should i feel threatened by facebook?

jayII

Gordon_Hose wrote: »

You sound like a jealous nightmare tbh!

If a female was here telling her story of a jealous partner who had to have control of her Facebook and told her who she could and couldn't be friends with, he'd be labelled a controlling bully and e-lynched.

There is no difference with this situation.

TBH, I think he sounds like the nightmare. Three marriages in his mid 30s (the most recent a rebound relationship), relationships with his children broken down, using weed to excess, total disregard for his current partner's feelings...

It sounds like he agreed not to contact the ex on FB. There's nothing wrong with regretting that and telling his wife that he had changed his mind before he added the ex again. Deceit is disrespectful and unnecessary in this situation.

I think the OP would do well to consider her options before she gets in deeper or has a couple of children by this man.

Gordon_Hose

jayII wrote: »

TBH, I think he sounds like the nightmare. Three marriages in his mid 30s (the most recent a rebound relationship), relationships with his children broken down, using weed to excess, total disregard for his current partner's feelings...

It sounds like he agreed not to contact the ex on FB. There's nothing wrong with regretting that and telling his wife that he had changed his mind before he added the ex again. Deceit is disrespectful and unnecessary in this situation.

I think the OP would do well to consider her options before she gets in deeper or has a couple of children by this man.

Oh well that OK then. That give her the right to control the portions of his life she has issues with...

She's got a choice you know? TBH it sounds as if they are as bad as each other, but it seems to me that because it's a woman doing the controlling, it is OK.

If it was the other way around, and he was the one controlling her Facebook use, I suspect you'd be taking a very different standpoint.

jayII

Gordon_Hose wrote: »

Oh well that OK then. That give her the right to control the portions of his life she has issues with...

She's got a choice you know? TBH it sounds as if they are as bad as each other, but it seems to me that because it's a woman doing the controlling, it is OK.

If it was the other way around, and he was the one controlling her Facebook use, I suspect you'd be taking a very different standpoint.

You suspect wrong, male/female makes no difference to me.

As far as I can read, she is upset and complaining, but not actually managing to control him or stop him from doing anything he wants on FB. He may have agreed not to do certain things, but an agreement is different from being bullied/abused into something, plus he has done at least some of those things anyway, regardless of what he said.

If she was saying she was bullying and controlling him, then I'd say she's wrong. There is nothing wrong with complaining to your partner. They both have a choice in this situation.

Gordon_Hose

She's got full access to his Facebook... to me that is just plain weird. If my OH started demanding access to my Facebook and telling me who I can and can't be friends with, I'd be politely showing her the door.

He's added his ex, as she has access to his FB he can't hide that he is friends with her.

If she doesn't trust him, then she needs to take a long hard look at their relationship. I know I couldn't be in a relationship with no trust from either partner.

This goes deeper than Facebook.

jayII

Yeah, but they're adults, no abuse appears to be happening and they don't appear to be breaking any laws.

Plenty of people stay in 'insecure' relationships and seem to have control over their partners online accounts. Ultimately that is their choice. Horses for courses and all that.