Flying solo

Igamogam

Well we got the Christmas present thing sorted..............when our own children came along we told everybody that we would no longer buy presents for all and sundry - however strong or tenuous the family link. If they bought for our children ( we definitely didnt want anything) then they should only expect a thank you letter in return.............took 10 years for some family members ( on OH side) to the get the message:eek: I finally had to tell a SIL that we were not mean spirited but found Christmas too expensive to please everybody and she put it about the family we were 'poor and destitute':eek: She p!ssed me off no end. We also put a stop to the 'where do go/who do we have for Christmas mostly because most of my family are flung across the globe and number only a few whereas OH has a HUGE family all within the M25 who all use to argue as to 'who would have Mother' When we had 'Mother' one year it was a perfect |Christmas - snow was deep and crisp and even and the atmosphere relaxed - which mightly p!ssed off said SIL:D cos 'Mother wouldn't shut up about it. Sadly the MIL is no longer with us and neither is mine so we tend to pull up the drawbridge Christmas Eve and then invite friends Boxing Day. As far as OH family goes we always invite them in the full knowledge that they will refuse as it is too far/remote/what happens if it snows/can you really cook a Christmas dinner on a solid fuel Aga? Weirdly they always invite us!

*Robin*

Good morning Diary and MSE friends, :wave:

Thank you for giving me food for thought, Igamogam; I think your ideas are very sensible - simplifying the whole 'problem of xmas' - made me realise that actually we have been very inconsistent over the years.
Maybe I should just back away from the whole gift thing until I've got my finances sorted out - all the kids will be getting plenty of presents at xmas anyway so there's no reason why I shouldn't do surprise un-xmas treats when I find the right thing, and can afford it. Think I will be staying out of everyone's way for the festivities anyway as I don't want to bring down the mood (actually, wish I could afford to spend the day itself with MIL who's also been bereaved this year - but she's decided to avoid the problem of the first xmas without FIL by treating herself to the holiday of a lifetime - eight weeks in New Zealand & Australia, flying 1st class and staying in 5* hotels!).

Right; back to the paperwork. Didn't do any of it yesterday in the end, instead a friend and I took our dogs for a very long walk - making the most of a glorious autumn afternoon.

Oops; forgot the weekly statistics:
NSD - 5
NMD - 2
Weight - no loss, no gain.

HeadAboveWater

I think a lot of people are 'cutting down' at Christmas. I've cut out a few people and those I am buying will not have a fortune spent on them either! No point putting yourself in debt just for the sake of being seen to be given some flashy fancy present! No thank you!!!!

Fair play to MIL and FIL!! That sounds absolutely fantastic! And possibly just what they need. It is a pity you couldn't join them though.... What's their luggage size/weight limit???

*Robin*

HeadAboveWater wrote: »

Fair play to MIL and FIL!! That sounds absolutely fantastic! And possibly just what they need. It is a pity you couldn't join them though.... What's their luggage size/weight limit???

Ah no, I wasn't clear. FIL died earlier this year so MIL will also be missing his presence at xmas for the first time. MIL's trip will cost over £20K plus spends so there's no chance I could join her - as she's 80 years old no-one begrudges her indulging herself after a lifetime of serving her family.
I've never been able to afford to fly long-distance 1st class so no idea how much luggage she can take; knowing her she'll buy most of what she needs as and when anyway.

HeadAboveWater

Oh sorry! You were clear. It's Monday morning, I'm not awake right, and I misread. So sorry!

And you're right about nobody begrudging her that holiday!

(...and I also meant for her to stash you in her luggage bag...!;))

*Robin*

HeadAboveWater wrote: »

(...and I also meant for her to stash you in her luggage bag...!;))

Aargh - over ten hours in an unheated luggage compartment on the 'plane? That's if the x-ray operator didn't notice me inside a suitcase. ..Umm, not likely!
But thanks for making me giggle; needed that this morning.

Ooh - just seen that my local auction house are holding a charity valuation day today; what a shame I've packed away that medal and King George's letter. Still, I might take another couple of bits over; DS3's antique teddies and some jewellery MIL gave me recently, that maybe should be specified on the insurance. The teddies are too fragile to be played with by another generation, I know DS3 would be happy for them to be sold. Not the jewellery though - I'd like a chance to wear it at a suitable occasion, unless it turns out to be a real heirloom in which case it will be my 'last ditch' fund in case of desperate need.

Not doing very well with knuckling down to my paperwork, am I?

*Robin*

'Morning Diary,

Woozy today; think I took painkillers while half asleep in the middle of the night - left the doors wide open too but don't remember waking up - then had to take pills in order to get vertical this morning; now feels like I've had at least a double dose, can't walk straight and am typing with one finger.
Bad bad Robin. Am not so worried about a ne'er-do-well noticing the open doors - Clever Dog sleeps on my toes and would repel an intruder who wasn't bothered that they'd set off the movement sensor lights in the garden - but overdosing myself is frightening. Wonder if there's some kind of box with a timer available to buy which would at least record the last time it was opened?
Feel a bit better after putting m'head under the cold shower but wow.. Not good.

