why are parents who swear at their kids suprised when they hear them swearing.

dizziblonde

There's also the families that think it's hilarious when their toddler tells them to eff off... then wonder why their 10 year old's telling them the same!

cheepskate_2

weepingtree wrote: »

Had this only recently with someone I know, I've heard the parent swear at the child more than once before now. And yes I have siad something in fact my dd is no longer allowed around there because of this.

But the other day another friend of mine was round there with her son when the the child of that family ( aged 6 ) was caught using the F word and was screamed at for swearing and guess what told to get up the f***ing stairs. :mad:

2 people you are not seeing , due to swearing, At this rate you will have no friends.

I always learn my children it doesn't matter what anyone else does-he has his own rules to follow. If he was to start swearing because he heard someone else do it, then I would see that as a problem

Sambucus_Nigra

cheepskate wrote: »

2 people you are not seeing , due to swearing, At this rate you will have no friends.

I always learn my children it doesn't matter what anyone else does-he has his own rules to follow. If he was to start swearing because he heard someone else do it, then I would see that as a problem

It's the same person. Hence 'a friend of mine was round there...'

flashnazia

I find it very sad when parents swear at their children all the time. I think it's abuse.

victor2

I always learn my children it doesn't matter what anyone else does...

Which is worse, children picking up swearing or poor grammar from their parents? I would like to think it's the former and that most responsible parents make some sort of attempt to set a good example.

Mindless_Clone

delain wrote: »

They hear it at school anyway sadly however careful you are at home!

Yes, and that's not changed since my schooling, but I never ever heard it at home and it was always stuck with me that swearing was not something to be thrown casually into every other word in a sentence. I think the exposure levels are what matters; and perhaps I am old fashioned but swearing by adults/adolescents among a peer group is quite different to a young (primary aged) child being exposed to swearing on a daily basis at home and at school.

I am no saint; I have sworn in front of my 5 year old when the odd word has slipped out in anger/frustration/annoyance and I daresay I will again. But I have always checked myself afterwards and felt bad for it. As a parent I believe it is my responsibility to bring my child up to be polite, courteous and well mannered. To me this includes him knowing not to use causal swearing/language inappropriately. If I use it as everyday conversation then he will too. I have trained myself now to say "for goodness sake" instead of "for f*** sake", "sugar" instead of "sh**" etc. Yes, the odd word gets through - especially in the car - but I always apologise and emphasise it was a bad thing for me to say. On the whole I think I keep his exposure to bad language to a minimum.


That said, my nephew/niece's are exposed to it on a daily basis. Their father can't actually utter a sentence without using the F word every other word and their mum isn't much better. I had a frank conversation with their dad about it once and I did say I felt they swore too much in front of their children. His answer was "yeah but they know not to repeat it". Which, huh, well that makes it ok then...:o Thing is, they don't. Whenever I would go round with my son, he would instantly go off and play with the children (his cousins) while I chatted with mum or dad. Just after last half term my son was getting frustrated trying to do something at home and said "oh for f**kings sake" - obviously an amalgamation of my usual "for goodness sake" and a word he had not heard at home. It's no coincidence that he'd spent a lot of time with his cousins the week before at half term. Actually at one point I had to stop the 7 year old because she swore (while mum cheerfully ignored her). I can only conclude he got it from the children. So no they don't know not to repeat it and yes, they are now probably those children at school who are using it and making sure every other child gets to hear and repeat it too. We've stopped spending time with this relative; guess what? My son has not sworn once since.

I can't stop my child being exposed to it - and heaven knows there's so much of it in casual conversation around in public now it's impossible to completely protect him. But that doesn't mean to say I can't take measures to limit his exposure and ensure he grows up knowing how to use it appropriately.

weepingtree

Mindless_Clone wrote: »

Yes, and that's not changed since my schooling, but I never ever heard it at home and it was always stuck with me that swearing was not something to be thrown casually into every other word in a sentence. I think the exposure levels are what matters; and perhaps I am old fashioned but swearing by adults/adolescents among a peer group is quite different to a young (primary aged) child being exposed to swearing on a daily basis at home and at school.

I am no saint; I have sworn in front of my 5 year old when the odd word has slipped out in anger/frustration/annoyance and I daresay I will again. But I have always checked myself afterwards and felt bad for it. As a parent I believe it is my responsibility to bring my child up to be polite, courteous and well mannered. To me this includes him knowing not to use causal swearing/language inappropriately. If I use it as everyday conversation then he will too. I have trained myself now to say "for goodness sake" instead of "for f*** sake", "sugar" instead of "sh**" etc. Yes, the odd word gets through - especially in the car - but I always apologise and emphasise it was a bad thing for me to say. On the whole I think I keep his exposure to bad language to a minimum.


That said, my nephew/niece's are exposed to it on a daily basis. Their father can't actually utter a sentence without using the F word every other word and their mum isn't much better. I had a frank conversation with their dad about it once and I did say I felt they swore too much in front of their children. His answer was "yeah but they know not to repeat it". Which, huh, well that makes it ok then...:o Thing is, they don't. Whenever I would go round with my son, he would instantly go off and play with the children (his cousins) while I chatted with mum or dad. Just after last half term my son was getting frustrated trying to do something at home and said "oh for f**kings sake" - obviously an amalgamation of my usual "for goodness sake" and a word he had not heard at home. It's no coincidence that he'd spent a lot of time with his cousins the week before at half term. Actually at one point I had to stop the 7 year old because she swore (while mum cheerfully ignored her). I can only conclude he got it from the children. So no they don't know not to repeat it and yes, they are now probably those children at school who are using it and making sure every other child gets to hear and repeat it too. We've stopped spending time with this relative; guess what? My son has not sworn once since.

I can't stop my child being exposed to it - and heaven knows there's so much of it in casual conversation around in public now it's impossible to completely protect him. But that doesn't mean to say I can't take measures to limit his exposure and ensure he grows up knowing how to use it appropriately.

The bottom paragraph, totally agree :T

BitterAndTwisted

Some adults use swear-words so often and so automatically they don't even realise they are doing it.

Still, worrying about other parent's behaviour is the quickest route to insanity I can think of. As long as your own children know that they're not allowed to use certain words because you don't use them as they are considered "bad manners" and they shouldn't either, there's not much else you can do about it.

delain

I'd just like to make it clear I am not someone who swears around kids all the time thought my last post was a bit ambiguous!

Drives me mad when I hear OH swear.around them, he's of the 'they should know not to repeat it' brigade :mad:

marisco_2

Children learn what they live, first and foremost. Being exposed to bad examples of behaviour, manners and foul language does them no favours at all. It is difficult to undo this damage in children and help them to make good choices, as they see this all as the norm.

A colleague of mine was once told by a parent that she was a stuck up snob. All because she had the audacity to mention to the parent that their child had been swearing and it wasn't appropriate.

It shows very clearly in the class I work in what influences the children have in their home lives. Some we feel so sorry for and envisage them struggling through life without the basic knowledge of polite etiquette or how to mix in all social circles.