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Son not eating lunch

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  • My son hated the dining room, refused to go in, try asking him if it is that
    Blackpool_Saver is female, and does not live in Blackpool

  • Bexm
    Bexm Posts: 460 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Hello

    I haven't read all the posts as there are so many, but thought I'd ad my 2 pence.. the fact he says he's never hungry reminds me of when I was small.

    I got quite nervous in school (although sound silly but I didn't actually realise I was nervous) and this caused me to feel slightly sick (only noticed when I thought about it), which meant I never ate anything as I wasn't hungry. I was about 11/12 at the time and didn't realise this was the problem until a doctor pointed it out to me. I was fine eating at home.
    Once this was established I was given something similar to andrews antacid to drink at lunch time every day. It was more of a psychological thing than anything else but I started eating.

    Outwardly I was quite a confident child, but I always worried about stuff but never told my parents anything that was bothering me (maybe like yours?)..

    Just a thought?
  • mrcow
    mrcow Posts: 15,170 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    aliasojo wrote: »
    :eek: :eek::eek:

    *points the big foam finger at the bad parent*

    Tut tut, how could you?! ;)


    Tip of the iceberg honey. Tip of the iceberg.........
    "One day I realised that when you are lying in your grave, it's no good saying, "I was too shy, too frightened."
    Because by then you've blown your chances. That's it."
  • londonsurrey
    londonsurrey Posts: 2,444 Forumite
    edited 19 July 2012 at 3:16PM
    I did EXACTLY this as a child. My mother went spare with all the things she tried.

    The thing was, I was what I said. I didn't want lunch at school, had no appetite for it.

    Letting him go hungry is not that bad a thing. You're not starving him, you're simply allowing him to make the connection between Don't Eat = Feel Hungry. Sometimes, you've got to let them suffer small discomforts to prevent them making massive mistakes later in life. It's the same as Go Out in Rain Without Brolly = Get Wet.

    I was brought up as an only child, and it wasn't until I went to live with cousins as a teen that I sat at a table without knowing that the food would always be there. There were three other children, and if I didn't start eating the good stuff at the right time, they'd have it, sharpish!
  • Now, I've not read the entire thread (I'm at work so don't have the time!) so I hope I haven't missed anything crucial but honestly Laura, don't read too much into your son's eating habits. You'll get yourself so wound up, although it sounds like you already are, it's not worth it. Trust me, I went thru and am still going thru something similar with my kids and I've learned to go with the flow. All you can do is ask your son what he wants and if he comes home with it, ask if he wants to eat it before tea and if he doesn't and it can't be salvaged for tomorrow, bin it. What's the worst that can happen?

    I used to buy apples for my son (now 20) for packed lunches when he was at school. He'd take one out of the fruit bowl every day and I assumed he ate them so continued buying them. Until I ventured into his bedroom and found a line of apples on his chest of drawers, in varying stages of decay. When I asked him about it his answer was "I don't really like apples". !!!!!!! Why he never thought to mention this, I still don't know but I stopped buying them after that. Kids just don't think of the impact of food not being eaten. They don't care. And that doesn't mean they're selfish or disrespectful or depressed - they're kids.

    The more you go on about his lunch, the deeper he'll dig his heels in. Just let it go.
  • RazWaz
    RazWaz Posts: 1,070 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    He may just not be hungry. Around aged 11, I stopped eating lunch, and I had already stopped eating breakfast a few years before. I ate once a day, and never felt hungry outside of that.

    I still only eat once most days now (around 8pm), and as long as it's a balanced meal then it's fine.
  • starrybee
    starrybee Posts: 1,917 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic
    I hardly ever ate lunch at school because I genuinely wasn't very hungry - a quick snack and I was more than happy.
  • Mrs_Arcanum
    Mrs_Arcanum Posts: 23,976 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Would be interesting to find out if he eats the sandwich on the days he has PE. May just be he needs enough exercise in order to be hungry.

    Other than that try a cool pouch in his lunch-box to keep his sandwich a bit fresher so if he doesn't eat it at lunchtime he can eat it on the way home.
    Truth always poses doubts & questions. Only lies are 100% believable, because they don't need to justify reality. - Carlos Ruiz Zafon, The Labyrinth of the Spirits
  • hazyjo
    hazyjo Posts: 15,475 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Haven't read it all either - but what about soup in a flask or something? Or maybe something different like a crusty roll with cheese & ham in? Or ryvitas/crackers with lots of nice stuff on.

    I went through a similar thing at school. Mum was worried sick. I just stopped eating - wasn't hungry. I barely remember it. I just didn't fancy anything, and lost my appetite. She spoke with the doctor about it who said it just happens and it's like the body's/brain's way of putting someone on a diet/forcing them to intake less food by decreasing the appetite. I wasn't big, but my body I think was telling me to put less in my body.

    I wish it would tell me that now lol!

    Jx
    2024 wins: *must start comping again!*
  • Quick update for everyone that's commented. Since going back to school last week my son has eaten his lunch every day. Maybe it was just a phase? Either way I'm glad he's eating his lunches now. Thankyou to you all for your advice.
    Married my perfect man, 21st June 2012, St Paul's Bay, Lindos, Rhodes :happyhear
    Best day EVER!!
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