should i feel threatened by facebook?

CH27

Why don't you trust him & why the need to confront instead of asking him?

jizzler

Fire_Fox wrote: »

Why marry a man with two ex wives and two children if you are going to feel threatened and aggrieved about him being in contact with the mothers? Facebook is for kids, it's not something grown adults should be 'arguing' and 'confronting' one another about! Maybe get some counselling for your trust/ jealousy/ possessiveness issues. 'Sort of' being in contact with one child and not in contact at all with the other is really sad, if you could get over your issues you might be able to help build bridges instead of creating obstacles.

Is there something more going on here, did he leave wife one for wife two and/ or leave wife two for you?

very well put also there is something seriously wrong if a man is on his 3rd wife at such a young age :eek:

1940sGal

Sounds like you'd make the perfect Jeremy Kyle guest

bargainsneeded

Thankyou everyone for your honest replies i am very sorry that his daughter wants nothing to do with him and have encouraged him over the years to send cards etc etc, what i meant was daughter has a facebook account of her own and if she doesnt want ot befriend him still then i just felt befriending the mother was ott, he is able to access all daughters profile through his sister mother etc. I should say when i first met hubby this wife had left him for her first love (she with him now) and for years after even when we were married he would say in the heat of an argument or at first wen we met that she was the love of his life and nobody would ever come close, so yes i feel a bit sad that he then befriended her. yes there are trust issues on my part but i must stress not over a woman or affair or anything more over being let down time and time again and spending all our money on things he shouldnt have. yes maybe this is a personal issue and only i can get over my own insecurities but i do appreciate your comments it somehow lets me see all sides ifyswim? thankyou

globetraveller

oh what a sad post:(

Fire_Fox

bargainsneeded wrote: »

Thankyou everyone for your honest replies i am very sorry that his daughter wants nothing to do with him and have encouraged him over the years to send cards etc etc, what i meant was daughter has a facebook account of her own and if she doesnt want ot befriend him still then i just felt befriending the mother was ott, he is able to access all daughters profile through his sister mother etc. I should say when i first met hubby this wife had left him for her first love (she with him now) and for years after even when we were married he would say in the heat of an argument or at first wen we met that she was the love of his life and nobody would ever come close, so yes i feel a bit sad that he then befriended her. yes there are trust issues on my part but i must stress not over a woman or affair or anything more over being let down time and time again and spending all our money on things he shouldnt have. yes maybe this is a personal issue and only i can get over my own insecurities but i do appreciate your comments it somehow lets me see all sides ifyswim? thankyou

So this is not about Facebook it is about a dysfunctional relationship. Is this why he is on his third wife at only 37? IMO tell him you want to go to relationship counselling about letting you down and overspending, if he refuses you know this is not a marriage that is going the distance. And please get a life yourself so your happiness and self confidence don't revolve around your dysfunctional relationship.

marisco_2

You have full access to his FB account and so can see what is going on. He sent a 'friend' request to his ex wife which was accepted. You didn't find messages going back and forth between them or dodgy photos etc.

Someone who has had previous relationships and children from those, will have some level of contact with the ex partners. When they parted they decided not to be a couple any more but they will always be parents to their child. I dont know, or need to know, why your husband has lost contact with his daughter. This is something that he is clearly not happy about and longs to know how she is and what she is up to. Okay so he might access some of this from other family members but maybe the daughter shares more with her mum.

I think it is terribly sad to be honest that this is the only contact he seems to have with his child. Watching her life from a very subtle distance. Maybe for the sake of his daughter he is trying to build bridges and make a reconciliation with her possible at some future point.

Own_My_Own

What was the old problem with FB about. Have you got over that or is this an underlying problem ?

bargainsneeded

Own_My_Own wrote: »

What was the old problem with FB about. Have you got over that or is this an underlying problem ?

my hubby used to smoke canabis and over the years it got worse where i couldnt leave my purse out or have a holiday savings jar, he treated me terribly and sat up all night befriending everybody whilst getting drunk and stoned, i got strong threw him out he cleaned up his act and now there is no weed and no facebook etc.

Errata

Sounds like you don't trust him and only you will know the reason for that so only you can decide what to do about it.
FWIW I certainly wouldn't trust a man who had rwo children by two previous wives and didn't have a meaningful relationship with them, and had already blotted his copybook with me and made an agreement with me he couldn't be bothered to stick to.