Your opinions on generational attitudes?

burnoutbabe

i would expct the 4 year old to sit on the floor, not sure I would 16 or 19 - they are old enought to marry/have kids so why make them sit on the floor?

I'd think it daft that not enough chairs were provided for everyone, surely some dining room chairs should be around to sit on? or people sit on sofas or kitchen tables.

And the hosts or the 40 year olds do the drinks. most teens don't make a great cup of tea!

Badger_Lady

I'd absolutely expect the comfiest seats to go to the most senior (elder) family members. Certainly whenever I find myself in a multi-generational gathering I will find myself a place to perch that allows others a proper seat. That often means sitting on a footstool or even grabbing a throw cushion and sitting cross-legged on that. (I'm 29 now but since I've never bred I still tend to be among the youngest). My knees don't love it but it's social grace and I can almost certainly cope better than the over-60s in the room.

I will usually offer to help with serving drinks etc but generally expect to be turned down. Although if I'm in my parents' house I'll know where everything is and will therefore help automatically, maybe even taking over things like tea preparation. And this has been the same since I was fairly young: my grandmother still goes on about how surprised she was when 9-yr-old me offered her a cup of tea and she expected me to break open a plastic toy set, not a genuine hot drink!

daska

Not only do I expect my kids to give up their seats for older people and help serve drinks I take quite a tough line with their friends as well, quite often along the lines of "did you notice the wheelchair in the hall? that's there because I can't walk very well. now, who's helping? or does one of you want to push the chair around so I can get your drinks...?" If they don't respond positively then they aren't allowed to visit again. (So far that's only 1 girl who's actually been banned and she was a potty mouthed, manipulative little stirrer who I'm not sad to see the back of.)

ani_26

burnoutbabe wrote: »

And the hosts or the 40 year olds do the drinks. most teens don't make a great cup of tea!

They will never learn if they never make one? :rotfl:Practice makes perfect?


Personally, i would always offer help, ( even if it's refused,) but that's just the way i am, ( not that i go anywhere.) :rotfl:

podperson

I would expect them to give up their seats. In our family it's always been expected that if there's not enough seats the younger ones will sit on the floor as it's simply common sense that they'll find it easier to do so then a grandparent will.
Regarding drinks, if it's their house (eg their parents hosting) then yes it might be nice if they helped. I wouldn't think as much of it in someone else's house as I would assume the host would sort the drinks - though maybe an offer to carry the tray in a case like this where they have 'bad legs' might be nice.

claire16c

building_with_lego wrote: »

I know that at their ages it wouldn't have occurred to me to volunteer to help with drinks in an older relative's home, as it would have seemed intrusive. I wouldn't have hogged the sofa while the old folk stood though.

I agree with this part.

The 40 year olds could easily offer to help especially as its their own parents. And theyre probably better at making it than a 14 year old.

I think its pretty obvious that the teenagers should have sat on the floor so the grand parents could sit down.

Serving drinks wise - its normally the host who would do this and my Nan is in her 80s and perfectly capable of making tea - but of course if the person is unable to for whatever reason then someone else could offer - and I would have thought that the hosts 'children' could have done this. I know my parents would.

londonsurrey

How about the 40 year olds? Would you expect the teenagers to give up the seats to someone who is fit, but older?

daska

londonsurrey wrote: »

How about the 40 year olds? Would you expect the teenagers to give up the seats to someone who is fit, but older?

Absolutely.

Obviously disability makes the exception, I usually get to choose the highest chair with arms cos otherwise someone has to pull me out of it LOL but I'll happily give way to my MIL when her back's playing up etc

Brighton_belle

londonsurrey wrote: »

How about the 40 year olds? Would you expect the teenagers to give up the seats to someone who is fit, but older?

My nephews, from young children to now in their 20's would instantly get up and offer me (decrepid auntie in 40's:D)their seat. I always accept. True, I do have arthritis etc, but they would do it anyway because they are kind and considerate.

Non of them have any problem sitting on the floor, as I didn't at their age - the fact 'they could be married' (one of them is) just sounds a really funny reason not to be considerate and curteous to others more in need. They are self confident enough not to see it as a slight on their adult status to sit on the floor. In fact they would regard it as demeaning to themselves if they didn't offer others in greater need the seats.

I would still cheerfully sit on the floor in the company of oldies who needed the seats. I just need a crane these days to get me up again:D

londonsurrey

Thank you for your answers. It is nice to know that I'm not alone.

I was brought up to always defer to the generation before me, and even some unrelated neighbours and friends were addressed as "Auntie". Am a tad nonplussed when I come across people who consider themselves to have a perfectly mannered family, but have children who have no inkling of giving up seats, and I was beginning to feel a bit of an anachronism!