Your opinions on generational attitudes?

mumps

j.e.j. wrote: »

Speaking as a 40-year-old I think I'd be a bit embarrassed if someone got up and offered me their seat. I'm not that old and frail, yet! :rotfl:

And 20 years on I still feel like that.

1940sGal

I'm 29 and I've always been taught to give my seat up to any elderly person, be it on public transport or in the house. Even if i was a guest in someone's home, I would sooner sit on the floor and allow my grandparents to sit on the sofa and I would hope that anyone with an ounce of common sense wouldn't expect an elderly person to sit on the floor.

The helping with drinks is, sometimes, common courtesy but in the past when I've attempted to do such a thing i was told there was no need.

If it were my children I'd be telling them to give up their seats, though I'd like to think i would teach them well enough to do it on their own.

Brighton_belle

mumps wrote: »

And 20 years on I still feel like that.

And that is great mumps.
But in general, I think if a teenager offers someone 'older' their chair, it can be helpful to reward their consideration and good manners with accepting it even if you personally don't need it at that moment. They may feel embarrassed by a refusal and be hesitant to do it again if they feel self conscious about 'getting it wrong'.
If a young lad on a bus offers me his chair, I do accept with a smile and and an appreciative thank you.

emerald_starcat

It's all about the thought.
As long as the teenage children have the thought to offer their elders a seat or to offer to help make the drinks then that is all that matters.
Whether the help is wanted or not at least they asked.

pollypenny

It's about being thoughtful, as well as manners.

In school we'd have a briefing in the house office each day, taking about 10 mins. There was only one chair and about 14 of us.

One lovely trainee teacher decided she need was greatest - even more than the pregnant lady and we oldies.

luxor4t

I'd expect the youngsters to make themselves useful and to sit on the stairs.

persa

Generally speaking, I think whoever is hosting should sort drinks. If you don't want to host, why invite anyone?

An offer of help is nice from anyone who is close enough to the host to actually know where everything is in their kitchen and who knows how at least a handful of guests like their drinks, otherwise it's a pretty pointless suggestion, IMHO. For example, I'd help my mum or my MIL make drinks, but I wouldn't offer to help my OH's aunt. I don't know her well enough to know where she keeps everything, or how she and her OH like their tea. If you have to ask loads of questions, you're 'helping' to be polite rather than practical - and can actually hinder the whole process.

Re prioritising chairs, first it goes people who would struggle to get back up (dodgy knee, pregnancy bump, etc), then people who might get poorly from sitting on the floor for too long (asthma, allergies, etc). Age is not my first consideration! Some people do get more frail as they get older, but my OH's granddad is one of the fittest men I know. Certainly puts me to shame...

In the example given, it's possible the teenagers didn't count how many seats there were and/or expected one of the grown ups to grab extra chairs from another room. OP, were the teenagers 'guests'/'visitors' in the grandparents' house, or are they quite a close family unit?

Mrs_Optimist

Teenagers sit on floor. Without question. They should offer to help with drinks but if turned down at least they asked. I would be horrified if either of my children (13 and 11) had to even be prompted to give up their seat for an adult. It should be done as a matter of course in my opinion. I am passing my upbringing on to them.

GobbledyGook

In our family it was always the youngest sat on the floor. After my mother's funeral my brother and I got a chuckle from the mid-40's daughter of my grandmother's best friend realising she was the youngest and shifting to the floor - we were 14 and she seemed like such a grown up it was amusing to see her sat with the 'young ones'.

In ex-H's family if the teens were girls they'd be given seats over older men. Used to bug the life out of me when his uncles or FIL insisted on standing or sitting on the floor whilst his cousin and myself (late teens/early 20's at the time) were on seats. They'd be quite offended if a woman offered a man their seat.

SingleSue

We do it in a sort of rota fashion......mum (nearly 70) and dad (nearly 72) have their seats but it is a free for all for everyone else. If all else fails, they will bring in garden chairs for people to sit on or the children or the adults will sit with a young cousin/niece/nephew/grandchild on their laps so that no-one needs to sit on the floor.

My boys (18, 15 and 14) will do a round of drinks too for everyone, so don't expect to be waited on hand and foot. They will even help out with household chores, for example, cutting the grass, bringing in the heavy shopping etc as they know my dad in particular is not very steady on his feet.