Jealous of wealthy ex?

Dotty1

Does anyone have a wealthy ex husband and how do they deal with the jealousy? Or aren't you jealous at all?

DUTR

Dotty1 wrote: »

Does anyone have a wealthy ex husband and how do they deal with the jealousy? Or aren't you jealous at all?

Why be jealous, or do you mean envious?
You can be jealous of his new partner (emotion) but envious of his fortune.

meer53

Dotty1 wrote: »

Does anyone have a wealthy ex husband and how do they deal with the jealousy? Or aren't you jealous at all?

My ex is wealthy. He's an ex, why would i be jealous ?

Jealousy is an emotion i refuse to allow into my life, whats the point ? There are millions of people who are wealthy, i'm not jealous of them, my ex is just one of them now.

I now live a very different life to the one i had whilst married. I've never been happier.

ItchyFeet

Hi Dottty,

If you're feeling like this it sounds like you aren't completely happy with your life and are comparing yours with his. I don't know how long he's been 'ex' for, but it sounds like you have some unresolved issues - anger or resentment?

The only thing i can suggest is do your best to ignore him and concentrate on your own life. Be grateful for the positive things you have, or if you can't see anything to be grateful for, do something about it. It's time to move on.

Said with love! x

Fire_Fox

Not really: my ex has a substantial income, is on the autistic spectrum, infertile and a his new wife left him after only a few weeks! :eek:

Dotty1

I have virtually everything except money (I have enough to live). I have a lovely husband (great stepdad), who I adore, lovely teenager (ex is father) and family. I have a professional job where I make a difference to lots of people. I have my health, fun and laughter in my life and friends who are the best. I live in a nice area within a nice community. My life and the people around me are a million times better than before. My daughter is very happy and rounded.

Somehow my ex has become rich (and I do mean rich, as though he's won the lottery) - he remarried, perhaps his wife inherited, or he won it, or he earned it. I have no idea. Me and my husband are trying, slowly but successfully to clear our debt and the difference my daughter sees between the two environments is massive. We are renting a small house, he has acres. My hubbie cycles to work because of petrol costs, he has, well, only what I can describe as a space machine.

I'm not trying to justify how I feel. I know it's wrong. It's negative and stops me getting on with my life. But I can't get rid of these feelings in order to concentrate on my own life. I can't just walk away because of our daughter (although now she sees him rarely as he's moved away).

How I wish I could just switch it off. It's a nightmare xx

Fire_Fox

Dotty1 wrote: »

I have virtually everything except money (I have enough to live). I have a lovely husband (great stepdad), who I adore, lovely teenager (ex is father) and family. I have a professional job where I make a difference to lots of people. I have my health, fun and laughter in my life and friends who are the best. I live in a nice area within a nice community. My life and the people around me are a million times better than before. My daughter is very happy and rounded.

Somehow my ex has become rich (and I do mean rich, as though he's won the lottery) - he remarried, perhaps his wife inherited, or he won it, or he earned it. I have no idea. Me and my husband are trying, slowly but successfully to clear our debt and the difference my daughter sees between the two environments is massive. We are renting a small house, he has acres. My hubbie cycles to work because of petrol costs, he has, well, only what I can describe as a space machine.

I'm not trying to justify how I feel. I know it's wrong. It's negative and stops me getting on with my life. But I can't get rid of these feelings in order to concentrate on my own life. I can't just walk away because of our daughter (although now she sees him rarely as he's moved away).

How I wish I could just switch it off. It's a nightmare xx

Have you had the child support reassessed? Have you considered speaking to your GP about how you are feeling, perhaps getting counselling?

Dotty1

Fire_Fox wrote: »

Have you had the child support reassessed? Have you considered speaking to your GP about how you are feeling, perhaps getting counselling?

He pays a fair maintenance, always has done. Don't really want to go the counselling route - I already have those skills they're just not working at the moment!! I need to minimise the thoughts, CBT etc.

sedment

Dotty, feel for you!! He may have money, but it sounds like you actually have the better life! He maybe has disposable income at this point in time, but you have a fab family and daughter which are priceless. He is obviously a ex for a reason and its truly his loss he doesnt see his daughter. Keep on doing what you are doing x x x x

Dotty1

sedment wrote: »

Dotty, feel for you!! He may have money, but it sounds like you actually have the better life! He maybe has disposable income at this point in time, but you have a fab family and daughter which are priceless. He is obviously a ex for a reason and its truly his loss he doesnt see his daughter. Keep on doing what you are doing x x x x

Thank you. I know I have a better life. I wouldn't swap my life for his on any day of the week. And some angel's been looking after me because I know I have all this good stuff around me. I figured perhaps I am worried my daughter will prefer and choose their 'lifestyle' - but it's not really clear in my head and she prefers a good laugh and a packet of sweets to a week in paradise (well, nearly). Forgot to say he's had another 4 children since.

meer53

As your daughter gets older, she will make her own decision about her feelings for both you and your ex. All you can do is to be there for her, this is what she will remember.

If your daughter senses your resentment towards her Dad, it may affect your relationship with her. It may not, but why risk it ?

I have to explain to my daughter why i can't buy her things, she's 12, she fully understands the situation, she doesn't like it sometimes but there's not a lot i can do about it !

You appreciate that it's not about money, it's about how you're handling it, you already say that you have a better life, but i don't think you really believe that at the moment.

Whatever your daughter "chooses" you'll still be her Mum, she won't love you any less.