Sports clubs - is there a requirement to disclose my son's disability?

Fire_Fox

mrs_sparrow wrote: »

I'll be honest FF, I have asked at school, I have asked the school PE teacher (who comes in from an outside group) after he told me my son was very good and strong, I called the British Paralympic Association - they told me to call British Gymnastics - I've tried to get 1:1 coaching but as we are club 'outsiders' they won't do it as 1:1 is generally for helping their squad get a skill up to par. I've tried the local council - the clubs they suggested I try I already had. I have a list from the local Disability Council Groups - the ones they told me to try I already had.

I honestly never thought of reporting any of them but I am going to start over again and am going to see if I can get my son's coach to write him a reference for when I apply to these groups and if they reject him I AM going to report them all.

Maybe try the Special Olympics, I *think* ASD would fall under that not Paralympics which is physical disabilities. Maybe try the council again, have the person responsible for disability doing the contacting for you, since you have been stonewalled. As I say that is what you pay council tax for IMO.

mrs_sparrow wrote: »

To be honest, I did think that if I started him in a disabled group they would move him to the mainstream group when they saw his abilities and that he is not aggressive/etc... and his disability did not affect his ability*. I know that everyone boasts about their children but everyone that has taught him casual gymnastics cannot believe the abilities he has for a boy of his size. However, I need that foot in the door and there are no clubs under my own council that have a club offering disabled gymnastics (they are certainly not on the BG website), I have to go into the next county for this.

*ETA: I do not know if that makes me sound a bit naive and stupid. I was just hoping it would be a foot in the door to have his potential recognised.

You aren't saying anything unreasonable, it's the clubs that are being unreasonable. Would the people who have taught your son so far so know his abilities and that he is not 'difficult' be willing to make some calls to the clubs that are stonewalling you?

thegirlintheattic

mrs_sparrow wrote: »

Here we go again with the assumption that son is aggressive and has behaviour problems. My son does not throw or kick furniture, he runs away and hides if he cannot cope with things. These are what we call our meltdowns - every child with a disability is different. Of course they don't know this because no-one actually bothers to call me back to ask. Like you they assume that all children with ADHD have 'behavioural issues'.

I do completely understand but my son cannot progress anywhere as the big clubs will not have him to help him progress.

Boredom is not going to help him progress it is going to put him off the sport altogether - it is not about repetition at all, you misunderstand. It is about reaching a level and then progressing onto a higher level, surely?? Would you pay for your son to learn how to kick a ball but never send him to a club that will let him a play a football match?? And what if your child really good at kicking a ball but was constantly being turned down by club after club??

My son (because of his ASD) is a perfectionist and will carry on doing something until he gets it right - when he gets it right over and over though there is nothing else to move onto as the bigger clubs have the proper equipment. My son is at the highest level he can be at this club he is at now - he needs to progress, but where to.....?

They also have lots of different levels at gymnastics clubs - the one he goes to has one level - everybody's.

Disabled children should have the same right as anyone else to be able to go to out of school clubs.

I do not assume all kids with ADHD are aggressive. I've worked, and work, with many kids with all kinds of disabilities. I was merely given an example. Running away and hiding is likely going to be a problem in anything but a amateur group, unless it's 1:1 coaching. I may be misunderstanding your aim but if you feel your DS is going to progress onto senior/elite level and possibly compete regionally/nationally you need to understand how the clubs work; there is simply no room for running off and you'd be expected to travel more than an hour to get to places if needed. I also understand labels and stereotypes which is why I suggested you explain the things your DS has difficulty with instead of just he has ASD/ADHD.

Savvy_Sue

mrs_sparrow wrote: »

I do not leave him anywhere, every club he goes to I stay, if there is a problem I deal with it, if he is having a bad day, we leave. Thankfully, the other parents at these clubs we go to are understanding of the condition he has.

When my boys were dancing, parents weren't encouraged to stay in the hall, and when we had swimming lessons parents were banished to the balcony.

I don't know what's 'normal' for gym and the like, but if you're intent on staying with him, I think you need to disclose the problems. But, as already suggested, you need to portray them as positively as you can.

liney

tiamai_d wrote: »

Just not in your childs club incase the disabled child 'kicked off' yeah?

