Is it appropriate to send a "Get Well Soon" Card to a cancer sufferer?

miss_independent

A girl I went to school with/grew up with is in hospital having chemotherapy for what I understand to be a treatable (I.e not terminal) cancer. She is in her mid twenties and is a happy go lucky Peter Pan type (she is very much a little girl at heart) I feel extremely sad for her as she is going through such a tough time, obviously chemo is such a horrible treatment and she is in for a good six months at least of it from what I hear. I bought a card today which I'd like to send her to let her know I'm thinking of her (we lost touch over the years, not really my fault) but it does say "Get Well Soon" and I am worried this is insensitive and may upset her. Is it appropriate to send such a card?

The reason I picked it was a) because it's very girly and in her favourite colour, b) the Thinking of You cards all looked very morbid c) the verse inside is nice, it does refer to hoping she makes a speedy and full recovery and wishing her a happy and healthy future once she is better which is what I do wish for her, I just want her to recover so she can enjoy her life again. I know I could have got a blank card and wrote a message myself but I find it quite daunting knowing what to say to someone who has had such terrible news. I don't want to upset her even more or come across as insensitive. I'd also not want to have to write too much as we have lost touch, I was quite hurt at how it happened and I don't want her to think (if she didn't want me as a friend in the past) that i'm trying to "worm my way back in" and using her having cancer as an excuse to do that as I do actually just want her to know I'm thinking of her and want her to get better, nothing more in terms of a friendship etc. I feel the card I bought says the things I'd want to say whilst being quite a cheery card and positive. But is "Get Well Soon" a stupid thing to say to someone who will be having chemo for the best part of the year? I DO want her to get well soon so she can put this rotten time behind her.

gingin_2

I had this last year and bought a cheery card with no message and included a letter and some old photos of us I found.

I personally wouldn't send the get well soon, because there might be a chance that she wants to keep the prognosis to herself, although I hope that is not the case.

To add : This was the case for my friend. At the time no one knew it was terminal, except for very close family. I would have felt forever guilty if I had sent a get well card when it wasn't appropriate but definitely send a card.

cte1111

I think it's fine. It's always good to know that your friends are thinking of you and wishing you well.

Taadaa

I'm not sure to be honest.

If you think it might be misconstrued, I think I would leave it personally. It is a lovely thought and you want to do it to let her know you are thinking of her, but if there is a chance she might find it unwelcome it isn't going to help anyone.

She might think 'that's nice' and not give it a second thought as she has other things on her plate, but she might have changed considerably over the time that you have been out of touch.

duchy

My view would be good wishes are always appreciated so I'd be happy to recieve a card that is wishing me something so positive and the thing I'm wishing for myself-if I was facing 6 months chemo I'd be wanting to get well soon too . I personally think you're overthinking this -especially if she's a normal balanced girl and not a drama queen or one who finds offence in any little thing.

I don't agree you should leave it-People having chemo need support and to withold it because you aren't sure if Miss Manners would approve is a pretty lame and uncaring reason so I completely disagree with Taadaa. It's a bit like crossing the road to avoid a friend after her husband has died and you don't know what to say.

Artytarty

There are so many lovely blank cards available that I wouldnt risk it sending the get well soon one.

poet123

It is a very sensitive area and I would err on the side of caution, if you do send it now you will always wonder if it was right, you have a doubt so listen to your gut feeling.

There are loads of blank cards on which you can write a sensitive personal message I would go with one of those.

Nicki

There are certain situations where just signing a preprinted card is the wrong thing to do. And a blank card doesn't have to be filled with text, a well chosen sentence will do just as well. I personally wouldn't risk a Get Well card but would pick a blank card and just write in it what you've said here: that you were sorry when you fell out and when you heard her news, you just wanted to let her know that you were thinking about her and rooting for a full and swift recovery for her.

rach29

I have recently been given the "all clear" after being diagnosed with cancer last Christmas. I got lots of get well cards & I very much appreciated them. In my opinion, if her treatment is deemed to be a "cure" then it's entirely appropriate to send a Get Well card.

I would hate to think people who didn't send cards refrained from doing so because they thought I wouldnt make it :eek:

Personally I think its a lovely thing for you to get back in touch and let her know you are thinking of her. If you are able, I'm sure an offer of practical help would go down well too. For example taking round a prepared meal, or offerring to run the Hoover round. Chemo can be very debilitating & energy levels can be very low so practical help is invaluable.

Also, just a bit of company can be wonderful, if you can pop round to see her. Illness can be quite isolating, especially if it's long term.

Wishing your friend a speedy recovery.

hazellc

I think it's fine, and she'll be happy you thought of her.

poet123

rach29 wrote: »

I have recently been given the "all clear" after being diagnosed with cancer last Christmas[/B]. I got lots of get well cards & I very much appreciated them. In my opinion, if her treatment is deemed to be a "cure" then it's entirely appropriate to send a Get Well card.

I would hate to think people who didn't send cards refrained from doing so because they thought I wouldnt make it :eek:

Personally I think its a lovely thing for you to get back in touch and let her know you are thinking of her. If you are able, I'm sure an offer of practical help would go down well too. For example taking round a prepared meal, or offerring to run the Hoover round. Chemo can be very debilitating & energy levels can be very low so practical help is invaluable.

Also, just a bit of company can be wonderful, if you can pop round to see her. Illness can be quite isolating, especially if it's long term.

Wishing your friend a speedy recovery.

Good news!!:j:j