On the Edge with Debts

elvis2003

Yes i want to stop the gambiling.. But i also want to pay all my friends and family back as i promised this month which my wages dont cover....
I dont want to let them down and the fact that i recently fell out years ago with my best friend when this happend we never spoke for over a year and now i owe him 500 by end of this montha dnreally cant let him down, cant let others i owe to down also and my family.... These are most important to me and i wish i would of though about it all before blowing money after money in those !!!!ing !!!! shops.....
As for the payday stuff and loans i no there is debut companies and charities i can get help off... But i REALLY REALLY dont want to let people around me down adn also tell them i have been gambiling --- I am seeking help throu GA have looked on website and have found a local meeting i will be attending,,, but just cant explain how much i need to pay these people back this month or things will from bad to worse for me.

19lottie82

Look OP I don't mean to sound harsh but from what I have read you're just not being realistic. The reality is you CAN'T afford to pay everyone back in the short term so you're going to need to work out who to pay with what you do have. Yes you're going to have to let some people down but you need to accept that!

Until you get these ideas out of ur head of getting the money you need to cover everyone thru gambling, then ur just in a vicious circle and things are going to just get gradually worse. Even if u did put ur wages on a roulette spin and won enough to pay everyone back, this time, would that be it? No more gambling? No more debt? No more similar situations, ever again? No. It would just get worse. But I think you know that.

barbarawright

elvis2003 wrote: »

Yes i want to stop the gambiling.. But i also want to pay all my friends and family back as i promised this month which my wages dont cover....
I dont want to let them down and the fact that i recently fell out years ago with my best friend when this happend we never spoke for over a year and now i owe him 500 by end of this montha dnreally cant let him down, cant let others i owe to down also and my family.... These are most important to me and i wish i would of though about it all before blowing money after money in those !!!!ing !!!! shops.....
As for the payday stuff and loans i no there is debut companies and charities i can get help off... But i REALLY REALLY dont want to let people around me down adn also tell them i have been gambiling --- I am seeking help throu GA have looked on website and have found a local meeting i will be attending,,, but just cant explain how much i need to pay these people back this month or things will from bad to worse for me.

I can promise with 100% certainty that, if they knew the full story, they would feel more let down by your continued gambling than by your failure to pay. And you really need to tell them, if you haven't already - you will need all the support you can get (people taking out of situations where you have opportunities to gamble etc)

RichCH

First of all, sorry to hear that things have got so bad with this. But in terms of looking at steps to solve the problem, you're actually not doing the right thing. People on here can give encouragement and advice sure, but you're not helping yourself by just being on a forum with people telling you varying things to do.

Number 1: Change your life.

Any addiction is based upon a routine and a need. Be it you feel the need is to get out the house, but in your case bring about more money to pay back everything you have done. If your life is the same every day, it's never going to change until you change.

Number 2: Your life is now going to become all about goals.

You're never going to win lots of money and pay everyone back that way. Even if you do win big, you will continue to gamble because you think you will win big again. It's a spiral. It's like telling yourself it's a last cigarette, it will never be the last if you say it's the last.

You have to set yourself goals when paying people back money. For example, if you owe a mate £100. When you have the £100, clear that debt. Make a list, tick it off. Move onto the next.

First and foremost clear personal debts to friends off, then move onto the institutional debts.

If you have someone you can hand over your finances to, do it. Give them your passport, drivers licence, cash card, credit card, and get them to give you a weekly allowance to live from.

This is the only way you will change.

olivia84

elvis2003: I know what you are saying in that you really need/want to pay your friends and family this month, but as someone else has said, that just may not be possible. Please, please post a full Statement of Affairs or something that people on here can maybe have a look at for you.

How much will your wages be this month?
when do you get paid?
what are your essential bills? (rent/mortgage etc)
do you have paydayloans coming out of your bank account this month?
is all the money you owe to frinds and family payday loans that will come out of their bank accounts?
is it too late to ask your work to change your bank details into another account?
who do you feel absolutely has to be paid this month - your friend that may fall out with you? could your parents wait a while until you're sorted? can you ask anyone else if they can wait a while longer?
have you given all your cards etc to your girlfriend yet?

I know its alot to sort out but if you tell the good people on here all the facts, they will try to help you work out your finances, but only you can act on their advice.

please update us soon xx

Sharon87

It's a harsh world for you at the minute I know. But I would tell a few people about your gambling habit, they will be able to help. Just accept the fact you will have to let someone down by not paying them back this month. With the spare money you have after all bills have gone out use this money to pay back 1 or 2 people, and explain to the other people about your gambling habit.

