Divorce/house and equity issues. PLEASE HELP

Bettyboop

back2square1, thank you for taking the time to write some thorough advice. I think about our matrimonial home so much that I want to get back in there...and be able to stay there until my little girl is much older. Does anyone know if this is possible? To confirm I am in a rented house with my daughter but want to go back to the home I jointly own. My lease is up in May and if this can be done I will really do anything. Keep the advice coming in please.

Bettyboop

Wow back2square1....your husband and mine could be twins! He also had an affair and then he did it again as well. What is it with certain men these days?

Bettyboop

back2square1...I just want to add that I hope someday to have the same outlook on life as you do. Right now.....it feels like I'm drowning. I can't believe how difficult it is to hold down a job, raise my little girl, battle going through a divorce and of course to keep trying to pay me debts off....in the region of £3000. I am going to look at some single parent websites. Hopefully there will be some further advice. Thanks a ton.

back2square1

Firstly I would like to apologise I did not read every single post on this thread before posting my reply earlier.

You may be better off claiming working tax credit. You can access benefit calculators online, put in every scenario ie. working full time, part-time and not working at all. It will show you exactly what you can get in each scenario.

Sorry I did not realise about the situation of family and friends, but I would like to re-iterate about Gingerbread, they have local groups (you need to find out if there is one in your area) which put single parents in touch with each other.

Your daughter will benefit from a set routine with regards to access with her father. My boys are far more settled now they KNOW exactly when they see their dad every week and also they are always entitled to telephone him whenever they would like to. Also, YOU can organise a regular social life whenever your daughter goes to stay overnight with her father. (Maintenance can be deducted by one seventh for every day she stops overnight with her father).

Bettyboop

Don't worry back2square1 you really have been very helpful. The access to her dad really needs sorting out because she has only spent one weekend so far this year with him..

Will definitely have a look at the online calculators to see where I stand given the three scenarios above.

back2square1

You can move back into matrimonial home, surely your husband would not throw his own daughter out onto the streets. GET BACK IN THERE!! TOP TIP- Never say YOU need to move back in, say OUR daughter needs stability and would benefit from staying there. ALWAYS play it from OUR daughter needs not what you want or need. Coincidentally whatever your daughter needs you will also benefit from because you are her primary care giver.

If I was you I wouldn't even tell him you are moving back in just in case he changes the locks, just move back in. Make sure you tell your solicitor about this though.

Bettyboop

back2sqauare1, I have always put my daughter first and everytime I explain what needs she/we have he says things like "stop using her" to have everything. My Solicitor is back in 2 weeks and will definitely let her know. I don't want to stay in this rented house anymore. He would be absolutely fine in a rented room or house somewhere.

back2square1

Do not worry about it, your solicitor can sort this out for you with an interim court order. Your ex husband will throw everything he can at you, he is looking out for himself but this is selfish when you both have a daughter who is the priority.

I know you are putting your daughter first, my comments earlier was just to make sure your ex husband realises this too. My ex husband did not like to do anything that he thought may benefit me, so I constantly reminded him that it was for our sons, not me. The court will be in your favour, they do not support reluctant fathers who do not put their child first.

Ignore everything your ex husband says, only listen to solicitors advice! You are responsible for your daughter and yourself, the solicitor will guide you through this. Your ex husband cannot say what he wants and expect you to agree, the decision lies with the courts no one else. The courts decide what is best for you and your daughter NOT him.

back2square1

Also I have just noticed there is another thread in this forum about finding friends after losing contact with them when they entered their current (yet now rocky) relationship.

You should have a quick read of it, the replies the person has had are very welcoming and reassuring. Maybe you could try the same too.

back2square1

If you want to you can PM me if you wish to discuss anything in a more private and confidential way.

I am on MSE most days - it's like the bible to my life, ha ha.

I forgot to mention about £3000 debt, is it possible to 0% balance transfer this? It is good to keep the debt whilst you are trying to achieve financial settlement but I would not want you to keep this debt and be charged interest on it too.