why are parents who swear at their kids suprised when they hear them swearing.

raven83

Well this will top it, my neighbour who has a potty mouth, has a 4 year old girl (who i swear is the sprawn of satan and i usually love kiddies) often swears and you can hear the girl often using the "f" word! Anyway when DD2 was playing outside last year the little girl called over to my dd and they were having general kiddy conversation, when dd didn't want to do something this little girl wanted her to do, the little girl called my girl a C***, yes the "c" word, i was absolutely gobmsmacked and dd was very upset! And these people aren't council house rif raff in case you are wondering (i live in a council house) they own their house and seem to have plenty of money, but just goes to show money cannot buy class hey!

kafkathecat

Strapped wrote: »

I love these holier than thou threads :rotfl:

I think it is really about class. Everyone loves being able to look down on someone.

no1catman

kafkathecat
"I think it is really about class. Everyone loves being able to look down on someone".

I don't see any connection with 'class' - it's just a case of if you have 'good manners' or not.
Say - 'please & thank you, don't swear - unless you really need to.

If you use the language of the 'gutter' then it's not surprising people will turn their noses up at you. It ain't

thatgirlsam

I have sworn in front of my children. Shoot me. I'm not perfect.

I have never, ever sworn at them though.

My dd who is 12 stubbed her toe yesterday, it brought tears to her eyes, I said say a swear word, it helps (it really does, not sure why!!). She wouldn't, bless her.

Just to add I don't say really bad words in front of them, but the odd swear word has definitely slipped out over the years.

When my dd says somthing outrageous or funny I say 'Shut the FRont door'.. it's in a friendly gossipy context, not abusive. She knows what I am 'really' saying and she thinks its funny.

Am I reported to SS now? :-)

lizzie2579_2

It's so funny I just stumbled across this thread, I have just been listening to my neighbour tell her son to shut the f*ck up and if he didn't she would knock him out and lock him outside...he is 5. I find it actually quite worrying, I have wanted to go over there and ask her what is wrong with her but to be honest...Im scared! I also dont want to make an enemy of her as I have only lived here for 3 weeks.
She swears constantly but the thing I have an issue with is that is is always aimed at her son, I have NEVER heard her speak nicely to him. She always calls him a d*ck head, a kn*b, a ba*ta*d etc and then when I see her in the street she is all sweetness and light?!!
On the odd occasion he isn't crying he will shout something back and then all hell breaks lose and I feel like saying to her, well what do you expect, he has learned this from you, this is how he will communicate and then you will wonder why you have a badly behaved child. It really does drive me mad and upsets me as he is a sweet child from what ive seen.

dragonette

lizzie2579 wrote: »

It's so funny I just stumbled across this thread, I have just been listening to my neighbour tell her son to shut the f*ck up and if he didn't she would knock him out and lock him outside...he is 5. I find it actually quite worrying, I have wanted to go over there and ask her what is wrong with her but to be honest...Im scared! I also dont want to make an enemy of her as I have only lived here for 3 weeks.
She swears constantly but the thing I have an issue with is that is is always aimed at her son, I have NEVER heard her speak nicely to him. She always calls him a d*ck head, a kn*b, a ba*ta*d etc and then when I see her in the street she is all sweetness and light?!!
On the odd occasion he isn't crying he will shout something back and then all hell breaks lose and I feel like saying to her, well what do you expect, he has learned this from you, this is how he will communicate and then you will wonder why you have a badly behaved child. It really does drive me mad and upsets me as he is a sweet child from what ive seen.

I would be tempted to call SS. Swearing in front of children isn't great but it happens. Swearing AT a child is different, and threatening them is unacceptable. And she clearly knows it is unacceptable as she is different in public. Just be aware that SS cannot guarantee anonymity.

Poor wee boy! What chance has he got? Being taught the worst way of communicating - not just the swearing but no conversation or rationality, will have problems at school and be emotionally disturbed for life

balletshoes

thatgirlsam wrote: »

When my dd says somthing outrageous or funny I say 'Shut the FRont door'.. it's in a friendly gossipy context, not abusive. She knows what I am 'really' saying and she thinks its funny.

"Shut the Front door" in that context is used on "how to be Indie" which is I think a Disney channel show :cool: - I admit I was a bit surprised when I heard it the first time, as like you, I think its meant to mean something else that begins with "Shut the F"

cherylim

lizzie2579 wrote: »

It's so funny I just stumbled across this thread, I have just been listening to my neighbour tell her son to shut the f*ck up and if he didn't she would knock him out and lock him outside...he is 5. I find it actually quite worrying, I have wanted to go over there and ask her what is wrong with her but to be honest...Im scared! I also dont want to make an enemy of her as I have only lived here for 3 weeks.
She swears constantly but the thing I have an issue with is that is is always aimed at her son, I have NEVER heard her speak nicely to him. She always calls him a d*ck head, a kn*b, a ba*ta*d etc and then when I see her in the street she is all sweetness and light?!!
On the odd occasion he isn't crying he will shout something back and then all hell breaks lose and I feel like saying to her, well what do you expect, he has learned this from you, this is how he will communicate and then you will wonder why you have a badly behaved child. It really does drive me mad and upsets me as he is a sweet child from what ive seen.

If it were me in your position, I'd be getting someone to look into this. It reminds me a lot of my own childhood, but that's just the stuff that goes on when you can hear. There could be much worse going on behind the doors when they're closed, and those things will affect a child for many years - possibly for life.

The kid's five - there's time to help him and if it's not done there are still so many years he'll have to continue facing it. Even if SS don't do anything, it might boost his self-worth just to someone was looking out for him.

kafkathecat

no1catman wrote: »

kafkathecat
"I think it is really about class. Everyone loves being able to look down on someone".

I don't see any connection with 'class' - it's just a case of if you have 'good manners' or not.
Say - 'please & thank you, don't swear - unless you really need to.

If you use the language of the 'gutter' then it's not surprising people will turn their noses up at you. It ain't

who decides what the language of the 'gutter' is? why are some words 'swearing' and others not when they mean the same thing? When is it OK to swear? These are all social rules designed to divide us. What is acceptable to one person may not be to another.

In Lizzie's case, I think the swearing is the least of that poor boy's problems.

sunshinetours

Putting it bluntly some people are socially inept for various reasons, so it is no great shock that bring up their own socially inept children.

As some have said very clearly above, all you can do is limit your childs exposure at home and teach them wrong from right and do your own bit for society. Knwoing how to behave in different situations is all part of a well rounded education IMO, which is why school isn't the be all and end all of "education"