aqm i being stupid over contact?

missscousemouse_2

also what i was trying to say was that he says weekends are his time with the kids so wont let me see them and says they can see their friends in my time. but hes very quick to tell me has booked things for the little time i have without even asking if its ok.

Mojisola

missscousemouse wrote: »

also what i was trying to say was that he says weekends are his time with the kids so wont let me see them and says they can see their friends in my time. but hes very quick to tell me has booked things for the little time i have without even asking if its ok.

You've got to stop jumping when he says jump!

Why are you letting him control you and your time with your children?

missscousemouse_2

he was quite controlling and i think i was never able to break from that, im worried that because ive let him and his wife dictate the contact so long if i tried to get them every other weekend the court would say no. ive been dreading xmas as last yr i hardly saw them and now my ex has a new baby it will happen again

NewKittenHelp

What's changed? Why were you happy for him to have them every weekend for five years? I should say that I'd do everything I could to block my children being forced into a religion.

missscousemouse_2

sorry you misunderstand im not saying i want to stop contact to take them to church, they go to guides/brownies so have church parade every month but generally cant go with friends as they have to stay with their dad and they wont take them. im not religious at all but my eldest goes to a church school as its a really good school which her dad agreed to as well so she had to go. he insisted they got christened so they got into school.
im not trying to stop any contact ive said id like them even 1 weekend a month or we have a day of weekend each, i would be happy having the 10am on sunday morn so we have a full day to go out and do a fun activity as its impossible after school i cant drive so even harder to get out on such a short time limit after school clubs and homework. we just feel we dont get any quality time together. the girls do say they wish they didnt have to go every weeknd and they want to have friends over for slumber partwhich they cant do at their dads. the girls have woken up at their dads mothers day so have given presents to their stepmum first which i think is hurtful. i had to beg for my daughter to have a slumber party for her bday as it fell midweek so had to be arranged for weeknd so kids could come but it causes murder

RAS

How old are your daughters?

missscousemouse_2

and i wasnt happy for it to be every weekend, he didnt have them the first yr he left, then when we tried to start they didnt want to go overnight its only been everyweekend last yr or 2 and he causes a lot of trouble when he doesnt get what he wants so i always went along with it

missscousemouse_2

they are 11 and 8

Mojisola

How strongly do you want it said? He is being unreasonable in wanting to have the children every weekend, in bringing them back at varying times on the Sunday to suit himself, in taking them out for family occasions during the week.

He is controlling you. This will continue if you let it.

I think you need help to change this situation - a strong-minded solicitor and a support group - https://www.womensaid.org.uk/

missscousemouse_2

i know he is suiting himself but i dont want our girls caught in the middle as he wouldnt think twice about using them. they love thier dad but they are scared of him too.