how to get over someone you cant be with

raven83

meandmylife wrote: »

i dont know if it would be easier to talk to her and tell her why we should have contact or if i should just cut her off and ignore her if contact is made.
i know if she hears nothing from me for a few weeks , she will get touch asking if everything is alright .

I would tell her as to why you can't have contact with her then I would change my phone numbers and not reply to any of her contact if she makes any.

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I guessed that, but a little lightness to the situation never hurt.

All of us remember something that can never be, or a situation that never quite did, or a person that almost has.

It's human nature We get to choose who we are with.

Choose.

Hmmmmm we don't choose our sexuality though, that chooses us!!!!:whistle:

Lotus-eater

raven83 wrote: »

Hmmmmm we don't choose our sexuality though, that chooses us!!!!:whistle:

Where did I say it was anything to do with sexuality?

I said you can choose who you are with, nothing to do with the sex of the person, that is irrelevant.

raven83

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Where did I say it was anything to do with sexuality?

I said you can choose who you are with, nothing to do with the sex of the person, that is irrelevant.

Sorry you're right, skim read it

Yes that is true you choose who to be with it is your decision, if I was you OP i'd steer well clear and be happy how you are, the grass is definitely not greener.

1940sGal

Mara69 wrote: »

Stop being friends, stop meeting with him, cut all contact. Stop fantasising about what might have been, because it is just that - a fantasy. Concentrate on the relationship you have. You are actually being very disloyal and selfish.

^^ Best piece of advice you could be given. The longer you keep in contact the longer these feelings will continue.

You know you can't be with A so by cutting all contact you will eventually get over him/her. It will be hard and you will need willpower but eventually they'll become a memory. If you need a reason, just look at your partner.

meandmylife

i am happy with the choices i have made in my life concerning my husband.
its just the thoughts that i cant control ( the now anyway) about her thats getting to me .
i don not have any desire to find out if anything is greener , i like the shade i have

Rochdale_Guy

Hope you make the right decision.

I'm thinking of starting my own similar thread titled:

"How to get over someone you cant be with when they have no idea you want to be with them"

Would there be anyone willing to contribute?

raven83

meandmylife wrote: »

i am happy with the choices i have made in my life concerning my husband.
its just the thoughts that i cant control ( the now anyway) about her thats getting to me .
i don not have any desire to find out if anything is greener , i like the shade i have

That's good then. We all have our little fantasies, I still think about my first love, I think about him at times and wonder what life might of been like if I'd stayed with him, but I wouldn't do anything about it now, it is in the past.

1940sGal

meandmylife wrote: »

i am happy with the choices i have made in my life concerning my husband.
its just the thoughts that i cant control ( the now anyway) about her thats getting to me .
i don not have any desire to find out if anything is greener , i like the shade i have

I don't think any of us would be human if, at one stage, we didn't wonder if the grass was greener elsewhere. I imagine even the happiest of married couples have had these thoughts at some point, as you show.

To err is human and all that...:)

Rochdale_Guy

1940sGal wrote: »

I don't think any of us would be human if, at one stage, we didn't wonder if the grass was greener elsewhere. I imagine even the happiest of married couples have had these thoughts at some point, as you show.

To err is human and all that...:)

True. ............

raven83

Rochdale_Guy wrote: »

And you're quite happy with me now aren't you raven83

Behave yourself :rotfl: