Sorry but i gotta rant

melanzana

daska wrote: »

Why?

Genuine question, why would you go to visit someone who you're not close to if they've completely lost all grip on reality? To justify the possibility of inheriting something from them? So that other people don't sneer at you because you haven't 'done the right thing'? If you weren't close enough to visit before then surely that's got to be one of the most self-serving acts possible.

(But then I guess as I wasn't close to my mum due to her appalling behaviour yes, I do view her as a cash 'cow' LOL)

I am not commenting on your relationship with your mum, but omg, those people who are found by the Heir Hunters must feel so guilty when they inherit a fortune from someone they have either never seen or known.

It happens, often.

Visiting someone just for the sake of it, or for the optics is ridiculous imv. If you didn't before, why now?

If you will inherit because someone died without making a will, well that's that. If you inherit from someone who DID make a will, but you are not close, how will you know until they pass?

Just don't get this "you should visit" stuff. Why?

daska

I'm glad it's not just me

(There's probably more than enough in back posts for people to judge my mum LOL)

Redouble

Any wrote: »

Huh? I have the feeling it was completely informal chat between the sister and that man. It's purely speculation there even is inheritancefor you!
A) she is not dead
she might not even know you are alive
C) she might have written a will (where you are not figuring, giving you haven't seen her for 30 years)
D) even if it was, no one can have a say on your behalf
E) even if there is a will with you in it, see D

This whole thing complete nonsense

And by the way what did you say to your sister? Anything? Who the hell do you think you are, puting words into my mouth?

I'm confused...

meritaten

you misunderstand - It is one thing to inherit from a relative you have lost touch with after they die - its entirely another to be told you have a relative you have lost touch with who is alive - and then you post about 'Your Inheritance'. and not to express any concern about said relative, apart from being worried you may have been 'dis -inherited' by a sibling.

If I had lost touch with an aunt - I would be wanting to go see her. not because of any inheritance (she could leave it all to the local cats home) but because she is 'family'. and that means a lot more than money.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Ummm...shouldn't you be stressing about some unfortunate confused elderly lady dumped in a home with nobody visiting her and not that you might not be getting a load of money off her?

Outer_Limits

daska wrote: »

Why?

Genuine question, why would you go to visit someone who you're not close to if they've completely lost all grip on reality? To justify the possibility of inheriting something from them? So that other people don't sneer at you because you haven't 'done the right thing'? If you weren't close enough to visit before then surely that's got to be one of the most self-serving acts possible.

(But then I guess as I wasn't close to my mum due to her appalling behaviour yes, I do view her as a cash 'cow' LOL)

To make sure the home are treating her well, primarily. (Sorry it's not clear if someone is doing this.)

Even with the better homes it makes a difference if residents have visitors - particularly if they have dementia and may be unable to complain.

NewKittenHelp

Muscle750 wrote: »

In our house we struggle every month as i know many others do we have a nice house and have four wonderfull children now grown up, we have no money for holidays we have no money spare whatsoever we both have jobs fortunately althou mine is looking unsafer by the day ive been there 24 years
A close family member whose O/H is on a huge salary and has been for the last twenty plus years and is in the public limelight to a point are constantly on about their properties abroad the large house in one of the most affluent areas in the uk etc.
Ive recently discovered that our mothers sister whom we havent seen for years and i mean years like 30 or so, her husband died 15 years ago and my sister has recently been contacted by one of his relations saying that our mothers sister is in a home in the middle of nowhere in the highlands and is now 87 and has completely lost it mentally and that myself and my sister are now basically the next of kin when anything happens to her her estate is estimated at around £70k. My sister then turned round and said that she told them that we werent interested and that as this relation of her hiusband had been sorting things out they should have any inheritence etc
Now dont get me wrong im no gold digger but im just fuming that i didnt even know about this until after it had happened.
Our daughter got married 18 months ago and it was a real struggle financially for all concerned and we are still suffering if thats the right word their son is getting married next April and already im been told of how huge the wedding and the venue etc will be
Im just tired of struggling and believe me we are. It was that bad a few weeks ago i couldnt buy my wife a small birthday present i went for a walk the night before nearly in tears, eat me if you want tell me to gtf up but thats how i feel.

I think you need to get a grip on your obvious overspending rather than greedily waiting for an elderly, suffering lady to die so you can get your greasy mitts on her money!

Your jealousy of your sister is just sad. You shouldn't be punishing her for your own inadequacies. Go and post your circumstances on the debt board if you're serious about sorting your financial problems without clawing over an old lady's bank accounts.

ailuro2

See if you can find any pics of her and your Mum and send them on to your relations via email or even fb. This will cost you nothing, but might give an old lady a nice visit with her family.

As for being skint, keep a note of everything you spend your money on and see where you can trim it back a little on a regular basis - just to make sure you're up to date with your busget.

VfM4meplse

OP, if you've got a nice home you have more than the basics in life and being in employment there's no reason why you can't afford a few small luxuries now and then. You reap what you sow, and I'm sure your gave your daughter the best you could - isn't the memory worth more than the money?

Muscle750 wrote: »

A close family member whose O/H is on a huge salary and has been for the last twenty plus years and is in the public limelight to a point are constantly on about their properties abroad the large house in one of the most affluent areas in the uk etc.

This sounds like sour grapes to me, no more. Why mention it? As others have stated, I find it very distasteful that you are rubbing your hands in anticipation (or rather wringing them in anticipation of a loss) of a potential inheritance, from someone you appear to have no emotional relationship with.

If you want more money for luxuries, cut back in other areas or earn more. There is no shortage of inventive methods on this site.

Muscle750

Thank you for all the comments both from my point of view and the ones that arent they are all took on board