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Advice needed

24

Comments

  • jackyann
    jackyann Posts: 3,433 Forumite
    Your daughter should seek legal advice, and talk to CAFCASS. This can no longer be organised in an amicable fashion, so independent agencies need to be involved.
  • sunshine_1988
    sunshine_1988 Posts: 2,119 Forumite
    I would say definately get some legal advice, especially if father already has. It may be worth mediation between the two of them. Going to court should really be the last resort, in my opinion.

    This is a good website for some advice:

    http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/

    hth x
    Little Man born 11 March 2012 :smileyhea
    Newborn Thread Member :)
  • fionamay41
    fionamay41 Posts: 39 Forumite
    I have every sympathy for parents stuck in battles, but wish the the powers that be would understand how damaging some of these situations are to the children. Whilst I understand and agree that children need contact and continunity,I also understand some people are not meant to be parents. Sorry if this comes across as offensive or callous but i have seen the damage this man done to my daughter and I certainly don't want my gd to experience the same treatment. If access could be stopped i think in this instance it would be a good thing.
  • fionamay41
    fionamay41 Posts: 39 Forumite
    Mediation has already been tried, difficult now because of distance father lives 150 miles away, will not agree to amicable talks. He is very educated and will try to control the situation, my daughter still feels intimidated by him because of the verbal and physical abuse in the past.
  • sunshine_1988
    sunshine_1988 Posts: 2,119 Forumite
    fionamay41 wrote: »
    I have every sympathy for parents stuck in battles, but wish the the powers that be would understand how damaging some of these situations are to the children. Whilst I understand and agree that children need contact and continunity,I also understand some people are not meant to be parents. Sorry if this comes across as offensive or callous but i have seen the damage this man done to my daughter and I certainly don't want my gd to experience the same treatment. If access could be stopped i think in this instance it would be a good thing.

    If you are worried about your GD welfare, you - or your daughter, need to speak to Social Services and get them involved. Make a refferal if you have serious concerns.
    Little Man born 11 March 2012 :smileyhea
    Newborn Thread Member :)
  • fionamay41
    fionamay41 Posts: 39 Forumite
    Tried contacting ss few weeks ago, they replied by saying as there were no physical marks on child there was nothing they could do. Father has previously be brought to the attention of ss for hitting child police took no action but he did have to do parenting classes.
  • sunshine_1988
    sunshine_1988 Posts: 2,119 Forumite
    fionamay41 wrote: »
    Tried contacting ss few weeks ago, they replied by saying as there were no physical marks on child there was nothing they could do. Father has previously be brought to the attention of ss for hitting child police took no action but he did have to do parenting classes.

    I must say, that sounds strange to me, I thought all refferals needed an initial assesment, try making another refferal. Especially strange if he is already known for hitting the child and they took no action?! If you really do have concerns, make another refferal and emphasise your concerns.
    Little Man born 11 March 2012 :smileyhea
    Newborn Thread Member :)
  • fionamay41
    fionamay41 Posts: 39 Forumite
    I work in child services myself, it's not that unusual ss are overworked under staffed, then they wonder why we have serious case reviews!!! Even the child minder notices a visible difference in my gd when she comes home from her fathers
  • sunshine_1988
    sunshine_1988 Posts: 2,119 Forumite
    fionamay41 wrote: »
    I work in child services myself, it's not that unusual ss are overworked under staffed, then they wonder why we have serious case reviews!!! Even the child minder notices a visible difference in my gd when she comes home from her fathers

    I'm unsure what more advice I can give you then. Surely if the child is at risk they can not ignore the refferal without atleast assessing the situation. But as you say, you have tried to no avail.

    Get some legal advice. Or urge the childminder to refer. I hope you manage to solve the issues.

    x
    Little Man born 11 March 2012 :smileyhea
    Newborn Thread Member :)
  • fionamay41
    fionamay41 Posts: 39 Forumite
    Thanks for all the advice and support.
    X
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