Help with 3 year old please

Kelinik

I work with 3 yr olds and had two of my own - believe me your LO isn't rude at all lol!!

Moonbeam

My 4yo asked exactly the same thing about someone in a wheelchair - it's just that it's maybe the first time she's noticed it. I just quietly explained to my son that the person had poorly legs which meant they couldn't walk - after that he just accepted it and carried on. I think it's easy to forget that at this young age they really haven't seen it all and like to ask when they see something different - remember they look at us parents as if we know the answers to life, the universe and everything!!!

So long as she is being polite in most situations it doesn't sound like she is abnormal in any way. As an aside, if she likes Dora the Explorer there is a book in that series on good manners. My son loves it and it helps him to remember to say please and thank you - I picked it up in Sainbury's for about £3.

We also try to to teach our son that certain behaviour isn't "acceptable" and explain why if possible, he has really grasped the concept of acceptable/not acceptable more than yes/no. I think it helps him to feel grown up - apparently he's even used it at nursery when other kids take toys from him - he tells them it's not acceptable behaviour - makes the carers laugh

alwaysskint96

My 3 year olkd son embarrassed me today in a little chef by calling out loud "Can i have my ice cream now please. I finished my dinner ages ago"

Admittedly I did think the service was a little low but obviously kept quiet about it

back2square1

Children are great at speaking their minds sometimes. There have been moments when I wished the ground would open up though.

Once I was shopping in Asda and a very overweight couple were working towards us and my 5 yr old son went and told them they should do some exercise. CRINGE!!!!

But the funniest instance was yet another time in Asda doing my shopping with my sons. They picked up some sanitary towels and shouted clearly for everyone to hear "Mummy do you need some nappies?" You've gotta love them!!!!

Janepig

funky-footprints wrote: »

My daughter asked her nursery teacher this week was she going to retire soon?? her teacher is only 39.

:rotfl::T:rotfl::T

Fantastic - funniest thing I've heard all day. I remember when I was a child thinking my teachers were ancient!!!! In fact I used to think my parents were ancient, when in fact they were younger then than I am now with my two, so goodness knows how old DD must think I am!!!!!

Jxx

Mics_chick

mae wrote: »

No she says things like for example in a cafe I asjed for a toastie for her with salad and the lady said the salads are very big so If I were you I would give her some off your plate so my daughter said very loudly and with a tone 'No I want my own salad' the lady tried to explain nicely to her and my daughter started again with a manner about her that wasn't pleasant. I told her that wasn't nice and she just looked embarrassed but started going on loudly even more. She just sounded cheeky and spoilt. It doesn't help she talks so much and so loud :rolleyes: . I wanted to make her apologise but I knew that she would have just gone worse through embarrassment and refused then I would have been more embarrassed. You know viscous cirlcle really but not acceptable surely.
She has asked things in the past when she saw a lady in a wheel chair she asked why that lady was in a pram? I explained to her and she was fine and that is normal and acceptable in my opinion.
Its the other things like when my friend said you look nice she replied 'No I don't' again in an unpleasant manner. Or when my other friend bought her some sweets my daughter said 'I didn't want them' :eek:

Comments like these are normal - my dd is 3yrs 9mths is always coming out with them and her pre-school leader has commented that "she is very independent!!" coz sometimes she will push you away if you're trying to help her with something and say "leave me alone I can do it myself!!"

I've never been in a similar situation with my dd as you were in the restaurant but I think I would have said "Please be quiet - I will tell the waitress what you're having to eat" and if she didn't shut up then I'd say "if you're not quiet you won't have anything". I know some people may think this sounds to harsh but if it was my dd I was dealing with it would be coz she wanted something that I didn't want her to have so the answer would have to be a simple "No!!"

If you feel your problem is a confidence/manners thing then I would say the same thing every time she did it like "that's not acceptable behaviour" and then continue with what you were doing and ignore her coz I think she'd soon get the message to be quiet if no-one was taking any notice of her...

Good luck with whatever you decide MC

Psykicpup

She's not being naughty at all just learning & expressing herself. I guess the waitress suggesting she share with you made her feel 'babyish' which she objected to - how would you feel if people always talked 'above' you as if you werent there. She obviously has a strong idea of her own identity which is a good thing. I think I would have waited until we had sat down & explained that the way your dd spoke had hurt the lady's feelings & suggest a more polite way of phrasing what she said. She is intelligent so she should be able to understand. Telling her off in front of who she has offended will embarass her -it would you wouldn't it! Maybe you have to put yourself in her shoes a bit & think how you would want to be treated if you had made a 'faux pas'.

Sorry that sounded really harsh & I didnt mean it to honestly. I went through the same thing with my dd who also spoke etc early & I found treating her with the same respect I would expect meant she learnt the nicetices(sp) very quickly.

mae

Thanks again everyone.
Psykicpup.. No I didn't think you sounded harsh, I agree with what you are saying its just sometimes with the phases they go through you can't see the wood for the trees and you build it into something its not if you know what I mean, so thanks for your comments.

purplepatch

Another vote for you having an absolutely normal 3yo. My DD1 is very *assertive* shall we say, very articulate, knows what she likes. She has tested me constantly over the past year and has very recently had her 4th bday. I do think she has got a bit better of late and with school starting in September I think that will make it improve further (does your DD start this year?). I got shouted down at preschool the other day when I said "roll on September" by all the teachers and other mums who were listening who are dreading it, but I truly believe my DD needs more challenges and is often bored. I asked her preschool teachers how they found her behaviour and they looked at me as if I was deranged - apparently she is a joy to have around and behaves angelically :rolleyes::rolleyes: - you gotta laugh eh! I also had DD2 last October (hence why I'm up at this very ungodly hour) and I sometimes wonder if that had any effect on her behaviour - she worships the baby though and hasn't showed any indication of jealousy whatsoever. I think reading all these fab posts, instead it is more a case of us having lots of normal clever little girls

Lyndsay_21

purplepatch wrote: »

I got shouted down at preschool the other day when I said "roll on September" by all the teachers and other mums who were listening who are dreading it

This is totally how i feel about my DD she has always been an early talker and very 'with it', the problem me and DD have is we need space from each other and we clash as we are so similar this sounds so silly seeing as i'm talking about a 4yr old but its true.
She likes the structure of nursery and i think she will flourish at school.

OP- my DD was exactly the same as she's got a bit older it's improved, they just don't realise it's rude. i just say not 'thats enough' and she knows to stop.