Is it appropriate to send a "Get Well Soon" Card to a cancer sufferer?

gingin_2

miss_independent wrote: »

Thanks all! Oh dear... More confused lol! To clarify, it IS thought to be curable (she certainly seems to think it is according to her sister and best friend) and the tumour will be removed after the first set of chemo, so it is believed she will "Get Well". It's more the soon part I'm concerned about as it this stage she has been told she will be having chemo for around six months to make sure it's all gone after the tumour is removed. The card is very cheery and positive with great words but alot of people seem to think its the wrong thing to send...

To clarify we didn't fall out. She chose never to get back in contact with me after I became seriously ill and wasn't a "friend" to me once I wasn't able to get out and about socially. As with many friends at the time (bar one), I got tossed on the scrap heap once I was no fun anymore. But that's not what this is about at all, I genuinely feel so sorry for her and wish her a speedy recovery. Part of me thinks a blank card, especially to a very young person, may make her think that I've written her off or something lol? Very confused but I don't want to ignore it. After all that's what happened to me and I was robbed of my health and 99% of my friends at that time. I wouldn't want that to happen to someone else, it's horrible.

You're her friend, you know better than any of us. If you feel confident then send the card you bought.

carefullycautious

I found a card with a nudist old couple on the front with the man pushing his wife in a wheelbarrow both starkers.

Wrote that my best wishes for a speedy recovery came from the old codgers at xxx

My friend said she laughed her socks off and it was just the tonic she needed at a really difficult time.

If you feel confident to do this a good laugh is always appreciated.

Im sure what ever you do it will be gratefully received.

Incapuppy

Yes I would send a blank card with a cheery/pretty picture with a few words telling her that you are thinking of her and wishing her well. I'm sure that will give her a boost. The truth is that some people do shy away as they simply don't know what to say and that can be quite hurtful too.

For the record I underwent 6 months of gruelling chemo in my mid thirties and I was very unwell for the whole duration. This year I can celebrate 10 years in remission

rach29

miss_independent wrote: »

I should add, I can't offer any practical help such as hoovering etc as every day is a struggle with my own health and I'm not getting out much at the moment due to risk of infection. So getting to the shops is also problematic. Sorry to be a pain!

You're not being a pain at all!! I think it's very admirable of you to have such kind thoughts towards this lady when she really hasn't treated you very well at all. It shows what a lovely person you are that you are still willing to reach out and send her your good wishes after what has gone before.

I'm sure she will appreciate the gesture (and maybe it will make her revisit her own behaviour)

I do hope your own health troubles will improve soon,

miss_independent

Incapuppy wrote: »

Yes I would send a blank card with a cheery/pretty picture with a few words telling her that you are thinking of her and wishing her well. I'm sure that will give her a boost. The truth is that some people do shy away as they simply don't know what to say and that can be quite hurtful too.

For the record I underwent 6 months of gruelling chemo in my mid thirties and I was very unwell for the whole duration. This year I can celebrate 10 years in remission

Fantastic, congratulations :T.





I've just shown card to my mum, a nurse and the "Queen of Sensitivity" lol. She studied it and thinks the words are perfect and, if she were me she would send it, she sees it as very cheery. Mum has, in the past, advised people that certain cards aren't appropriate so I do trust her but, on the other hand, the general consensus on here is go with a blank card... So unsure.

From my POV having a serious health condition comparing this and a blank card, I think I would find this more cheery and bright whilst having sensitive, kind words. A blank card, (just for me I'd add) I might think, "Oh no its come to this, they don't think I'm going to get better and they've bought me one of those, don't know what to say cards". But it may be that I'm different from most and that they would appreciate a blank card more than a get well soon card... maybe I should go with blank then.

rach29

Incapuppy wrote: »

Yes I would send a blank card with a cheery/pretty picture with a few words telling her that you are thinking of her and wishing her well. I'm sure that will give her a boost. The truth is that some people do shy away as they simply don't know what to say and that can be quite hurtful too.

For the record I underwent 6 months of gruelling chemo in my mid thirties and I was very unwell for the whole duration. This year I can celebrate 10 years in remission

That's wonderful :T:T
:T

LouLou

I agree with the blank card idea, or even a "Thinking Of You"/"To My Friend" sort of card, if you're unsure of the prognosis. Being available to talk and support her is much more important than sending a card.

Wishing her well and you're very thoughtful thinking of her feelings. I'm sure some people send "Get Well" cards and don't always realise.

miss_independent

rach29 wrote: »

You're not being a pain at all!! I think it's very admirable of you to have such kind thoughts towards this lady when she really hasn't treated you very well at all. It shows what a lovely person you are that you are still willing to reach out and send her your good wishes after what has gone before.

I'm sure she will appreciate the gesture (and maybe it will make her revisit her own behaviour)

I do hope your own health troubles will improve soon,

Thank you, I hope so too! I'm finding things extremely tough at the moment. Waiting for yet more test results and hoping against hope that it is curable and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Despite everything, I'd never ever wish what she is going through on anyone and though I've found some people do cut you out without reason when you become very ill, I could never ignore someone going through what she is going through.

duchy

I think as your friend has a positive prognosis and is young -a get well soon card is entirely appropriate...... if you didn't know the prognosis or if she was older -I agree the blank card might be the way to go.

I'd listen to your Mum -she's not only a Mum so always right but also works in the field so understands the issues.

bright_side

I think your card sounds perfect :T