Partner lying, defensive, what would you do?

weepingtree

hmmmm, I know that second best scenario, long story but needless to say it hurts and it will keep on hurting, so please think about only yourself and take the first opportunity to leave.

If you were my friend I would give you a bed in a heartbeat xx

cottonhead

Sorry to hear what has happended but he clearly has feelings for this other woman, lied to you, cheated on you and then verbally abused you and tried to blame you for his wrongdoing. He is the one to blame not you and its good you found the strength to leave now before you get even more hurt. You probably feel rubbish right now but time will heal and you will find someone who deserves you. Be strong and put this behind you.

thehappybutterfly

He's a horrible horrible person. You say you're back in the house and you've nowhere to go? Why don't you kick him out and he can go live with his ex?

Rev

As hard as it is, you absolutely need to kick him out.

Never settle for second best and never let yourself be the second best somebody is settling for.

You deserve better, everyone deserves someone who loves, respects and wants to be with them and no one else.

He still loves his ex, he's go back in a heartbeat, so tell him to go because quite frankly if he doesn't value what he has, he doesn't deserve it.

You deserve better.

balletshoes

so OP, you've called your parents/a friend and asked them if you can stay with them from next week when you get some money, yes?

If my grown-up daughter needed my help, once I found out, I'd be on my way to get her, 300 miles is doable in a few hours.

paddy's_mum

Hiddenidenity wrote: »

I was stupid and should know that because she left him...

Sadly, it looks as though you've found out exactly why she was willing to let him go and left him.

Painful though it is, and assuming (as I do) that she knew he was now with you, perhaps your best course of action is to leave the cheating pair of them to it. He has now proved that he is a liar and a cheat and she is welcome to him!

Do you really need to waste years of your life wondering if he really is working overtime/down the pub with his mates/at the football match - doubts of that kind are corrosive and will eventually damage you very deeply.

I'm sorry for your unhappiness. Good luck.

Padstow

balletshoes wrote: »

so OP, you've called your parents/a friend and asked them if you can stay with them from next week when you get some money, yes?

If my grown-up daughter needed my help, once I found out, I'd be on my way to get her, 300 miles is doable in a few hours.

Me too balletshoes or if no transport send money by paypal, bank transfer or Western Union to get a train ticket. The belongings can get sorted later.

Ask someone in your family to send you money Now OP.

I can tell you from experience that you cannot live with a liar and be happy. Cheats are always liars, you have to lie in order to cheat remember.

Get out today.

skylight

1. Talk to your family ASAP, even if just for a short term loan for the coach back to them. My DD ran away to Bradford leaving me with her baby son, she didn't talk to anyone here for weeks and refused to take calls. She made one call to me that simply said "Hello, I need to come home" and the money was in her account within 10mins. Most famillies would think the same, so talk to them ASAP.

2. When you are off the phone to them, go into the Bank on the way and have your name removed from the account. Do it in writing too there and then. As there is zero in the account and no debt (I assume) the bank should be able to take you off. This is important to cuts ties and prevent things potentially getting worse in the future.

Barneysmom

Go home, you'll never be happy where you are.

Padstow

skylight wrote: »

1. Talk to your family ASAP, even if just for a short term loan for the coach back to them. My DD ran away to Bradford leaving me with her baby son, she didn't talk to anyone here for weeks and refused to take calls. She made one call to me that simply said "Hello, I need to come home" and the money was in her account within 10mins. Most famillies would think the same, so talk to them ASAP.

2. When you are off the phone to them, go into the Bank on the way and have your name removed from the account. Do it in writing too there and then. As there is zero in the account and no debt (I assume) the bank should be able to take you off. This is important to cuts ties and prevent things potentially getting worse in the future.

Agree with everything and the story of your daughter has made me cry. You are as a mother should be. :A
Just a note on the bank though as I tried it myself. They will in effect freeze the account so he cannot get an overdraft etc, but they won't in my experience remove one name without both signatures. I was married so that may make a difference.