I have a friend ............

poet123

ccarpet wrote: »

As it would an Adult.

No, anyone over 18 can make their own decision which has to be respected. Parents cannot override the wishes of an adult to refuse treatment.

Torry_Quine

raven83 wrote: »

I love the way all the people on here that say that the girls privacy should be respected, yet if those same people were in the same position and found out that their daughter and sister had kept such a secret, would be on here having a rant!!!

It is a grey area and an area where in my IMO were every case is different, and I think the aunty will need to make the decision whether to tell the mum or to keep it quiet.

Here we are trying to be objective and look at the whole picture. When dealing with people you know and love then objectivity goes out the window. That's why we can say completely different things whether the situation is personal or not.

We don't yet know how the aunt is related to the girl's mother they may not be sisters. I agree that only the aunt knows what to do.

poet123

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Here we are trying to be objective and look at the whole picture. When dealing with people you know and love then objectivity goes out the window. That's why we can say completely different things whether the situation is personal or not.

We don't yet know how the aunt is related to the girl's mother they may not be sisters. I agree that only the aunt knows what to do.

Imagine the family rift if it was the dad's sister.....Whatever the relationship of the adults I cannot imagine it remaining intact if the aunt chooses not to tell the mother and then later it comes out, as these things have a habit of doing. Don't forget the OP's daughter knows, the OP knows, this is not really such a secret even now.

Torry_Quine

poet123 wrote: »

Imagine the family rift if it was the dad's sister.....Whatever the relationship of the adults I cannot imagine it remaining intact if the aunt chooses not to tell the mother and then later it comes out, as these things have a habit of doing. Don't forget the OP's daughter knows, the OP knows, this is not really such a secret even now.

Very good points. Hopefully as you say the girl's parents will be told and will support her whatever path she takes.

poet123

ccarpet wrote: »

No even Adults may not be allowed to consent and have their wishes over ruled by family. If someone is able to consent at any age then their wishes should be respected by the professionals and family.

That is not correct.


Box 6. Summary of competence by age*

Aged 18+
Assumed to be competent, that is have the capacity to consent to or refuse treatment unless evidence to contrary. Capacity assessed as per MCA 2005.

Face1992

ccarpet wrote: »

Why do you think that under 16s are not competent to decide their medical treatment?

By law they are allowed to consent and have their privacy valued, do keep up.

This is getting boring obviously you have no personal experience.

Anytime any of mine have had operations under 16, or teeth extracted, us PARENTS have had to give consent for the medical procedure (and I'm not talking 8 or 9 year olds, I'm talking 13/14).

If kids can go off and have abortions at the age of 13 and not ever tell their parents, it's beyond stupid. Fair enough if each case is looked at individually, but a blanket case of saying they can just go ahead and do it is wrong.

poet123

My fourteen year old son was sent a letter from our GP asking him to go and have the MMR. As they knew I objected to this vaccination I was livid that they would do this. I made a formal complaint and they apologised and said it was an error, and confirmed that he would have needed my consent for the vaccination. Consent is always asked for from parents for medical procedures.

GlasweJen

I consented to procedures my mum was against when I was under 16 nothing she could do about it because the doctors agreed that I knew the possible outcomes. At 26 mum still tries to get her own way when it comes to my medical stuff but once a child can show they understand what the procedure entails, the risks and the various possible outcomes parents become defunct.

poet123

GlasweJen wrote: »

I consented to procedures my mum was against when I was under 16 nothing she could do about it because the doctors agreed that I knew the possible outcomes. At 26 mum still tries to get her own way when it comes to my medical stuff but once a child can show they understand what the procedure entails, the risks and the various possible outcomes parents become defunct.

Only in terms of consent issues, not refusal of treatment issues.

heretolearn_2

"My fourteen year old son was sent a letter from our GP asking him to go and have the MMR. As they knew I objected to this vaccination I was livid that they would do this. I made a formal complaint and they apologised and said it was an error, and confirmed that he would have needed my consent for the vaccination. Consent is always asked for from parents for medical procedures."

Interesting..but actually, if a parent is refusing consent for any medical procedure, such as vaccination, an older child (subject to the same test for competence and understanding of the issues) in combination with a doctor, can give their own consent against their parents wishes. If your son wants to get vaccinated, he can. But I agree it was wrong for him to contacted directly about this.

It's the same principle as parents refusing treatment for religious etc reasons. If it's something to benefit the child (and whatever your view, the accepted medical position is that vaccination is a benefit), then doctors/childrens wishes can over-ride the parents.