I would ask your girlfriend or close family member to put parental controls on your computer to block all gambling sites, and self exclude yourself from the casinos and bookies in town, especially the ones you make a habit of going to.

Fill this form out to help us realise your full financial situation
http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html click on calculate then MSE and copy and paste it into a post.

But first and foremost you have to take steps towards stopping gambling. And the main excuse for gambling at the minute is not wanting to let your friends and family down by not paying them back the money. If you can admit to the closest person you won't be able to pay them back this month, and explain why, then that is a step in the right direction. They then could help you from stopping gambling.

Good luck with everything

ConnorH

Hi there, I'm sorry to hear about your struggling situation.

The foundation to a life of financial security and wealth is to have the grounds of a debt-free and, in ways, risk-free lifestyle. By this I mean that to improve the situation you're currently in, you have to stop the gambling in order to hugely enhance your finances. If you don't, you'll never get yourself sorted and will always have sums of money leaving your pocket through this immense money pit.

First stop the gambling through a) blocking access to gambling websites, stores, casinos and b) fully understand that gambling has put you in this position and it will continue to drain you of any chance of a better life in the future if you carry it on.

I wish you the best of luck, just take one day at a time and re-pay the most urgent loans to begin with, to slowly bring yourself back into any such normality.

We're on your side, good luck!

- Connor.

Cade_Foster

elvis2003 wrote: »

What happens if they let you in when you self exclude? plus their is so many of them not just in my city to.
Not trying be funny i just think that self exclusion is a waste of time even when you close your acc online their so many others you can use, i no this sounds bad they way i am looking at thing but i just think if i wanted to find a way to gamble then i could quite easily.

You eithier want to do something about it or you do not, only you can do it but do not make excuses saying its a waste of time, only you can stop gambling, it sounds to me like you want to keep your avenues open.

elvis2003

olivia84 wrote: »

elvis2003: I know what you are saying in that you really need/want to pay your friends and family this month, but as someone else has said, that just may not be possible. Please, please post a full Statement of Affairs or something that people on here can maybe have a look at for you.

How much will your wages be this month?
when do you get paid?
what are your essential bills? (rent/mortgage etc)
do you have paydayloans coming out of your bank account this month?
is all the money you owe to frinds and family payday loans that will come out of their bank accounts?
is it too late to ask your work to change your bank details into another account?
who do you feel absolutely has to be paid this month - your friend that may fall out with you? could your parents wait a while until you're sorted? can you ask anyone else if they can wait a while longer?
have you given all your cards etc to your girlfriend yet?

I know its alot to sort out but if you tell the good people on here all the facts, they will try to help you work out your finances, but only you can act on their advice.

please update us soon xx

hi an thanks.. Yesterday I never gambled or tried to get money to I went home after work an took my self on a long run .

My list of debut is so hard to work out as i have had companys chasing me for loans from ones i may have had 10 years ago to ones I have had 1 year ago, i have always buried my head ignored them hoping they will go away,... My main concerns are owing family and freinds money and making sure i clear thier debuts. Of top of my head ill put a list below..

List 1
Phone Bill - Tmobile, now passed to Fredrickson/Brain carter last i heard = asking for £700
Aktava cap- 350
Aktava Cap - 1000
Money Barm - 8500- had CCJ for this
Black Horse - 3000 CCJ for this.
Cap one, now with someone else- 700
Aqua- also with someone else- 500
Wageday advance - with another DCA= 350
WOnga - 500
Speed loan- 500
Cash store - 800 - due payday this month
Cash convertor - 250 -due payday this month
H&T - 400- due payday this month
Cheque centre - 230 - due payday this month

Prob others to but really cant think of which still chasing me..

List 2 -

Girlfriends mum took 2k loan i pay 100 a month on this and i do pay it. - need this month
Girlfiriend got payday loan which i failed and they chasing here for - 700 - will wait
Friend 1 = 500 - need to pay this month
Friend 2 = 300 - need to pay this month
Friend 3 = 200. - need to pay this month
Friend 4 = 500 - will wait
Friend 5 = 1500 - will wait
Brothers car= 1500 loan in total off auto money have already paid them 2 payments of 250 each = 500 and still the loan is 1500, next payment of 250 due this month. the 20th - need to pay
Mum and dad 350 - need to pay

List 3
Can even think really now.
Do have other bills, Gym 2 missed payments. A parking find and a speeding fine also...

I have a car through work which comes out my salary before i get it- so it leaves me with 1140 a month...

Cade_Foster

Good for you going on a run find other things to do to keep your self busy so you dont have time to gamble. Looks like you are making a start.

A lot of people myself included have sounded harsh on here but people are doing to help you.