24 Hour cafe in Leeds?

Ames

The last couple of days were ok, but it's all gone south again.

I finally got to see a psychiatrist today! She was fantastic, sensible, down to earth, practical. She's changed my meds a bit, so the next few days will be rough as I'm coming off the old AD and starting the new one. There were other good things too - she told me some basic acupressure techniques to help with the anxiety. But she did say that my community co-ordinator (who I've never had contact with) is the only one who can make the referrals I've been promised. So that'll be an even longer wait. We agreed that I'd go in to the hospital for five days a week, and on the other two I'll go to a group run by Mind on one and just into town on the other.

So when it came time I was leaving, I went to get the meds. While the nurse went for them I asked again about having taxi fares paid for, and they confirmed that they only refund bus fare. They said it's good for our recovery to make our own way there independently, and we're expected to use our DLA for taxis. They don't seem to have a contingency plan for people who don't get DLA.

They said they'll pay for the taxi on Friday, and we'll find a compromise after that. Then they said they'd lost my meds. After half an hour they found them again but by then I was sobbing - I was already on edge today because of losing my car tomorrow, and I'd been anxious all day because there were more people than usual at the hospital and I couldn't find a quiet spot.

I got home and phoned dad, I wanted someone to talk to. I know, I know...

I asked him, and then sister, if I could borrow 'sister's' car for a couple of months. Since it's not actually hers, it's part of the estate, and she's been driving it for 15 months, I don't think that's unreasonable. She said no. She needs to travel to Leeds to look at rooms for when she moves here for uni next term, and she needs it to move her stuff. I said I'd pay for her train fare to Leeds, and that she could borrow it for a few days a week when she needed to move. She still said no.

Then she said how they're getting estate agents in to mum's house next week and we'll decide on one and get the house up for sale. Whoah! This needs to be done in talks with the solicitor, or me! Apart from anything else there's the letters of administration that the solicitor has. Dad says to get her to send one to him and sister.

So, everything's kicked off again. I'm upset that sister wont help me with the car - I can't afford £35 a week in taxis to the hospital, but it's too late to buy a car because I can't get out to places to view them.

Dad's solution is to get buses. Even if you put aside my panic attacks and anxiety at the thought of using one, it means a half mile walk to the bus stop and the same again, up a big hill, to the hospital. Which I can't manage.

So, I don't know what to do. Obviously I need to write to the solicitor about the house. I don't know if I've got any right to use the car or not, but even if I do it wont be sorted out quickly enough. All I can think of in relation to the hospital is to get discharged earlier than planned and try and manage.

Yorkie1

I would forget about the car, Ames, to be honest. Just think of all the hassle in organising it with your sister, not to mention getting added to insurance. The less contact you have with your sister, the better.

Contact your solicitor tomorrow, and ask for their advice about the actions which your family are taking contrary to your specific requests as executor. Be guided by them.

I can't advise you about the benefits side of things but as you've got a plan in place to have contact at the hospital, it does sound as cancelling that really should be the last possible option for you.

Have you been over to the benefits board on here for advice on the benefits side of things?

elsien

Is this any use to wave at the hospital - depending on whether you have any qualifying benefits.
http://www.patient.co.uk/health/Help-with-Travel-Costs-to-Hospital.htm

There's this quote further down the page, which you may be able to argue applies to your situation re public transport.

"You should use the cheapest available means of transport, using public transport where possible. Petrol costs equivalent to public transport costs will be reimbursed if a private car is used instead of available public transport. If public transport is unavailable full petrol costs will be reimbursed. Taxis may be used if there is no alternative or if the patient is unable to use public transport."

Ames

The benefis side is being dealt with by experts. We've got excellent letters from my GP and outreach worker. It's just a case of waiting now.

I agree about the car, I was just clutching at straws I think. I just need to figure out the best way of spending my £1500 savings. Whether buying a car is best, or getting the cleaning done and running them down on £50+ a week in taxis.

Ames

Thanks elsien, but I'm not sure if it applies. For a start, there isn't a fares office at the hospital I go to, and they told me they don't have a budget for transport. I do get income support, so I qualify, but I'm not sure the hospital unit I'm going to qualifies IYSWIM?

Ames

http://www.mentalhealthleeds.info/clients/leedsmental/modules/combined/interface/COMBINEDMOD_viewitem.aspx?id=1519&pageid=1

This is the unit I'm in, although it's got a different name now. I can't find any more info about it anywhere.

whitewing

Are there not volunteer drivers who use their own cars to take people to hospital who can get their petrol refunded? I think there is some kind of service like that down our way.

Ames

I think there are services like that round here but I haven't a clue how to access them. I'll ask at the hospital, but given their track record on admin I'll probably never get an answer! Would it make a difference that I'm not there for set times and appointments, it's more of a drop in centre at the times I feel comfortable with?

Ames

Sorry to keep moaning.

I think it's hitting me that I'm not going to be able to come out of all this with any kind of relationship with my dad or sister.

I know that it's been so much better when we've not been talking, but it's a bit scary to think that it'll be forever. Especially since I don't have friends who I see regularly.

I guess I need to accept that having no-one is better than having people who make me feel so bad. But I've no idea how I go about that.

I suppose I'm just scared. And confused.

Lexxi

Don't think about not having a relationship with them ever again if that's too scary, just think about what you have to do to get through this month, this week, or even this night. I used to hate that me and my sister didn't get on, all I wanted was for there to be something 'sisterly' there but it didn't work out like that, I only see her occasionaly. I look at her now and think 'you're not a nice person and I wouldn't see you if we weren't related' well not every time but that's the gist of it.
I know it's easier said than done. Plenty of people told me things would wrk out with my sister and I really wanted it to but worrying that it might never was what was upsetting me the most.

If it's just that you won't have anyone at all look at some of these online support groups or classes.

Glad to hear about the physchiatrist. Sounds like she's been a big help already