How do you feel happy in yourself?

jessyclark

Go out for lunch with friends . .

lizzie157

Positive thinking is the key I think. Have just read 'Feel the fear and do it anyway' which talks about our negative inner voice, we all have one but those who feel most content choose not to listen and replace it with a positive voice. There is a positive from every situation- even the dark times in our lives add something to our character. I'm not saying it's easy and I definitely haven't cracked it yet, but my life is far from perfect and I'm no longer feeling the way I did 6 months ago so it is helping my self esteem to try and think this way.

January20

figaro36 wrote: »

It's something I've never managed to do, even though in theory I 'should' be very happy and to an extent I am, but not quite happy enough in myself.

I worry too much about what people think, and about whether they like me or not. I also think quite negatively about people and get irritated easily, yet at the same time I want people to like me

I just want to do my own thing and not worry about others but I just can't.

figaro, I wonder how old you are and what your personal circumstances are? For me, it was simple: I got rid of a husband who analysed my every move and made me self-conscious (although this wasn't the reason we parted!) and I got older. Age in fact is a great factor. I think when you are younger, you are so driven to impress others, it doesn't make for happiness.

You need to find out why you are so worried about what other people think. Does it really matter is the next door neighbour doesn't like the way you dress, talk, think?

You also need to address why other people irritate you so much: what do they do or say that irritate you? Do you expect too much from them? Are you naturally impatient? intolerant?

The answer is really within yourself. You gave very little info in your opening post so it's difficult to advise further.

I also agree with Seanymph and FBaby's posts, but I wouldn't call it "dissatisfied". I have plans and hopes and wants but they don't make me unhappy and dissatisfied (as long as I control my impatience). They are goals that I want to achieve, and I'm sure once I've achieved them I'll find so more goals to strive for.

gingin_2

figaro36 wrote: »

I worry too much about what people think, and about whether they like me or not. I also think quite negatively about people and get irritated easily, yet at the same time I want people to like me

I just want to do my own thing and not worry about others but I just can't.

I think you need to accept that you are not going to like everyone and not everyone is going to want to be friends with you. It's the same for everyone, we're all different and we are all drawn towards different types of people, it's nothing personal.

I do find that if you want to eliminate paranoia about what people think about you is just to be pleasant - to everyone. Smile, say hello to everyone, think of a few basic questions that will cover almost all situations and awkward silences ( weather, how was you day, isn't your dog lovely etc.) . That way you know you've been decent and if they have a problem then it's really not about you, it's about them.

FatVonD

I read an expression many years ago that I'm just about to (probably) misquote! It went along the lines:

'Never compare yourself to other because you'll either feel envious or smug and neither is a good look'.

rachbc

figaro36 wrote: »

I also think quite negatively about people and get irritated easily, yet at the same time I want people to like me

I suspect if you stopping thinking negatively about other people you would stop worrying about what other people think about you. After all you can only control what you think so what other people do - if you think and act like a nice person then thats probably what other people will see.

System

its not that i'm not happy, other peoples expectations of me gets me down.

January20

Judi wrote: »

its not that i'm not happy, other peoples expectations of me gets me down.

Are they people who matter though, Judi?

System

Are they people who matter though, Judi?

Unfortunately yes. Ive ditched the toxic friends a long time ago but its not so easy to deal with family that i am close to.

BEAR

i should be happy..a loving hubbie, no money worries, health prety good at 50 and just movedinto a great community...but i feel guilty about being so fortunate due to son living such an awful life
if he got sorted out then i culd release so to speak and jump into a lovely life

i regret not having friends but have cut them off....i do have lots of acquaintances here tho who could become friends in the tufur