Backtracking much?

Like it or not, if it's an expensive out of school club it is not ok for half of the session to be taken up by one child. If the rest of the children don't 'get what they pay for' they will be withdrawn and the club will cease.

If a person is not able to merge with the group, then they need to attend a group specific to their needs. If there are not more suitable groups already running in the area (ours is called something like, I can too) then speaking to the Local Authority about making a provision is the next step.

rpc

liney wrote: »

Like it or not, if it's an expensive out of school club it is not ok for half of the session to be taken up by one child. If the rest of the children don't 'get what they pay for' they will be withdrawn and the club will cease.

If a person is not able to merge with the group, then they need to attend a group specific to their needs. If there are not more suitable groups already running in the area (ours is called something like, I can too) then speaking to the Local Authority about making a provision is the next step.

And yet clubs are obliged by statute to make reasonable adjustments to accomodate disabilities. Permitting a parent to stay, so that any issues do not take coaches away from the rest of the group, sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

There are certain disabilities that our club cannot accomodate without spending large sums of money (amputees/paraplegics are the main group that we have had interest from that we cannot cater for). We are quite open with that when we get enquiries from those groups and we point them to somewhere they can get the required equipment and support. We have never had a problem. Financially crippling the club is not the intention of the DDA.

Most so-called disabilities need small (or no adjustments). Athsma is a common one (it is classed as a disability if serious enough) - that just needs the coach to be aware and pay attention. We have one kid with limited vision - OK as long as they are never alone or in charge of a group. Behavioural disorders are another one, although we haven't knowingly seen it in a wee while. The best solution to them tends to be involving the parent. None of this is unreasonable - therefore it is legally required.

Funding bodies currently have two real hobby horses. Child protection is one, equality is the other. Any funded group must have policies for these and must follow the policies. Reports that certain groups are unreasonably being denied access would not go down well. I recently completed a child protection audit of our governing body (under another role I have) - the funding bodies are really serious about this stuff and will threaten, then pull, funding if everything is not being done correctly.

liney

rpc wrote: »

And yet clubs are obliged by statute to make reasonable adjustments to accomodate disabilities. Permitting a parent to stay, so that any issues do not take coaches away from the rest of the group, sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

There are certain disabilities that our club cannot accomodate without spending large sums of money (amputees/paraplegics are the main group that we have had interest from that we cannot cater for). We are quite open with that when we get enquiries from those groups and we point them to somewhere they can get the required equipment and support. We have never had a problem. Financially crippling the club is not the intention of the DDA.

Most so-called disabilities need small (or no adjustments). Athsma is a common one (it is classed as a disability if serious enough) - that just needs the coach to be aware and pay attention. We have one kid with limited vision - OK as long as they are never alone or in charge of a group. Behavioural disorders are another one, although we haven't knowingly seen it in a wee while. The best solution to them tends to be involving the parent. None of this is unreasonable - therefore it is legally required.

Funding bodies currently have two real hobby horses. Child protection is one, equality is the other. Any funded group must have policies for these and must follow the policies. Reports that certain groups are unreasonably being denied access would not go down well. I recently completed a child protection audit of our governing body (under another role I have) - the funding bodies are really serious about this stuff and will threaten, then pull, funding if everything is not being done correctly.

I take on board everything you say, but it still won't stop parents withdrawing their children if they are not 'getting their monies worth'.

You talk about funding, but the many of my local clubs are ran by volunteers who pay the pitch fees with subs (I have experience of football and cricket) so no kids, no subs, no subs, no club.

I conceed that gym probably isn't ran by volunteers in this way, but people are still likely to vote with their feet when a leisure activity is being disrupted.

rpc

liney wrote: »

I take on board everything you say, but it still won't stop parents withdrawing their children if they are not 'getting their monies worth'.

Any half-competent group should be able to accomodate most people without disrupting the rest of the class/team/group. It does take a little effort to plan (and believe me, I know how badly volunteers' time is stretched in most clubs) but once you find a solution then it should just tick along with little effort and minimal disruption.

