Son not eating lunch

Laura82_2

Thanks all, it is definitely not a psychological problem. As for sending him with something he likes...he DOES like sandwiches, this is the thing. He asks to have ham/cheese and lettuce, so I am not forcing him to eat something he doesn't like.
He isn't hiding uneaten food, that's something he used to do. We asked him if it was because we gave him too much in his lunch box and it was his idea to only have a sandwich and orange (he is able to peel an orange and he always eats them).
I can understand the logic of only giving him fruit, but I don't see how that would be classed a balanced lunch as children need various vitamins/minerals and fats in their diet.
I appreciate the concern for my son, but let me assure you all that we do not beat him or lock him in a room, so I think there may have been a slight overreaction to my post!! We simply get annoyed with the fact that we give him the food he wants, but he still doesn't eat it! And us not being able to afford school dinners is irrelevant to the comments being made.
Re other comments... all his friends also have packed lunch (they eat theirs). His weight is perfectly normal and he has no problem eating his lunches at home.
I know you're all going to say he obviously just wants to play, but that doesn't make it right for him to skip lunch, and yes I do think it is starting to affect his schoolwork.

YORKSHIRELASS

You sound so angry and it does sound like this has become a big deal for you. Sometimes as parents we get so wound up about something we lose sight of the bigger picture. I am not having a go, being a parent is difficult and I would be concerned about this too.

What happens on a weekend? Does he eat lunch then? As others have said if his weight is normal and he eats normally at home I wouldnt be too worried. Maybe its the environment at school that is putting him off, have you spoken to someone at school?

At ten he is old enough to discuss this with you and explain what the problem is but he will be reluctant to be honest if he thinks you are going to get cross with him. Maybe let things go and start afresh in September when things have calmed down?

I bought my son a thermos flask so he could take things like leftover spag bol and pasta. I know some schools dont allow this but there are different options for school lunches and there is some good advice on here.

Hope you get it sorted.

stormbreaker

Have you asked him why he is not eating it?

lisawood78

With regards to a balanced lunch/vitamins etc, sending just fruit and it being eaten is as balanced as sending sandwiches and fruit and only the fruit being eaten.

Laura82_2

Thanks Yorkshirelass, helpful comment. Yes we have got wound up as the time has gone on. We're actually discussing it with him as I type. He's saying he likes the sandwiches and doesn't want just fruit, as some people have suggested. He's insisting he just isn't hungry. I work in a nursery and I can't understand why the staff at school haven't noticed that he isn't eating, but at the same time the reason I haven't spoken to the school about the issue is because he is 10 yo and the school focuses on independence, so I get the impression they won't see a problem. My main concern is his health obviously, but it is impacting on his education and concentration.
Maybe he is being a typical 10 year old, I don't know because he's the only one I've got!! I just know that what I know about healthy eating is not what is happening!
Starting afresh in September is the best idea for now, being so close to the end of term.
Thanks all for your comments. I do feel like some of you have been overly harsh, but we have been calm and understanding about the situation for over 6 months hoping it would resolve itself. The frustration stems from our calmness seeming to be the reason for the issue continuing and getting worse!!

Laura82_2

@Stormbreaker, he says he isn't eating it because he isn't hungry. This may be partially true. We are concerned that his concentration has gone downhill because of it

heretolearn_2

Is there a problem at school? Does he have a friend to sit with? Is he stuck on a Billy-no-mates table and would rather not bother? Kids can be really awful to each other sometimes...

or did something happen in the lunch hall one day that distressed him and it's now built up into some sort of phobia (someone threw up/choked/had a fight).

Is there a horrible member of staff supervising them? Did he get shouted at one day?

I'd keep looking for a reason. Have you spoken to the school and asked if anything has happened?

I have doubts that a 10 year old lad simply is not even a tiny bit hungry after a morning at school. And it will be effecting his concentration/school work if he goes all day without food.

mrcow

I would speak to the school and ask them to monitor him whilst he eats it. He needs to get into the habit of eating his sandwiches before he goes out to play.

I can assure you he's not the only child who has issues with eating sufficient lunch. Pass it back to the school to help support you. You sound very stressed about it - but there is little else you can do at this stage, unless you want to offer a reward for eating the lunch (but then he may just go and bin it/hide it)

thorsoak

If you beliefe that his concentration is declining, because he is not eating his lunch, then that is affecting his school work. In your position, I would be notifying the school of this thought and see what their input on the situation might be.

You say, "Maybe he is being a typical 10 year old, I don't know because he's the only one I've got" - the school has a lot mre experience of 10 year olds so they may well be able to put the situation into a different perspective.

But as you say, there are only a couple of days left in this school year ....observe what happens to his lunch during school holidays - is he eating a full meal then? Maybe you should look at letting him have a school dinner say once a week - if he agrees to eat a sandwich on the other four days!

jakes-mum

A quick question, does your school have a set amount of time to eat their lunches before they are kicked out for playtime? At DS's school they have 15 mins (I think it is, may be 20) to eat and my DS was not a fast eater and started to bring his lunch home (read that as too busy talking to his mates and running out of time :rotfl:). Also there was the 'rush' to get out the door as quick as possible for as much play as possible to contend with which meant he 'forgot' to eat his lunch.
Anway we had a bit of a chat and DS now has an item out of his lunch at breaktime and then the last bit at lunch.

My mothers approach on the other hand when I used to throw my sandwiches under the table at school so I didnt have to eat them (how I hated sandwiches!!) was to ring the school and I had to eat my lunch with the deputy head every day until he agreed I was eating everything I brought. It did work I will say, but maybe would be frowned upon by some