Urgent Court of Protection Application help please - worried

troubleinparadise

Hello Lozz,

How are things going?

I remember being greatly relieved that we had finally got Mum out of hospital, but that the worries still continued, albeit slightly different ones...

Name tape sewing, then actually learning that I had to pop into the laundry room to sift through the pile of unidentified laundry (yes, even with a lovely clear C**h's name tape sewn in) to find lost nighties. But really, I was lucky that that was the worst of the logistical problems to deal with.

The reality of the fact that we were still dealing with a problem that couldn't be sorted out was very much still there, but at least the whole fighting the hospital system, and sorting out the next step was behind us. Making sure the nursing/doctor care was in place and being tracked given Mum was new to the staff was still an ongoing issue, but they were getting to grips with what she needed.

And I did feel the home just had a better feel about it in contrast to the hospital; calmer, peaceful and homely, which benefited us all. I do hope things are a little calmer for your mum and your family now.

John_Pierpoint

Other brands are available:

http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?35912-Name-Tags-Recommendation

"Sharpie" is a trade name for "permanent marker".

Errata

I found it useful when both my parents were in different care homes to go through their drawers and wardrobes every week, turf out clothes that didn't belong to them and dump them on the manager's desk.
I also did my own inventory and once a month checked it and demanded an explanation for anything missing that wasn't in their room or in the laundry.
Most relatives carefully label clothes, and most laundries seem not able to grasp that the label is a fair indication of whom the clothes belong to and need to be returned to.

fredsnail

One care home Grandad was in would ask the residents if they owned clothes that were unlabelled and then label them when they said yes.

Sounds great - but Grandad said yes to every item shown to him because "you never know when it would come in handy". He gave me a right row when they asked him about a pair of glasses while I was there and told the carer that they weren't his glasses (he was wearing his own at the time).

Lozz

Hi all,

Sorry I haven't updated recently, we've been going through it a bit. The steroids Mum has been given have worked a bit too well, and she's now aware of what is happening and where she is. She's finding it difficult, especially as she looks at least 10 years younger than the other residents, it's hard to watch her go through this

Lol at the laundry comments, over the past 10 days I have been there, done that and bought (or looked very hard) for the t-shirt. I forgot to label Mum's underwear and as a result she only has two pairs left, apart from the 3 pairs that clearly weren't hers as you could get at least 2 of her in them lol, I have also turfed out some nighties and other bits that weren't hers.

Luckily the council were very easy to deal with, they are serving a 4 week Notice to Quit this week. It's a shame everybody else isn't that easy. It's a bit worrying to hear that Barclays are rubbish John as everything mum has is with them, but I will cross that bridge when I come to it. We're just concentrating now on making her as comfortable as possible for as long we can.

Thank you all for your messages, I really do appreciate it. Off now to go underwear shopping lol.

Lozz x

NeverEnough

Glad to hear your mum is rallying a little Lozz. Hope the red tape isn't made more miserable by officious little dripz in banks and places where you need to try to deal with your mums affairs. If she is sufficiently lucid to give her opinion now, you could have a solicitor attend at the carehome to get a Power of Attorney signed which would help you a lot to deal with her affairs. Worth asking her GP urgently for a capacity assessment if there is any doubt, sometimes there is a window of oportunity in a terminal illness where someone rallies and regains capacity for a while.

Be strong and thinking of you both.

Errata

The difficulty with a qualified health professional assessing someone's capacity (to understand) is that it can only be a snapshot of how they are at that point in time. Someone with multi-infarct dementia, for example, can lose a further dregree of brain function literally overnight

NeverEnough

It is particularly difficult when lucidity fluctuates, but as a professional working in that field daily, I would take heed of the reports of carers / staff / family as to the fluctuating state of mind and provide an opinion based on the "snapshot" plus their ongoing presentation. Remember, all adults are deemed to be capacitious unless proven otherwise - obviously if someone is semi-concious or in a coma, or suffering from severe cognitive damage / dementia, the lack of capacity is clear. Fluctuating lucidity is much more difficult - someone could validly sign a document or make decisions when lucid, then a short while later, lack capacity. I get asked to provide opinions all the time, both for COP and other proceedings. It isn't always straightforward and can change quickly just as you describe the "snapshot" .

Lozz

Hi Neverenough and Errata,

Thank you for the info, it's really useful as I have been wondering whether I could ask a Solicitor to attend the care home for Power of Attorney, the steroids have really brought her back, she still finds it hard to say more than 4 words at a time but it is now obvious she understands everything that is happening (unfortunately in one way), her pallative care nurse discussed the long term steroid side effects with us and she made the decision to carry on with them, and everybody respected that.

It seems more than just a snapshot, if you ask the right questions she is able to answer, we brought her home for the afternoon today and my daughter went through the TV crossword with her, she got 4-5 answers right. We've also talked to her about what is happening this week, and she has been able to say that she is terrified She also threw some clothes at me yesterday and told me to dispose of them, they weren't her's and she knew it.

Sorry for the ramble but they've brought her back to the stage she knows what is happening, and now I just want to bring her home, and look after her here, she's very unhappy where she is, she's not getting enough to eat, we went in at teatime the other night she got half a bowl of soup, two quarters of sandwich and some icecream, due to the steroids her appetite has increased no end and I don't feel I can leave her there anymore

Lozz x

NeverEnough

Lozz I am so glad to hear about your mums rally in strength, especially regaining cognitive abilities to such a degree. Sterids can be marvellous inthis effect but are sadly temporary and of course have loads of side effects as you know, the huge increase in appetite being but one of them. Spunds as if you need to have an urgent discussion with the home management as to her changed needs re food. Perhaps also arrange for her to have a break overnight or for a few days, at home with you to see how you get along. Are you able to care constantly for her at home, perhaps with carer support? Remember the steriods will only be temporary and there is no way of putting a time limit on when they will sto working or the side effects become too much.

I would arrange a solicitor to visit as soon as possible given she has improved so much in mental state as again given her illness, this will be temporary.

If you can have her home for a day or two and feel you could cope even if the steroids stop working, then give serious thought to her moving home with you, otherwise try to sort out the care issues at the home and have her visit you on overnights etc as much as possible while she is well enough for you to cope.

Hope thats of some help and heres hoping the good days last a long time for your mum and the steroids work a good long time. Thinking of you.