If you go the whole hog for disabled sport (i.e serious adaptations compared to 'normal' sessions), then you would probably compromise the group for other people. But most who go down that road become specialist groups.

Why is a kid with ADHD or ASD seen as detrimental and must be banned, when spoilt brats and prima donnas can cause far more disruption in most cases? No club I know asks parents if their kids fall into either of those categories.

There are going to be times when ADHD and the like do disrupt things for others (like the beavers case I described earlier) and the organisers need to take steps to prevent that. Our group of about 20 beavers had one ADHD kid and one with Downs while I helped there. Once the ADHD issue was sorted, we had little or no trouble. The Downs boy only posed a problem when he got too big and it became a safety issue (we kept him in Beavers well past the normal age because he couldn't cope with cubs). Then we had to, regrettably, ask him to leave because his presence was a problem for the rest.

Too many people (probably including those running the clubs OP looked at) see all sorts of stories and assume that everyone who has some small difference to 'normal' must be an absolute terror. Ignorance starts to drive decisions. If anyone stopped to look at reality, they would probably be a whole lot less scared. Councils, governing bodies, etc could do a whole lot more to help educate people. As long as the idea that anyone who has something like ADHD, ASD, any other issue, is 'special' then people will believe that they need 'special' treatment. While some kids are undoubtedly 'special', most are simply 'a bit different.'

liney

Ok, so if a child with ADHD can't/won't listen and follow Coaches' instructions, then does s/he do whatever s/he pleases and distrupts the group, or is he subject to the same 'behave of leave' policy that everyone else is?

I know this doesn't apply to the OP as her son reacts differently, but just out of interest.

rpc

liney wrote: »

Ok, so if a child with ADHD can't/won't listen and follow Coaches' instructions, then does s/he do whatever s/he pleases and distrupts the group, or is he subject to the same 'behave of leave' policy that everyone else is?

I know this doesn't apply to the OP as her son reacts differently, but just out of interest.

As far as I am concerned, yes, unless another adjustment can reasonably be made. If having the parents there moderates behaviour, then that would be fine. But ultimately, if it is a choice between serious disruption or getting rid of the disruptor, then the offending child should be removed (whether they are ADHD or not, ASD or not, rich, poor, black, white, pink, purple, have PMT, spoilt brat or bully). ADHD and so on are explanations for bad behaviour, but not excuses that grant immunity.

mrs_sparrow

Hi all,

Well, good news. I just wanted to let you know that my son is booked in for a trial session at a gym on Monday morning. I was surprised they had spaces but yes, not a problem at all.

It's not local but this gym also offers disability gymnastics so if he finds the main structured sessions a problem, he can then go into the other sessions where there are more coaches per child ratio and be able to give assistance if required.

This gym also has squad and intensive training so IF he has the potential to go further he can be pushed to do so. He will be in a group of boys of the same age (he was always put in with mixed sex pre-schoolers at the other place and they only did floor work - hence the frustration) and if he is more able than them he will be moved up. He will be doing ring work, bars and vault and the exercises will be for boys. It finally feels like we are onto a start here.

I have sat my son down this morning and explained the new gym to him, he is nervous because it is new, not local and we will have to drive a way to get there - but he is going to give it a try. Fear of the unknown is the worst thing. There was no continuity of the coaches at the other place either so it would be whatever teenager they were assigned to that week.

I did tell them about his conditions and I explained he would be medicated but it will obviously be a strange environment for him and he might take a while for him to settle and they just asked me to stay, which I said I would definitely be doing anyway. I explained about the little club he was currently had and that our local one I named them, they were not impressed) and they was not interested in taking him and his coach wanted him to progress etc.... and they genuinely seemed interested.

Fingers crossed.

Thank you for all of your help and views, they have been really useful.

I just wanted to say though, I think that I SHOULD tell the clubs he attends and give them forewarning however I am tired of coming up against the prejudice and assumptions that comes with these conditions which is why I initially asked the question about whether I should tell them. I feel better in myself that a club is forewarned - if they have 2 coaches, one who is experienced with SN and another that is not, my son then gets allocated the coach that is more suited to him.