Preparedness for when

[Deleted User]

VJsmum wrote: »

But I can also see the other side that you can't generalise and you shouldn't blame the children.

I'm not aware of anyone, on this thread, blaming the children.

fuddle

I was being sarcastic but there's some thought to the issue. Maybe we have to blame TPTB because they gain financially out of cigarette, alcohol and consumerism. Maybe, if we're into generalising, our nation has been bombarded with messages encouraging this kind of behaviour - maybe like supermarket psychology and marketing.

Just an idea. I wouldn't know as hardly drink, never smoked and (now!) try not to be a consumer.

thriftwizard

My son went to school without breakfast today - because the lazy little so and so couldn't get out of bed in time. he is nearly 15 and nearly 6' so I can't physically get him up - he has simply got to learn that getting up 5 minutes earlier will mean he isn't hungry going to school. I keep "grab and go" things in for him but he couldn't even be bothered to get one of those. Is that my fault? I don't think so, no. we aren't poor and we aren't especially chaotic. But if someone offered him toast when he got to school, I suspect he would have gladly accepted.

I well remember the day the school rang up & told me sternly, "J*'s lunchbox is empty, just yesterday's wrappers inside." I went barreling up there with an armful of replacements, feeling about half an inch high, which he gratefully accepted & wolfed down. It later emerged that he'd already eaten his lunch, at break time, when being Classroom Monitor, but I'm sure I was put straight onto the "chaotic parent" list. And when he got to senior school, he simply wouldn't eat breakfast. It was provided, for him and his brothers & sisters, every day without fail, with plenty of choice, but he'd infinitely rather have an extra 2 minutes in bed. He's in his final year at uni now, heading for a First, so it can't have damage him too much!

[Deleted User]

fuddle wrote: »

Maybe we have to blame TPTB because they gain financially out of cigarette, alcohol and consumerism.

In fact, TPTB (or rather society in general, since the money collected from taxes goes to run the country) gain financially from everything we buy.

Should we perhaps outlaw cinema visits, big screen TVs, posh cars, designer clothes, holidays, etc., in case some parents elect to buy them ahead of food, heating and clothes for their children?

How far should the law interfere, in what we spend our money on?

fuddle

I guess it depends on whether the people living in the society have the money to be able to consume like you describe or whether they are getting in to debt in order to achieve.

Bring it back down to the original level and that's people choosing to be consumers over providing for themselves and their families.

If that really is the case then we should be addressing why really.

GreyQueen

Fuddle, there's nothing particularly new about this. I was privy to a conversation in 1993 (21 years ago this summer) between two very experienced primary school teachers. Between them, they had the best part of 40 years' experience of early years education.

They were talking in hushed, horrified voices about the children being brought into their schools. Children, not children with learning disabilities, who had been so poorly socialised that they didn't recognise their own names, who were incapable of following a simple instruction such as sit down or stand up or stop talking please. Who had never sat at a table with a plate in front of them, never mind used cutlery, who couldn't dress themselves and, in some cases, who were still in nappies. Where do you start with trying to educate a small person like this? When they have been so neglected that they are about 3-4 years behind normal developmental milestones at the point they are dropped into school to be educated.

This was in a comfortable part of the home counties, btw, not the slums.

This was leaving experienced primary school teachers wide-eyed with horror. They were disbelieving of their own experiences. They literally had seen nothing like it all their working days. And it wasn't just one or two, it was many. And those kids are now old enough to be parents, and probably are..........it's a frightening thought.

kezlou, good for you about putting them to rights about the dinos in the grass. Blinking cheek. In our LA we own our own stock so housing officers would be working for the same organisation as the benefits assessors, although they have distinct roles. For our lot, it's only benefits visiting officers who'd be attending the home to enquire about income.

It's also normal to have visits a few times in the first year, to check how things are going. They certainly seem to be busy-bodying into your lives and how gratifying that your responsible pet ownership, among other responsible matters, challenged their pre-conceptions of what you would be like.

Righty, must get the tea on, doing something simple with leftovers. The pleasure of knowing that you have an easy meal ahead of you because you made a bit pot of food at the weekend....nomnomnom.

fuddle

I'm not saying child neglect isn't and doesn't happen, what I'm trying to suggeat is that we can't judge parents of children who present with those difficulties in schools and likewise, you can't judge me for my daughter fainting or VJsmum and thriftwizard for their kids going to school without breakfast. No one knows but that's no excuse for ignoring or not following up a concern.

maryb

So what changed GQ? If they had seen nothing like it since they started teaching in the early 1950s when there was plenty of poverty around? Why did it start happening?

craigywv

I have a paraffin lamp and was wondering is there anything else I can burn in it safely as the oil is so expensive thanks

Hard_Up_Hester

We regularly get girls fainting at school, more girls do it than boys & usually it is because they are dieting.
There are systems in place where I work to feed any hungry child, our head has a bee in his bonnet about it, good on him.
But even at secondary school we get children who aren't reliably toilet trained. No way would I ever expect a child to suffer what ever the reason behind it, poor parenting, lack of skills, lack of parental interest.
Some children who aren't eligible for free school meals still aren't given the money for food, some that are given money spend it on a fizzy drink on the way to school.
And then there are people like my BIL & his GF, they neither of them work & get benifits, they are just returning from a week in Vegas & in March they are off to Thailand. Hubby & I both work & can't afford a wet weekend in Weston, bitter, moi, you bet!
Hester