Adoption

Caroline_a

You were obsessed back in January with having a new baby. You are using

Poor poor kids in the world lacking a loving family

to hide behind YOUR needs - and by doing that you are totally ignoring your own children's needs. You appear to have already discussed this with your eldest, which, I'm sorry I find appalling. She is still a child and she doesnt need to know about you yearning over children on the opposite side of the world that you think you (and only you) can save!

Ive seen costs of between £15000 and £50000 quoted for adopting babies like this - I presume you have that sort of money lying around before you embark on this? Also it can take up to 4 years from some countries for adoption. Please be sensible about this. We all want things we can't have, just be grateful with what you have already.

kelpie35

have you thought about fostering.

I have not read any of your other threads so not aware of the problems that already exist.

Person_one

darlyd wrote: »

Not selfish but thinking of other kids who without people like us will grow up in care homes, maybe abused and un happy.

My DH was adopted if that helps...

Eldest is up for a new sibling if that helps...

Forget about this, there's no way it will happen no matter how much you want it to, focus on the children you have.

memoryoftrees

Hi

I looked quite seriously into adoption.

No one should ever, ever adopt a child because they want to give a mistreated boy or girl a "good home" or at least that should not be the primary reason. Adoption should be done in a sense for selfish reasons - the very same reasons that would lead you to conceive a child of your own in fact.

It is not a cure-all and nor is it an easy route to take - hugely rewarding certainly but difficult.

You have a lot of sentimentality in your posts and I'm sorry to say, others are right. You are not adopting a dog or a cat, this is a person with (probably) hugely complex needs who will impact massively on you and your family.

I suppose what I am trying to say is you should adopt because you want a child, not out of pity!

x

merlot123

http://www.bemyparent.org.uk/info-for-families/your-questions/can-i-adopt-from-abroad,224,AR.html?gclid=CO6cq_yM2bECFfMdtAodIH4AUw

I think personally you should concentrate on your existing family, you have alot on working full time, a child with potential AHAD and other children.

I have posted a link, it looks like you would need to be approved by a UK adoption agency who uses SS to do the assessments.

You have your heart in the right place,maybe you could sponsor a child or two, that would help greatly, I can't see adoption happening for you.

Spamfree_2

kelpie35 wrote: »

have you thought about fostering.

I have not read any of your other threads so not aware of the problems that already exist.

Cripes, that would be just as bad!:eek:

milliebear00001

Quite apart from the moral issues that other posters have mentioned, I would think, given your oldest child's involvement with SS, that you have zero chance of being approved for adoption, or fostering.

Either have another baby, or suppress this desire until it fades.

Dunroamin

Person_one wrote: »

Forget about this, there's no way it will happen no matter how much you want it to, focus on the children you have.

I agree. From what you've written before you just won't be cleared for adoption. Sorry.

gingin_2

darlyd wrote: »

We have 2 dogs.

I have read through my past embarrassing posts argh.

I've read many of your previous posts and answered some. I am really not sure why you would find them embarrassing?

What I gathered when I read them was that you were going through seriously stressful times that involved a lot of emotional angst involving all of your family at points. It sounds like you are trivialising all of those posts (which were some of the most worrying I have read on here) by calling them embarrassing.

Do you have a Sure Start near you? Ours are always calling out for volunteers.

mountainofdebt

Please don't.

It's not fair to bring a child, who will no doubt have alot of emotional baggage with them, into a mix that at best is calming down but at worst is likely to erupt this time next week when your eldest has a hissy fit about something or another.

How can you cut down your hours anyway if you're studying - aren't the hours fixed to a certain extent?

If you feel the need to give a child a better start in life then google orphanages in whatever part of the world takes your fancy and then spend your time raising money for it...and if your eldest is so up for the idea, get her involved as well. That way you won't just be helping one child you'll be helping a whole bunch of them