Trying for a Baby Part 8

victoria270385

thanks for your reply, much appreciated. If i got pregnant this time round he would be almost 12 when its born and probably 12 and a half to 13 when it goes in his room so chances of him still staying over on set nights will reduce as he will be at high school doing stuff with his mates. im probably just panicking over nothing, i just keep looking at the space we have in our two bedrooms and thinking where it is all gonna go haha. If he decorates the way he wants it will be avengers and super hero's, i cant help being selfish here thinking thats not how i would want my babys room decorated....arghhh its hard. xx

rumfeeble

Here’s a quick list of the potential benefits of Maca root:

• balances mood
• strengthens the skin
• increases energy
• increases libido and fertility
• better sleep
• helps your body adapt to stress
• increases memory and brain power
• anti-aging properties
• anti-acne properties
• increases endurance and stamina
• reduces symptoms of PMS and menopause
• helps to reduce aches and pains
• strengthens hair and reduces hair loss

And specifically with regards to fertility:

http://natural-fertility-info.com/maca

codemonkey

I can imagine. We all have ideas of how we'd decorate the baby's room, but ..sometimes it's not practical. A teenage boy is not going to feel comfortable with that, and even if he's only staying once or twice a month he'll still need to feel like it's also his room iyswim, especially if he's struggling at his mum's. Not explaining myself very well. We only have one spare room too so I feel your pain.

codemonkey

rumfeeble wrote: »

Here’s a quick list of the potential benefits of Maca root:

• balances mood
• strengthens the skin
• increases energy
• increases libido and fertility
• better sleep
• helps your body adapt to stress
• increases memory and brain power
• anti-aging properties
• anti-acne properties
• increases endurance and stamina
• reduces symptoms of PMS and menopause
• helps to reduce aches and pains
• strengthens hair and reduces hair loss

And specifically with regards to fertility:

http://natural-fertility-info.com/maca

I'm also trying maca this month. 3 capsules a day although it also comes in powder form so you can sprinkle on food. Its a Peruvian tuber like a potato. If only I could get DH to take them. He won't swallow pills and there is no way he'd eat the powder.

victoria270385

thanks code. I think we will just have a sit down with him and cross the bridge when we come to it xx

Metranil_Vavin

Q - I agree with TeamLowe, it seems to me like your OH is having a freak out about the whole TTC thing, and maybe his part in the struggle to conceive has made him lose the plot.

I recall you saying before that he used to question you a lot about where you were in your cycle/had you ov'd etc, which is peculiar as he is so shut off to now. Most men would run a mile from asking those kind of questions, and basically just want to do the BD and that is about it for their contribution!

Maybe he is hyper-sensitive to the fact you guys have been tryig for so long, and maybe the mc did affect him more than he maybe showed at the time?

And maybe as Code has said, he feels he needs to let you go so you can maybe try with someone else?

All this could be complete b0llocks and I may be way off the mark, but it does just seem so odd.

hate to ask, but do you suspect he may have met someone else?

To be frank, I think even if that was the case he should man up and tell you.

It's the silence/not knowing which must be particularly hard x

Metranil_Vavin

ps - I have gone for the world record number of 'maybe's' in one post!:o

fannyanna

QQ - You're going to hate me and I'm sure I'm going to end up on an ignore list but I say this from a compassionate place as although I do not know you in real life you're somebody who it's hard not to care about in TTC life......

You seem very resigned to the fact that your marriage is over but you don’t seem to be doing much to prevent it. Are you ok with the divorce on one level (but maybe a bit afraid to admit that to yourself) or do you really want to stay in this marriage? If the latter is the case you need to make that crystal clear to your Husband.

I obviously don’t know the dynamic of your relationship and I don’t know everything that has happened since your Husband hit you with the divorce bombshell. But from the few posts that I’ve seen it seems that you’re both avoiding each other and more importantly you’re both avoiding the massive elephant in the room.

You perceive that your Husband doesn’t care. He just drops this bombshell on you and then refuses to discuss matters.

But I wonder how your Husband might be perceiving things? Have you tried to start a conversation with him about your relationship? Have you tried to tell him how you feel about his request for a divorce? If not, do you think that he could be thinking that you don’t care?

I know from my own relationship that sometimes despite what you say or how you act your true feelings are actually very different. I’ve used the D word in the heat of the moment with my Husband. I didn’t mean it. I just got very worked up, couldn’t handle my feelings and as a result blurted out something I didn’t mean. Did I know I was wrong? Yes! Did I really want a divorce? No! Did I backtrack straight away? Hell no! Part of it was stubbornness but part of it was fear. I was scared that he was going to agree with me that we should divorce. I needed reassurance (that we were ok, that he loved me etc) from him before I could admit that I was wrong and that what I said wasn’t actually what I meant.

I think I remember you saying that your Husband struggled with his emotions sometimes. If that is the case it’s even more plausible that he’s overreacted in a particular moment but is now terrified of the consequences of his actions. And maybe he needs a bit of reassurance that it can be ok.

Maybe I’ve got it all wrong but ultimately you’re never going to get to the bottom of things if you don’t talk. And someone has to make the first move.

I am really, really sorry if I’ve p’d you off. I shall remove my big nose from your business. Whatever happens next I genuinely wish you well x

amyloofoo

There are so many wonderful people in the world and they seem to appear when they're very needed and even more unexpected. I've just been to buy a card and prezzie for sis and clearly am a little hormonal, because I had a little sob whilst looking at the cards The sour-faced woman from behind the till came over, and I was expecting a scolding, but she just looked at the card I was holding then gave me a big hug and wouldn't let me pay for it I've now manned up enough to write the bloody thing and am doing deep breathing to try to avoid more of the same when I actually get to the hospital. On the plus side I managed to get them a little hand / foot prints set, so they can remember how tiny she once was, along with some adorable booties and a coffee set for the two of them. I totally forgot she was lactose intolerant and bought her some chocolates.... oh well, looks like they're mine now

Birdie85

Oh QQ, I wish I could come and give you a cuddle and your OH a slap! He does realise that if it gets as far as divorce, he's going to have to speak to you about it? Sounds like he's worried about the struggle you're having concieving, maybe he thinks he's 'cutting you loose' since the issue is with his swimmers rather than your eggs and you'd probably find it much easier to have a baby with someone else? The others are better with sensible words of comfort and advice than I am, but I'm thinking of you.

Tell me to s0d off with my intrusive question, but if it did get to divorce do you think you'd go down a donor route and carry on as a single parent? I just feel like you're destined to be an amazing mother and hate to think that the opportunity to do so is being snatched away from you!

Welcome Victoria, hope you're not here too long. It's a tough one with your step-son but Code makes a good point. Unless you have the baby stay in your room when DSS is over? I guess it's something you'll have to discuss with him when it happens.

What a lovely woman Amyloo! I'm sure when you hold your niece you'll feel wonderful but I know how difficult it can be with the green-eyed monster rearing its ugly head! I'm going to find it very difficult to cope when my nephew (just found out it's a boy last night ) is born in April, and it'll be even worse if I'm still not PG by then!

ETA: The maca root sounds like a wonder supplement Rum! Thanks for that! Will have a look for some.