The auction house was interesting. They've taken the teddies and valued my jewellery; one ring I thought had a diamond in, hasn't - they said the stone has been replaced at some time which is amusing - thanks Dad - but at least I can wear that one without worrying about losing it. I've got to take another piece back later in the week to show a visiting expert as they didn't know what to make of it, and had a nice surprise in that two rings I thought were silver are actually white gold and platinum.
Together the jewellery is a very useful 'emergency fund' which can be cashed in if things get desperate, but I'll keep it all for now and enjoy wearing some of it on suitable occasions.

It's a lovely day; an early walk is in order I think, see if I can clear my head before reading through the draft of my new Will. No news yet from the Land Registry and nothing from DWP. I do hope the Bereavement Allowance/Benefit [whichever is the weekly payment] shows up before the solicitor's bill or I may have to cash in the jewellery sooner than I'd like to.

NewLeaf_2

Hi Robin. I think the Christmas cutting back is sensible. I am going to do the same.

chevalier

Robin did they actually give you a valuation in writing for the jewellery? Only if it is worth alot, it would be wise to check your contents insurance to see if they need specifying.

I have just had to do that with my jewellery over here. I nearly fell off my chair at what some of my rings were worth. Even my wedding ring and engagement ring were a tidy price (and the engagement ring needed to be specified)

Wow to your MIL doing such a long trip, I hope she has a wonderful time. Visiting Aus and NZ is a lovely experience, though I can't say the same for living here (in NZ), but that is as much down to me as the place. sigh.

Can you not get a pill case to put a weeks worth of pills in? Then at least you would know you had taken one out of the morning slot say on a day? But actually having a time built in is a good idea too.
chev

*Robin*

Hello Diary, and lovely MSE friends,

Apologies for my absence; been a bit wobbly and not very well. Stupid things are really getting to me; for example, just had a quick look on the Families board to see if a particular poster has been on-line. She hasn't, but another thread caught my eye: Someone wanting a new relationship just after splitting up with her fella. She's got healthy big kids, her own home seems secure enough but she wants a new bloke to prop her up and people are saying 'get counselling' - dear Lord I would so love to be in her position. I'd willingly put up with the pain of DH going off with a floozy; just knowing he was still alive and there for our kids would be enough..
Don't worry, I didn't comment.

Yesterday I had to go out and get a replacement item for someone; we'd borrowed it and DS broke it by accident. Suddenly I just wanted to hear DH laughingly say 'You twerp! Ok let's sort this out' - had to pull over until I could see again and had stopped shaking. Suppose I was lucky the Police didn't spot me on the hard shoulder of the motorway. Even luckier that I didn't cause an accident!

Have pulled myself together a bit this morning - DH wouldn't approve of me turning into a useless jelly heap!
My trip to the superstore turned into a rather expensive one; didn't spend much on general groceries but rather a lot on xmas treats to take with me to the cottage. Am surrounded by 'packing' now - my room is a real mess! Think I'd better stop adding to the load or there's a real danger it won't all fit in the van. As it is, I think Daft Dogs and I are going to have to stay in hotels on the way down as there won't be enough room to sleep & cook in the van - not very MSE I know, but at the moment I don't care!

chevalier wrote: »

Robin did they actually give you a valuation in writing for the jewellery? Only if it is worth alot, it would be wise to check your contents insurance to see if they need specifying.

I have just had to do that with my jewellery over here. I nearly fell off my chair at what some of my rings were worth. Even my wedding ring and engagement ring were a tidy price (and the engagement ring needed to be specified)

Hello Chev :hello: Yes, that was the idea; and yes they did. Though I didn't get back to see their expert yesterday with what is probably the most valuable piece - might just take a guess on that one and list it anyway. My insurers didn't ask for proof before, just a larger premium lol.

chevalier wrote: »

Wow to your MIL doing such a long trip, I hope she has a wonderful time. Visiting Aus and NZ is a lovely experience, though I can't say the same for living here (in NZ), but that is as much down to me as the place. sigh.

Indeed, I am full of admiration for MIL. She's going with a friend of hers who's also been bereaved this year; two old ladies who've had to scrimp all their lives and both were surprised at how much their late hubbies had hidden away - it's lovely that they've decided to treat themselves rather than hang onto the money just for the sake of their kids, none of whom need the inheritance tbh (all their children said "Go! Have a great time!").

I'm sorry you're having trouble settling in NZ; the lack of a job must be a big part of that. Have you thought of going self-employed?

chevalier wrote: »

Can you not get a pill case to put a weeks worth of pills in? Then at least you would know you had taken one out of the morning slot say on a day? But actually having a time built in is a good idea too.
chev

It's the painkillers that are the problem as I don't have a regular dose for them. Am looking into it but haven't found a pill-case that will do what I need yet; could well be another project for my evenings once I've got all the paperwork sorted out - which reminds me, a visit to the solicitor would be a good idea today.

Still no sign of the Bereavement Benefit - it's been over a week since DWP told me it would be sorted out within seven days so that's something else to chase up <sigh>.