Why do some women stop their ex partners from seeing their kids?

VitaK

barbarawright wrote: »

If, for example, a man has beaten up the woman, frankly, even if he hasn't touched the children, I would still consider them at risk. YMMV. But I would say there are plenty of situations in which it is the duty of the parent with custody to restrict access.

So many parents get it wrong when they take it upon themself to restrict access.

Why not involve social services, maby the police and bring the matter to court.

**Patty**

VitaK wrote: »

Shame on the woman that makes acces difficult.

Shame on the man that dosen't put up the fight of his life, when the woman makes acces difficult.

And when you've spent over half a year's salary in getting a court order for access which is ignored by the PWC......what then?

is that considered enough?

VitaK

I would continue to fight for access beyound that point, yes.

Lotus-eater

It seems the OP hasn't come back since their initial post. I'm really surprised about that (not)

marisco_2

My ex and I divorced 6 years ago. I was determined that our children would have a positive, loving relationship with both of us. He could call them whenever he wanted, and could see them regularly. I always notified him of any hospital appointments and special events at school like sports days and parents evenings, shows etc.

For two years I had to protect my children from constant let downs. He wouldn't call when promised or call the next day to explain why. They would go to bed upset often. We used to meet half way between our two homes. On several occassions we drove up to our meeting point, kids all excited about spending time with daddy, only for him not to show up. He never phoned to give any reason. The journeys back home on those occassions were awful. When I asked him why he did this he screamed down the phone at me 'Its always about you, you, you and those kids'.

The last time he saw them was almost 4 years ago. He dropped them back a day early from a weekend visit saying he had something to do. 2 days later he left the UK and went back to his homeland for good. Took me 3 months to find that out.

He doesn't remember the children on their birthdays or at Xmas. If he sent anything I would show them and not tear it up. I think it's awful if someone does that. Whether they would want it or care is questionable now though. Some people just aren't fit to be parents. Its not as black and white as your first post suggested OP.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Dunno.

Why do some men stop the mums from having any contact with their children?

Why do some men murder their children when their relationship breaks down?

Why do some men disappear without so much as a second thought when they meet someone else?

Why do some men try and convince their new partners that their ex is a prostitute, addict or complete fruitcake when the woman was perfectly good enough for them for the period until they found a replacement?

shortdog

marisco wrote: »

He doesn't remember the children on their birthdays or at Xmas. If he sent anything I would show them and not tear it up. I think it's awful if someone does that. Whether they would want it or care is questionable now though. Some people just aren't fit to be parents. Its not as black and white as your first post suggested OP.

My ex has sent a couple of cards to the kids for their birthdays (not for a couple of years now), and I could never let them have them, due to the things he has written in them. I can't hand my kids a card that is full of emotional blackmail, and calls me really nasty names - the last one (for my daughter) came via the school, and the headteacher phoned me to let me know it was there, and that I had to collect it, as she was not willing to hand it to my daughter, even in a sealed envelope, just in case.
However, the cards are stored in a safe place, where the kids will never find them, in case they ask for them when they are adults. I would never rip them up, as they might want to see them when they are older, but there is no way I could let them have them just now:(

Ellejmorgan

VitaK wrote: »

So many parents get it wrong when they take it upon themself to restrict access.

Why not involve social services, maby the police and bring the matter to court.

The social services and the police wil not get involved it's private law..

Ellejmorgan

rpc wrote: »

If the child is not at risk, yes. Just because the parents had a difficult relationship, doesn't mean that the child cannot have a meaningful relationship with both of them. The child's right to a chance at that relationship should override anything that exists between the parents.

You would otherwise have to define abusive, which would be rather hard. Not all abuse is clear cut.

Abuse is clear cut, google the freedom programme by Pat Craven, it is being taught in refuges and recommended by Womans aid and health visitors and other professionals..
It's the only programme of it's kind to explain & define all types of abuse, why it's being done, what the root cause is and clearly outlines the offence...

[Deleted User]

I would love my ex to see more of his son. I have always tried to be civilised and kindly to him since we split up while he has gone further and further down the 'bitter' route. He told my son he was leaving because I was having an affair when he left (I most definitely wasn't although I had asked him to leave after years of emotional blackmail and lying). I have spent the last six years trying to explain his 'can't be bothered to see you' behaviour so our son doesn't feel like its his fault. And after six years, being in financial difficulty and being unable to trust he'd keep to a private arrangement, I have finally said yes to the CSA chasing him for support money. This of course just re-inforces his anger and reinforces him telling my son I'm a thief, liar, and general money grabber lol. I'd laugh if it wasn't so stupid. Problem is, it all affects my son mentally. But I recognise he loves his Dad and needs to see him. If only he would.