24 Hour cafe in Leeds?

Ames

That's exactly what I'm like on buses! Well, anywhere - I'm so scared of being in someone's way. I'm actually thinking that using the rollator might make it easier, because it'll give me a little protective bit of my own space around me.

I'm meeting my support worker on Wednesday in town, right next to the bus stop home, so I'm hoping I can get the taxi there and get on the bus to come home. But I'm not beating myself up if I don't manage it.

Ames

Well it's all kicking off in Scarborough. I've had a phonecall from sister, and then called dad.

It seems both of them are accusing the other of not doing anything today and being lazy. They want me to go over to 'help'. There's no way I'm physically up to running up and down stairs, lugging heavy stuff about to fill a skip, doing a proper deep clean. Sister said if I go and just direct them with what to do it'll be enough, but I've fallen for that one before and know I'll be expected to do the physical stuff.

I think they're both using me as an excuse - 'oh but we can't clear x room because Ames might want some old crappy VCR that hasn't worked in years'. (yes, that's a real example).

It'll cost me at least £50 to go over, and without a car I wont be able to just leave when things get awkward - they tend to gang up on me about stuff, just like they did with the solicitor.

So, I'm going to email them both a detailed list of wha I want from the house, what I want to keep, etc. Then I'm going to order a load of packing boxes online to have delivered to them. I've also offered to pay for someone to come in and do my share of the heavy lifting - for the £50 they could get someone to come in for half a day and achieve more than I could in a week.

Plus it means I don't have to stop going to the hospital. Which is what sister wanted. I had to laugh. She's having an endoscopy later this week and tried to play the 'poor me' card, how worried she is etc and has no support... I couldn't help pointing out when I had a colonoscopy due to a cancer scare (her's is to test for coeliacs) I couldn't even have pain relief, never mind sedative, due to having to drive myself there and back and having no-one to look after me afterwards. Dad's taking the day off work to take her to the hospital and look after her for the rest of the day. So her 'poor me' attempt failed. I'm not playing down her problems, but trying to show perspective.

So, does anyone know how I go about finding someone in Scarborough who can help with a house declutter and deep clean? Preferably without costing the earth?

Of course, all this runs down my savings and means I probably can't get a car in September, which will risk uni, but my health has to come first.

I'm quite proud that I've stood up to them, even though they're both layering on thick the emotional blackmail and trying to tell me off and get me to do what they want.

Savvy_Sue

You may or may not be surprised to learn that there is an Association of Professional De-Clutterers and Organisers. I know nothing about it, beyond the fact that a former colleague belonged to it (and was an amazing de-clutterer!)

Yorkie1

Ames wrote: »

I've been full of cold and not able to make it into the hospital since Wednesday. I tried to phone them but it seems the number they call me from doesn't accept incoming calls.

I've just gone to look at the PALS site and it doesn't seem that the one I need to speak to is contactable. Just by phonecall, which is a problem for me, besides which I want to have something in writing - from experience, the MH department just tell PALS what they want to hear then ignore them. This is the site, I don't know if I'm maybe reading it wrong? I also find it quite shocking that they're not accessible etc.

http://www.pals.nhs.uk/dirViewAnon.aspx?OfficeId=404

In other news, mum's house is going on the market in the next week or two - sister's getting EAs in at the end of this week after she and dad have cleaned and tidied it to within an inch of it's life. Which brings the next big fight - the right to buy a house and not have it classed as deprivation of capital. Even if I win that, finding somewhere suitable in my price range in my GP catchment area is going to be a challenge, to put it mildly. I've been looking at houses in towns around Leeds and I could get so much more for so much less. I'm not sure how to check out things like GPs and crime rates etc though.

Anyway, enough rambling.

It does look as though they only take phone contact, which I agree is very inaccessible.

If you really can't face a quick phone call to ask for an email address & explain why you can't deal with phone contact, then perhaps write to them at the given address - probably not giving too many details intially but just explaining why you can't deal with a phone contact and asking a) for an email address or b) their suggestion of alternative ways of contacting them given your mental ill health condition.

As for researching other areas, there used to be a helpful website called upmystreet, but it now redirects to zoopla which is of naff all use.

Crime reports can be accessed through police.uk, and I think the NHS direct site is likely to contain details of GPs. Likewise the BT phone book may well list GPs - and you can then google them for more info.

carolan78

Ames wrote: »

I've been looking at houses in towns around Leeds and I could get so much more for so much less. I'm not sure how to check out things like GPs and crime rates etc though.

Anyway, enough rambling.

I've lived in Leeds all my life so if you want to pm any areas you have been looking at and I can see if I can help you

Ames

Thanks everyone and I know I owe some pms but I'm having trouble getting online - I'm having to use my phone right now.

I have my discharge meeting on Tuesday and after speaking to someone today I'm feeling like the last few weeks have been a complete waste of time.

First the referrals. There's no point making the ones to the CFS clinic or eating disorders clinics because they'll just say psychology should deal with it. Psychology has a long waiting list, and in the past they've refused to see me as I have more than one problem. So I'm back to square one there.

My outreach worker probably won't be at the meeting because the hospital didn't get in touch with her so it's really short notice. So much for all the promises that shed definitely be there as it's important to have as many people there as possible.

My community care worker is a social worker not the cpn I was told. My ongoing care in the community will be for a few weeks, a couple of months at most. I won't have a cpn and definitely not long term as they 'haven't done that for years'.

I'm just really angry with myself for only hearing what I want to hear, especially when they said they won't just discharge me with no ongoing care. How on earth did I misinterpret that as long term care. All along my worry's been going back to how it was before with no real help and support, and that's exactly what'll happen.

Sorry to moan again.

Ames

As epected my support worker can't make the meeting. I've emailed an advocacy service but I doubt they'll be able to help at such short notice. I've also emailed PALS but from the automated reply I don't think they'll get my message till after the meeting.

I just wish that they'd never admitted me at all rather than spent four weeks building my hopes up just to let me down. I can kind of see why they thought that was best, to get me through the crisis, but I feel like I've lost something.

Anyway I've started working on a list if all the things that have been suggested or promised and I'll see what, if anything, I can come out with.

Yorkie1

Good luck Ames, so sorry to hear your update. If you can go in with your list and push them to deal with all their failed promises, you may just be able to get more than you hope for.

Ames

The problem is that the unit can't follow through their promises, so it's up to the community social worker. Then even if she will refer me I've been warned they wont accept me. Which was my experience before.

Anyway, I've had some good news today - the cleaning is happening this week, Wednesday and Thursday. So by the end of the week I'll have a nice clean safe comfortable flat to be in. The timing couldn't be better really.

jazabelle

You're doing so well, Ames. It infuriates me when people try and help themselves, and get knocked back.

I also hate it companies when - particularly ones like PALs - don't bother to make themselves accessible. I have memory issues, and much prefer email so I have a record I can look back on, and search within. I keep everything important to me in there, yet so often a company will display an email, but when I contact them that way - they respond telling me to phone them.

Anyway, I'm glad you've found some options of places to go a night, and are appealing against the ridiculous DLA decision. Do you have support with this? I've got through a couple of DLA tribunals - and it was one of the worst times in my life. So make sure you have lots of help.

Hope the cleaning goes well. Having a clean and tidy house helps loads, I find.