Is it appropriate to send a "Get Well Soon" Card to a cancer sufferer?

luxor4t

My husband is being treated for colon cancer.He has received a whole mantlepiece of cards, most saying "Get well soon". He has appreciated every single one of the good wishes, even the jokey card he got on the day after he was told he'd need chemo.

miss_independent

Well, talk about "meant to be"! She has just updated her Facebook status to say how much she loves all her "Get Well Soon" cards and gifts so it's safe to send .

miss_independent

luxor4t wrote: »

My husband is being treated for colon cancer.He has received a whole mantlepiece of cards, most saying "Get well soon". He has appreciated every single one of the good wishes, even the jokey card he got on the day after he was told he'd need chemo.

Wishing him all the best, and you too x

KiKi

Assuming you know her and you feel it's right, then send it.

'Get Well Soon' can be a fabulous message, even if you're very ill, because it's nice to know that someone else out there believes you'll make it, and has hope for you.

I would only err on the side of caution if you feel she's the sort of person who won't take it well. But only you know that.

KiKi

hngrymummy

miss_independent wrote: »

To clarify we didn't fall out. She chose never to get back in contact with me after I became seriously ill and wasn't a "friend" to me once I wasn't able to get out and about socially. As with many friends at the time (bar one), I got tossed on the scrap heap once I was no fun anymore.

Unfortunately a lot of people just don't know how to deal with long-term illness, whether it be physical or mental. It may not necessarily have been that she didn't want to be friends, but that she didn't know how to be a friend. I'm not trying to excuse her actions, as they probably hurt you. I have a friend who suffers from, a long-term illness. A lot of her friends disappeared because they just didn't know how to be friends with her.

I think that a Get Well Soon card is not inappropriate. 'Soon' is all relative. 6 months for a cold is not 'soon', but for chemo it's reasonable.

pimento

rach29 wrote: »

I have recently been given the "all clear" after being diagnosed with cancer last Christmas. I got lots of get well cards & I very much appreciated them. In my opinion, if her treatment is deemed to be a "cure" then it's entirely appropriate to send a Get Well card.

I would hate to think people who didn't send cards refrained from doing so because they thought I wouldnt make it :eek:

Yes, this. A get well card is an acknowledgment that she will get well and is not a lost cause. I'd send it.

KateLiana27

As the cancer is treatable, "get well soon" is perfectly appropriate. You want her to get well, and as soon as she can! But then, I'm not the sort of person who analyses the poems inside greeting cards for innuendo and hidden meanings (hello, mum).

miss_independent

hngrymummy wrote: »

Unfortunately a lot of people just don't know how to deal with long-term illness, whether it be physical or mental. It may not necessarily have been that she didn't want to be friends, but that she didn't know how to be a friend. I'm not trying to excuse her actions, as they probably hurt you. I have a friend who suffers from, a long-term illness. A lot of her friends disappeared because they just didn't know how to be friends with her.

I think that a Get Well Soon card is not inappropriate. 'Soon' is all relative. 6 months for a cold is not 'soon', but for chemo it's reasonable.

I know, it definitely seems that some people just back off completely without a single word after years, even decades of friendship. It was a huge shock though. You just imagine friends will be there for you, maybe send you a card or at least a text, even if you don't know what to say, you can at least say "Sorry to hear that, thinking of you." You don't expect them to snub you or ignore you totally when you text (because you can't get out to see them). To make matters worse, as well as my physical health problems I ended up having a nervous breakdown (through my physical health problems limiting me, I felt like a failure and very alone) which they never knew about. Perhaps if I'd had someone, if I hadn't been so alone etc I wouldn't have had to go through that. I've learned that people can be very strange...

On the other hand, people that I hadnt known well and didn't feel I knew well enough to be "friends" have been marvellous. Even though I haven't seen them for about 9 months they regularly get in touch. Out of the blue in the past fortnight when they had heard I'd been through a particularly tough time for 10 weeks and was having lots of tests they clubbed together to send a lovely bouquet of flowers and some chocolates with a card saying they are thinking of me and miss me. A lady from church that I've only known for two years also sent flowers unexpectedly after finding out that I hadnt been out the door for three weeks. The same "new" friends text me every week just to say "hi, thinking of you and miss you". They offer to come round when I'm up to it. They avoid me when they have a cold (you might get a cold, I get pneumonia lol) even though I don't "go on" on about my health problems, they just are aware of some of my problems and want me to stay as healthy as I can. They put no pressure on me but say "when you are up to it, can I take you to lunch, or if you are scared you might pick something up, we could come to you?". Another friend writes letters to me, I only met her in November. They continue to invite me to things even though they know I might not be able to come, just so I don't feel left out. They are wonderful and have restored my faith in humanity.

Then there is the friend that texts me everyday and asks me "Are you better yet?" . I'm finding it really hard to deal with her at the moment because I keep telling her I'm waiting for results and to see if I've got a scary disease which could take 2 months to diagnose and several years to recover from and then she will text the next day saying "better yet?", of course though she means well...Still, maybe one day, I will be able to say "Yes! I'm cured.":j

Mrs_Ryan

This cancer patient who is in hospital at the moment appreciated both the get well soon and thinking of you cards I received

poet123

Mrs_Ryan wrote: »

This cancer patient who is in hospital at the moment appreciated both the get well soon and thinking of you cards I received

Sorry to hear that news Mrs R, I hope you are as OK as it is possible to be under the circumstances.