Son not eating lunch

sassyblue

You haven't said what he's eating for breakfast? Maybe he's eating too much then.

peachyprice

What is he having for breakfast?

If he's having something very filling it's not beyond the realms of possibilty that he's just not hungry by 12.00. Lunchtimes are very early in primary school. None of my children would have be able to eat lunch so soon after a hearty breakfast.

Perhaps you could try to reduce the amount of breakfast so that he is hungry by 12.00. He'll still end up eating the same volume of food but at least he won't have you being furious with him and won't be sent to bed early for not conforming.

parsonswife8

My daughter did the same at that age. I found a 5 inch solid layer of rotting fruit in the bottom of her rucksack, one day. Instead of telling me that she didn't want it, she just kept on leaving it to rot in her bag.
I'm afraid that I did lose the plot when I found it, as I was a single parent and was not receiving any maintenenace from her father, was paying rent andfor her schooling and did not receive benefit where we lived.
So, I just stopped giving her fruit to school and stuck to a healthy sandwich and made sure she had a bit of fruit at home.
It seem that kids will be kids.

melancholly

McKneff wrote: »

Do you not realise that its probably not the lack of lunchthat is affecting his concentration.

Its you and other people causing it. The pressure you are putting on him. No one said you were locking up in cupboards or anything like. You are angry, you are furious with him, you said so, and you are making it worse by sayings so to him. .

He could be doing it underhand and just chucking his sandwiches in the school bin, I wonder why he doesnt to be honest. Is angry attention from you better than no attention.
Do you spend playing time with him, is he jealous of the time yo spend with siblings or something.

He Is Simply Not Hungry, I said before, he can't help not being hungry.
He will be fine, just let him get on with it.

If he is eating a healthy breaksfast and dinner, he will be fine.

It isn't 'nothing' for a child to avoid an entire meal every single day. Obviously it should be handled carefully/delicately, but obviously, in her situation any parent would be concerned. I think it's very harsh to jump to the conclusion that the parents don't give their child attention. It's an option, but I would guess that parents who don't care about their kids don't try to fix it for months and don't come asking for help. This just seems really really harsh......... No need to make this 'you're a bad parent'..... no need at all.

McKneff

melancholly wrote: »

It isn't 'nothing' for a child to avoid an entire meal every single day. Obviously it should be handled carefully/delicately, but obviously, in her situation any parent would be concerned. I think it's very harsh to jump to the conclusion that the parents don't give their child attention. It's an option, but I would guess that parents who don't care about their kids don't try to fix it for months and don't come asking for help. This just seems really really harsh......... No need to make this 'you're a bad parent'..... no need at all.

First of all nowhere in my post is the word 'nothing'

I didnt jump to any conclusion, it was a suggestion possibly explaining his behaviour and a damn good one.

I never said 'you are a bad parent'

What i am saying is that you are a bad reader, read my post again please.

CH27

I'm concerned that anger & frustration seems to scream through your post OP but not concern.

Allegra

aliasojo wrote: »

This may be irrelevant but might he have an issue eating in front of people (anyone that's not family)?

My middle lad felt like this for a while.

Perhaps it's easier to say he's not hungry to you rather than talk about anything else?

My daughter was like that for years. Then she was unable to eat in front of anyone at all. Then she was unable to eat at all.... We had to work through it, very slowly, backwards - and she's only been taking lunches to school again for a few weeks now (and eating most of them, most of the time).

Laura82_2

pmlindyloo wrote: »

To go 6/7 hours without food is not good for a child. I do hope that he is drinking.

Thankyou so much for your helpful reply lindyloo. It seems that others are putting 2 and 2 together and getting 5, assuming that because I am concerned and frustrated about this issue I must not be giving him any attention, or I am making the problem worse etc. This is all ludicrous, because as you say, it is not good for children to go that long without food!! My son takes a bottle of water to drink at school, which he is drinking each day. We also make sure he drinks plenty of water and milk at home. He only has fizzy drinks and squash at weekends, but only once a day, in between he sticks to water/milk.
I am starting to wish I never asked for help in this forum, because of all the responses, only a handful have been relevant; the rest seem to be painting a picture of an unloved child, not eating in order toget attention. That is so far from the case it would be laughable if I wasn't so concerned for his health.
A lot of people are saying that not everybody needs 3 meals a day etc. Maybe that could be true for adults who are able to make an educated decision on whether or not to eat, but children certainly do require regular mealtimes as part of their continuing development, and most 10 year olds wouldn't have the knowledge about their development and bodies to make a choice to not eat.

meer53

What does he eat before he goes to school ? If he has a big breakfast as someone has already said, he' probably isn't hungry at 12 o'clock. My daughter has a really poor appetite and i used to get so frustrated that she'd say she wasn't hungry at breakfast time. I've now stopped stressing and if she's hungry she'll say so and ask for a yoghurt or cereal, some days she won't have anything. As long as she's a healthy weight, i don't worry about it any more.
You can't force kids to eat.

Allegra

CH27 wrote: »

I'm concerned that anger & frustration seems to scream through your post OP but not concern.

Think that's a bit unfair - I can see concern there. Anger and frustration too, yes, but they could also be caused by concern. Parenting is not easy at best of times, but far more so when things go wrong.

Of course, keeping cool, calm and collected is the best.... And getting angry and frustrated will just compound the problem. But all of us have our breaking point. Lucky people who are never pushed to theirs by their offspring !