Devious Auntie influencing elderly Grandfather

NAR

Something that doesn't seem to have been considered here - the grandfather may have asked aunt to write out the list that is causing a lot of concern.

euronorris

But why did the other family members stop helping out? Were they pushed out by Aunty, or did Gramps tell them to stop, or did they just dwindle down the visits of their own accord? We don't know.

As NAR pointed out, Gramps could've asked the Aunty to prepare that list. Just because it favours her more now, doesn't mean that she manipulated him or is forcing him. I agree it's worth checking out, but you just don't know at this point.

And if he didn't want the other siblings to inherit anything, it would make sense that he gets jumpy about them possibly seeing the new will (IF there is one).

We have no idea why the aunty is snubbing the family. There could've been a family feud, or Gramps could've been complaining about her siblings not treating him well, or could just be PERCEIVED and not actually happening.

The rest is speculation on the OP's part, and 'feelings'. Again, that could all be down to family arguments.

As for the first inheritence - again, we don't know nearly enough! It could've been a family feud, that deeply upset both the father and grandfather. We just don't know.

I'm not going to condemn a woman on so little information and a lot of speculation.

To me, it's sounding more like a family feud.

floss2

OP, have you considered speaking to Age UK about this situation?

Bufger

I hate it when people argue over someone's will and how it came about. A similar thing is happening In my family and It makes me sick to think after all these years some people are more possession and money driven than caring.

I'm going to split everything 50/50 to my kids no matter how they treat me or the wife. At the first sign of an appeal the lot goes to charity and they both get nothing. I'll make sure they know this

andy.m_2

if OP hasnt see "before and after" list then it is heresay.
Very quickly in situations like this people can get very paranoid and start jum,ping to conclusions, "gramps is jumpy about people leaving the sitting room", maybe he wanted to talk some more and was worried other relative was about to leave?

2 sides and all that, so little to go on and ALL OF IT 3rd hand.

The only thing that is true here, is that money brings out the worst in people like nothing else and be honest OP, the others are worried about their inheritence otherwise they would be happy that gramps is getting so much company and attention, whatever so the motive.

Mojisola

andy.m wrote: »

the others are worried about their inheritence otherwise they would be happy that gramps is getting so much company and attention, whatever so the motive.

It's too simplistic to say that. If the new person on the scene is manipulating the grandfather to cut everyone else out of his life (and will), why should she be left to do that?

There isn't enough evidence to know either way at the moment but I wouldn't ignore the situation if it was happening in my family.

delain

This is all sad

I hope the grandpa isn't picking up on all the animosity (but if he's 'jumpy' he probably.has) thing is you can't really approach the aunty as she will go to hum with her version of events.

I have a distant relative who recently died and left everything to a certain charity because he liked the ladies in their charity shop. As far as I know no one is squabbling about this, because it was his to do what he wanted with although I gather he was always a stubborn old soul

mrcow

Bufger wrote: »

I hate it when people argue over someone's will and how it came about. A similar thing is happening In my family and It makes me sick to think after all these years some people are more possession and money driven than caring.

I'm going to split everything 50/50 to my kids no matter how they treat me or the wife. At the first sign of an appeal the lot goes to charity and they both get nothing. I'll make sure they know this

Unless you die first and the the wife can then do what she wants with it?

Yorkie1

Is the grandfather still mentally competent to (re-)make his will anyway? (Not presuming he isn't; just asking the question).

If there are concerns on that score, getting the GP involved might be useful.

duchy

Of course Gramps may have seen that Auntie took such good care of his son -and wants to be well looked after too and as the rest of the family never visit...or when they do only want to ask about his will ...that he's ASKED Auntie to fend them off as he finds their money grabbing ways distasteful....and is afraid they will rummage through his stuff when visiting.

OP Exactly HOW often do you visit Gramps-do his shopping, take him for a meal or a day out etc ?

I've not even heard Auntie's side just yours OP and my flesh is crawling at the thought of your poor Grandfather and the lousy way his other children and grandchildren are behaving.

My Dad's sister left her money to me and my brother-I was off seeing the world and didn't see her as often as my brother did as he went to school near her and visited at least once a week. She left the lionshare of her money to my brother and left me just £3000. I wasn't upset or resentful or jealous-it was her money to do with as she saw fit and I appreciated what she had left me (paid for my honeymoon ) and didn't "expect" or feel entitled to anything.

I actually don't even know the amount she left him -although it was enough to fund a very sizeable deposit on a house and left him with a tiny mortgage but I wasn't even curious -wasn't my business.