustrations and has also talked to my dad. He's not listening to her either - and they're married to each other! He had thought that he would send my brother (grrrrrr, another story!) on a booze cruise to get the wine. No way, OH wants to go with me and NOT let my little bro (25 year old!) go anywhere near the wine until our wedding day.