Weekly Flylady Thread 30th July 2012

funfairprincess

Hi all
I have a working boiler nananana hey!
Not much done here just WM, line drying, TD, general tidy up and dinner. Will do better tomorrow OH has the day off from work and I have a huge list of jobs for him to do!!!!!
See you all in the morning Laters!

dragonette

Hey all,

Sorry for being MIA last week, after I got home I found out that OH had terrible week with BD visiting (and coming off the meds for it) and couldn't do his share of the flying before I got back. He hadn't felt able to tell me as he kept hoping he would catch up. I then totally gave up on th flat, still didn't get to see OH as the meds are still messing up his sleep a week after stopping them - on sat he slept till 4.30pm.

Felt too guilty to even read the thread till today, and now feel like crying as I know how bad the flat will be when I get bk tomoro evening. And its really depressing the reason I started on here was because I couldn't face the chaos on my own anymore. And we will have visitors within 2 hours of me getting home.

I had a spa morning voucher that my mum and I used last week so at least I have pretty purple nails to keep me happy. Goin to splash out and use some savings to get things to keep my nails looking good, also finished 2 craft projects this week - can I count that as flying?

Lots of hugs and sticks, feel free to help yourself

There seems to be lots of newbies now Many thanks to Juliejim and Dusty for the lists, its a massive help.

kazwookie

Evening

Work done
2 x ebay posted
WM done
TD on
Hoovering done

Have a good evening

bossymoo

Oh dear, I'm afraid I'm logging on to have a blub and offload my troubles.

DS (3.5) have just shouted down for me, that he is sad. I came up and he's been crying. Asked what he's been crying for, and he said the dark made him sad, and he needed mummy. So, he's come in my room, and climbed into bed. I'm brushing my teeth, and he says "but I miss daddy" well of course this gets me every time. He said "it's a long way to heaven and he can't get back I think he's lost". So I explained he's not lost, heaven is his home now, and that's where you go when you die. He said "I don't want to get lost, it's dark". Poor little lamb.

So we've had a little cry together, and I've told him he won't get lost, and nor will his sister, and nor will I. Because we stay together, and mummy looks after you, and won't leave you.

No matter how bad I think I feel about losing him, the pain is 1000 times worse seeing how bad it makes my babies feel. My little boy is scared. Of dying, of me dying. It's so unfair he should have to feel like that, so young. I want to scream. I want to make it all go away.

Sorry for dumping it all here. Everyone at home just wants to see us coping.

X

Mrs_Bee

Oh bossymoo - sending lots of hugs to you and both the children. I don't really know what to say - can't even begin to imagine being in your situation - but didn't want to read and not post.

It's good that you talk to DS about his daddy and keep his memory alive - he'll be so grateful of that when he's older. But you're right - it IS unfair and I'm so sorry that you and your little ones are having to go through this. I know nothing anyone says can change things or make it go away but please don't apologise for posting about your feelings here. This thread is a great place and I for one am happy to read about other people's difficult times if it helps them at all to get it all out.

Finally, I'm sure people at home don't "just want to see you coping" but I do understand that it can be difficult to speak to people around you/ask for help especially when they're grieving too. I hope you can find someone - be it family, friends or even your GP if necessary - to talk to and help support you through the most difficult times. You're doing a fantastic job with your DS and DD and keeping going with work and the house but you don't have to be strong all the time, I'm sure nobody expects that.

Look after yourself. ((((Hugs)))

Mrs_Bee

mumofjusttwo

Have not posted on hear for a long time but was reading your post Bossymoo. It so difficult to stay strong for the child. I lost my sister 6 years ago and my XH lost his gf 2 years ago and this affected my daughter and she always worries that I am going to die when I am young.



So many times I have had to,tell her that I do not have any intention on ging anywhere. She has seen so much death in her young life that I do not feel that I can say I am not going to die but think that what I say does comfort her.

Being there for your children is what counts and I think it is got for them to know that you get upset with it too.


Apologies for taking up thread space but did not want to read and run

I only lost my sister not my husband and children's father so it must be so much harder for you to manage.


You are there for your child and that is so important

pigpen

Lovely to see you mumofjusttwo .. I hoped you werel lurking

Bossy..That is heartbreaking to read so for it to be fromyour baby must be awful.. at least he does feel he can talk about his daddy which is a good thing. My childrens dad lost his dad when he was 5, his brother was 6 and his sister 14months and it was awful for them growing up,their mum spent years running away and moving house every year or 2 as it gave her something to occupy herself instead of stewing, and grieving. What she didn't see was how the children were affected,changing towns and schools and homes..and in the 70's being a single parent made you a social outcast and there was a lot of prejudice.. Don't feel you have to appear to be 'coping' just to appease everyone else.. you should never be anything other than exactly what and who you are. HUUUUGE hugs for the 3 of you xx

DD2's lappy isn't seeing the router either...I fear it may be a router issue.. thankfully we got a new one this morning,I just have to persuade OH to set it up now

Valli

Bossy - many children go through a panic time when they 'suddenly' realise people die...usually it happens a little later that 3.5 years old. But a death in the family/circle can bring it on unexpectedly and especially a death of a not old person IYSWIM

The times I have had to talk to a child going through this I have always done my utmost to reassure them that the people we love don't always choose/wish/want to leave us, but sometimes their bodies just cannot carry on, so they have to go.

It is never easy and must be doubly hard for you; I expect those around you hope you are coping but I hope that they realise you really are bearing a burden you will sometimes need help with. I hope that help is there for you when you need it.

juliejim

Huge hugs bossymoo - you are allowed to be upset and blub. You can come on here anytime to get things of your chest and you can always send me a pm if you want someone to talk to.

Goodintentions

Just popped on to say huge ((((hugs)))) to Bossymoo. You are so brave, and an inspiration to all of us, but that doesn't mean it is easy. Like others have said, at least you talk to your children and don't just fob them off because they are 'too young' to understand. They will thank you for it when they are older, and they will know who they are and who their dad was. some are not as lucky to have a mum like you.

Ok. Club account banking is ready (still short, but i give up for now. i am hoping to find an envelope of change somewhere )
i am going to bed now. Night night all x