Son not eating lunch

Laura82_2

McKneff wrote: »

You are angry, you are furious with him, you said so, and you are making it worse by sayings so to him.

I never said I was furious with him. I don't think I've ever been "furious" with him. I'm frustrated because I know it isn't healthy for him to skip lunch!!

tooldle

Is there any chance that he is eating food given to him by his friends?
It's a long time since I was in school, but a girl in my class would do this. She didn't like her veggie pate sandwiches, but would never admit this to her mum (no idea why). The upshot was that she would eat a bit of other peoples lunches, or just go hungry. I never really understodd what her problem was as such, but she semed happy enough.

Laura82_2

tooldle wrote: »

Is there any chance that he is eating food given to him by his friends?
It's a long time since I was in school, but a girl in my class would do this. She didn't like her veggie pate sandwiches, but would never admit this to her mum (no idea why). The upshot was that she would eat a bit of other peoples lunches, or just go hungry. I never really understodd what her problem was as such, but she semed happy enough.

This was one of the first questions we asked him and the answer was a definite no (almost a "if I'm not eating my lunch why would I eat someone else's" type reaction!) He likes the lunch we give him. It's what he asks for at home when he's asked.

poet123

I think you do need to chill out a little about this, you will be communicating your annoyance and anxiety and it could affect his view of food in later life. It is worrying that he was hiding the remains of lunch, he clearly knew that it would cause upset if you found it. Punishing him in any way will be counter productive.

Maybe involve him in shopping for the makings of his lunches, and ask him to try to eat his lunch two or three days a week initially "for you" and reward him when he does, the carrot always works better than the stick!!

I think that all kids go through stages of doing things we can't understand and sometimes we do blow them up out of proportion. He is happy and healthy and that is the main thing, don't let this issue cloud that.

busiscoming2

In my school we would be aware of an ongoing problem with a child and would most certainly flag it up to the teacher and ask them to speak to the parents. I am surprised this hasn't happened.

We also make sure each child eats the majority of their sandwiches (pasta etc) before they eat any goodies/junk.

Does he eat much at break time as this could affect his appetite?

Laura82_2

busiscoming2 wrote: »

In my school we would be aware of an ongoing problem with a child and would most certainly flag it up to the teacher and ask them to speak to the parents. I am surprised this hasn't happened.

We also make sure each child eats the majority of their sandwiches (pasta etc) before they eat any goodies/junk.

Does he eat much at break time as this could affect his appetite?

He doesn't usually eat anything at breaktime, but may sometimes eat his orange then rather than with his lunch. I've had no communication from the school about this, even after I informed them about finding food under his bed (which was more about giving them a heads-up in case other children were doing the same or throwing lunch in the school bin). I have been surprised that he hasn't been "encouraged" to eat more but then wondered if I have an old fashioned view of it, as when I was at school dinner ladies were allowed to make you stay at the table until you ate everything, even after the bell rang, which I'm guessing they can't do now!!

busiscoming2

I really think a chat with the school is necessary. Sometimes just 'watching' a child through the whole of lunchtime can shed light on a problem that seems unresolvable.

mrcow

Laura82 wrote: »

when I was at school dinner ladies were allowed to make you stay at the table until you ate everything, even after the bell rang, which I'm guessing they can't do now!!

I think they can at least make the kids have a good go of it.

I personally don't see the point of waiting until September if it's upsetting/worrying you. Have a word tomorrow morning and see if there is any improvement.

Your son is the same age as mine. I can assure you, even if he wasn't particualrly hungry, he could still manage two sandwiches if told to eat them. I don't think letting him know that he's in trouble is a bad thing at all. Lunch is provided to be eaten, not to be shoved in a bag so you can then eat something else later in the day. My son makes his own sandwiches and puts what he wants in them. Maybe that would help?

moodydonkey

OP, if your son is happy and eating at home then I really don't understand the issue.
A healthy happy child is important. You have this.

McKneff

Laura82 wrote: »

I never said I was furious with him. I don't think I've ever been "furious" with him. I'm frustrated because I know it isn't healthy for him to skip lunch!!

You didnt mention the word 'furious' so maybe I should nt have said that but you did say

We are very angry with him

He is driving me insane

Could I just add two more things.

I dont think you are a bad parent, far from it, I just dont think you are dealing with this one thing well. There will be a million and one other things that you deal with on a daily basis.

Reward him when he does well, but please dont punish him when he can't, (and note I didnt say doesn't)
I really do hope everything goes well for you and your family.

Annie