Child Contact Help

MJMum

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MJMum

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MXW

MJMum wrote: »

Are they not his kids too then?

Please do not send me personal messages saying "I bet thats what you say, my kids". Just to clarify YES I DO CALL THEM MY KIDS. I think I have a right to say that considering my ex lives minutes away and has nothing to do with the kids for the last 5 years (since they were 2 and 5) and have had to witness him punching me in the face and splitting my eye open whilst I was feeding my youngest on my lap...............so yes THEY ARE MY KIDS!!

MJMum

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zztopgirl

You are allowed a 'mackenzie friend', someone to come into court with you as support. Im not too sure on the exact details, but hopefully you havent left it too late to get advice before you go into court on monday. I was going to have someone from victim support to be my m.f. and from what i can remember, they are not allowed to speak for you in court but you can discuss things with them as if they were your lawyer, if you see what i mean.

Hope this helps. Also, point your feet towards the judge when you are in the witness box, when you are answering questions from the sol, face the judge as you answer cos you are speaking to him not the sol. I still lost but it does help to make you feel stronger.

Be strong.

Zara33

MJMum wrote: »

Are they not his kids too then?

:eek: now it doesn't happen very often but i do actually agree with you on this point.

thesaint

zztopgirl wrote: »

You are allowed a 'mackenzie friend', someone to come into court with you as support. Im not too sure on the exact details, but hopefully you havent left it too late to get advice before you go into court on monday. I was going to have someone from victim support to be my m.f. and from what i can remember, they are not allowed to speak for you in court but you can discuss things with them as if they were your lawyer, if you see what i mean.

Hope this helps. Also, point your feet towards the judge when you are in the witness box, when you are answering questions from the sol, face the judge as you answer cos you are speaking to him not the sol. I still lost but it does help to make you feel stronger.

Be strong.

You are right about the Mackenzie friend, I don't know if they can be introduced at such a late stage, but I would try.
If the OP chooses this route, it is extremely important that the Macenzie friend is not going to fly off the handle and 'fight the cause', it would do more harm than good.
If in doubt, leave em out.

I was never in a 'Witness box', I sat at a table, very friendly, but tense due to the nature of the proceedings being discussed.

pippamannequin

I just want to send you my hugs and good wishes, be brave, be strong. x

I've been in this situation, I had an ex who was imprisonned for what he did to me, eventually allowed supervised access and then when i re-married and my new mother in law decided she didnt like me she got together with my ex and decided that a good way to 'get her son to leave me' was to go to court backing my ex for residence of my kids. (Think pauline fowler and then imagine 10 times worse).
The battle was just that, the lies were something out of a best selling novel, however, because they were lies, shattering as they may have been, they were quashable, i just had to stay strong.
My kids were terrified of losing me as i was them throughout because lies rip you at the heart, for a non-liar, it's hard to comprehend such malisciousness, but believe that you are in the right and you are fighting, yes fighting for your kids to know that.
As with everything, be yourself and true to yourself, the judges HAVE seen it all before, they do see through lies, they certainly did in my case even when i thought no one would. Take care. x

grey_lady

Thankfully most of the replies here have been informative and supportive.
Ignore the rest. Especially those who say 'Arent they his kids to'
that's crap, any abusive ex who is currently locked up loses his right to be called 'father'

nearlyrich

I went to court without legal representation for financial matters, I was working and just had enough to live on not enought to pay a solicitor. I probably got away with saying things that a solicitor would have been in big trouble for, one of my points was dismissed as hearsay, it was true but I hadn't brought any proof to court and his solicitor objected.

Anyway good luck and you should hold your head high, your children have at least one parent who is willing to be responsible for their welfare.