Urgent Court of Protection Application help please - worried

troubleinparadise

Hello Lozz,

Good to hear that your mum has improved - miracles can happen!

Also pleased to hear that the Council were ok with you re giving notice. Let's hope that your problems with finances are small ones.

Good luck also for your idea about bringing mum home - I'm sure if you ask SS there are possibilities re home care, and try asking about Macmillan Nurses via the GP perhaps? It is also possible to have such things as hospital-type beds and other equipment at home if that would make things easier for your mum to come to you.

You are a good daughter and I'm sure your Mum appreciates all your help! :A

Lozz

Hi Neverenough,

You are right the steroids have worked wonders, I know it's a short term solution but while she's so well and able to express her feelings I need to find out what is right for her, and bringing her home to us is the right thing for her. We have spoken three times to staff and management at the home, last night she got a funny looking fishcake thing, two quarters of sandwich and ice cream served on primary school sized plates. My OH asked for extra food and got two extra quarters of sandwich!

Unfortunately we can't have Mum home for a few nights to test it out as we have to adapt our dining room and that is exactly what OH is doing at the moment. She's coming home. My concience couldn't stand it knowing she went in a place where she is so unhappy. She is also under our local hospice so when things deteriorate to a degree we can't cope anymore she will be transferred there. We have had her home twice for the afternoon and she's so happy here, I want that for her for the time she has left.

troubleinparadise, I am going to get on to everyone I can tomorrow as is OH, we already have a portaloo here that Mum uses when she is here, the hospital mentioned a maximum 4 visits a day but I think that's in addition to District Nurse visits as well, I've changed her pads, I've showered her, I've given her epipen, at the moment there isn't anything I can't handle, and I'm home all day to look after her.

Thank you both for your messages, it means a lot and they have really helped me settle my mind.

Lozz x

troubleinparadise

It sounds like you've looked at the situation realistically, and know what her personal physical needs are, and feel able to handle those.

Additional medical ones out of your remit can be handled by District Nurses, and the hospice should that particular need arise - although terminal care is also manageable at home if appropriate for your mum and you.

I wish you well with this - it sounds like it is what you and your mum want, and I don't think you'll regret doing the care despite its demands, whereas you might well regret her staying in the home.

It will be demanding and tiring, but I get the impression you're a strong cookie and will cope. Best wishes :A

Errata

Best wishes to you Lozz, I hope things turn out well for you. I hope this helps - please be sure in your own mind there will be a place at the hospice for your mum when she needs it. I'm fairly certain that there is a great need and demand for hospice beds but that doesn't mean there will always be a vacant bed when someone needs it and people often have to be admitted to their District General hospital instead.

NeverEnough

Hope the move goes well Lozz, its really great that you are able and willing to do this for your mum. Hospice support is usually superb, as are Macmillan nurses etc. Keep us updated, our little bit of eSupport is a pleasure to give.

Lozz

Hi troubleinparadise, you're right, I wouldn't just regret leaving her there I would never forgive myself. I'm ready for anything, I just want to take care of her and know she's as happy as can be for the rest of her life. I also have fantastic support in my OH, my 2 teenagers plus my aunt and my mum's very good friend. Because Mum's pain receptors seem to have died she isn't on half the medication she should be at the moment, she's coping on a few paracetamol a day whereas she should be on high doses of morphine.

Hi Errata, I understand what you are saying. Our local hospice is very large and I haven't known of anyone being refused a place there, we all (including Mum) have done a lot of fundraising over the years for it, but to be truthful I am hoping she just goes to sleep here one night and..well you probably know the rest.

Neverenough, thank you so much for all your help, the info you have given me has been invaluable and so supportive, to me it's not a little bit of eSupport it's been a rather large bit of massive support lol.

OT are coming out on Tuesday, dining room is sorted, fingers and toes crossed this time next week she is home.

Thank you all, it means a lot to me.

Lozz x

Errata

Lozz wrote: »

Hi Errata, I understand what you are saying. Our local hospice is very large and I haven't known of anyone being refused a place there, we all (including Mum) have done a lot of fundraising over the years for it, but to be truthful I am hoping she just goes to sleep here one night and..well you probably know the rest.

I'm so pleased things are going well and looking up and your mum is comfy, because that's really important.
You may want to check your hospice admissions policy. It would be a very unusual one if there was a bed for everyone that needed it at exactly the time they needed it. My understanding is that there are always more 'customers' than available bed spaces, and MDT assessment and prioritisation decides who gets a vacant bed and who doesn't.

Lozz

Hi Errata,

I do understand what you are saying, Mum has pallative care nurses from our local hospice and is registered with them, and I have been assured by them that when the time comes she will be transferred there if needed. But as I have said, I hope she goes peacefully here without the need. As she doesn't appear to have any pain receptors left I think it will be a case of she just doesn't wake up at some point

We have had Mum home over the weekend and she is much happier here, I've mastered insulin injections this weekend and am feeling much more confident. Her pallative care nurse is supportive of us bringing her home and it is the right thing for her. She is getting a lot weaker now and I just want her home before it's too late.

Lozz x

troubleinparadise

Dear Lozz,

I'm so pleased for you that the weekend visit went smoothly, and that you are feeling confident about the injections - that bodes well for any other procedures you might have to carry out.

And what good news that her pain receptors seem "dulled" - let's hope that also remains as is, so that any pain management should be well coped with at home.

Having been with both my parents at their passing, it is emotionally draining but a very natural process, and it is certainly something that can be coped with (at home or in the hospice) if the person is kept comfortable, with medications if necessary. The Palliative care team can certainly provide that as needed, and advise you in the time before as to what to expect if it is something you haven't experienced.

Crossed fingers you get your Mum home very soon x

Lozz

Thank you troubleinparadise, and sorry it's taken me so long to reply but it has been a hectic time, but Mum came home on Saturday. Boy it's hard work lol, but she's so much more at ease here than where she was. All of the support services have been fantastic, she has carers in 3 times per day, district nurse in every day and she's being fed by me. Her blood sugars have gone down (no pink blamonge stuff here lol) and all we can do now is our best for her, she's still very frustrated at her lack of speech and what has happened to her but that's to be expected.

Mum's palliative care nurse has been brilliant also, we have agreed to reduce her steroids because of the side effects she has been experiencing, but also because her GP visited today and asked her what she thought the worst thing was about what was happening to her and she replied waking up every day It was just what I didn't want for her, bring her back, tell her she's dying and then let her suffer and know about it. There seriously is something to be said for letting nature just take it's course at times! I know what you mean about emotionally draining, but nature sometimes knows best.

Thank you again for your support, it's helping me through a really difficult time.

Lozz x