Why do some women stop their ex partners from seeing their kids?

Lozzy88

In my experience it's the last bit of control they have left over the relationship, it doesn't make it right or fair and it's way too common nowadays

valkirn

Dunno, we have been asking this question for the length of time me and the oh have been together, he is denied access to his kids from a first marrage the youngest he hasnt seen since the day she was born,

He has finally been allowed to contact them through our solicitor its only written contact but its something.. for now!

pelirocco

Notsosharp wrote: »

I don't stop my ex partner seeing his child; I never have although I'm sure if you asked him he'd tell you different. So bear that in mind next time you think to condemn these women who don't let fathers see their children, theres always two sides to every story,

In actual fact I'd love it if he would see her more, as it is he only makes the effort to see her twice a year claiming lack of money whilst still having sufficient finances to pop over to Turkey whenever he feels like it (he part owns an apartment over there). I wouldn't mind if he lived in Turkey but he doesn't, he lives in Scotland!

Basically he's got better things to do then make the effort to see his daughter. The worst of it is is she's starting to realise how little he cares for her when she's just reaching that teenage age and could probably do with having a stable father figure more then ever.

The OP specifically said those mothers who stop contact , and from what you have said its not what you are doing?

[Deleted User]

lozzy88 wrote: »

In my experience it's the last bit of control they have left over the relationship, it doesn't make it right or fair and it's way too common nowadays

Completely agree. I stayed calm and unaffected in a conversation with my ex over a savings account his parents had set up for our son, making his father the trustee. My son needed a laptop, his father tried to blackmail me by saying he'd allow my son access to the account in his name if I dropped the CSA case and he'd start seeing our son again.

I didn't react. Just repeated that whilst it was our son's money and our son had been upset by his stance.., I heard his decision. But I hoped he'd always keep an open door for our son. Got a quite obnoxious reply mentioning the word twaddle at best lol. I assume because I didn't beg or go into one.

He he.., my ex has a suprise coming tomorrow though. Will update on my other thread tomorrow. Poor man, he's forgotten who I am lol.

Newgirl_2

Erm, I don't know. The same reason that some fathers leave and choose to never contact the child or pay maintenance to them. Because they can? Because it suits them?

I don't think mothers automatically get custody but for reasons others have listed, it's often the prudent option.

In my case, my father left and I was given the option - I chose to stay with my mother. She didn't leave. Simple. But she never would have stopped me seeing him if I wanted to. The hard bit would have been finding him.

You can't ever treat mothers and fathers equally because, ultimately they are different and people are all different. Surely the ideal is to do what works best for the children involved.

Newgirl

PS I'm answering assuming your question was a genuine one. Benefit of the doubt and all that.