make do and mend for tougher times

GreyQueen

Thank you so much for the Simon's Cat linkie. I watched that and roared with laughter; soooo well-observed and will shortly be going to watch some more. They know their moggies.

Small cat anecodote from the parentals. Yesterday, the cute-but-dumb one (we can call her Fluffy, not her real name) was stretched out full length on her side on the wooden step which leads up from the backyard into the shed and is in full view of the kitchen window.

Fluffy was enjoying the sun and deeply-asleep and not even noticing that there was a squirrel poncing about on the lawn and the patio. The squirrel decided to climb up the wooden step (it is about 10 inches high) to help itself to some of the seeds which are always falling from the bird-feeders above.

So it put it's forepaws up over the edge and they went straight into the belly-fur of Fluffy. Cat shot upright looking most indignant and Squirrel scarpered up a nearby tree. Fluffy is a cat of middle-age now but is an incredible hunter so it had a very lucky escape.

Mum saw all this from the kitchen window; Fluffy just sat there on her haunches looking very outraged.:rotfl:

All is quiet at Shoebox Towers. The neighbours who had us all up in the small hours, plus the Police down here, have been hiding behind drawn curtains ever since...........

I admit I was astonished that little April was playing out so late but didn't like to say anything in such ghastly circumstances. But most abuse is perpetrated by those known and trusted by the family.

A weird thing happened to Mum when she was a young SAHM in the 1960s when this bloke turned up out of the blue wanting to take Brother (2 years my junior) on holiday because he was from a "deprived" home.

Mum was livid that anyone would describe us as "deprived" as we were just tight for money, as were most working class people with young children and only the one wage. She sent him away with a flea in his ear. But it's always struck us as fishy as my family wouldn't have been on Social Services' radar and if Brother was "deprived" why wasn't I "deprived"? I have my suspicions that it was some kind of attempted abduction.

And we were in a one-horse village of very few houses where everyone knew everyone's business, too.

Re loosening the apron-strings, I was living 50 miles away from home at 16 and only coming home at the weekends and by 18 was 400 miles away from home and only coming home every 3 months. I was pretty streetwise (grew up on a rough estate surrounded by kids from the inner city) and made sure I never got too drunk to handle myself or that I went places where I couldn't get myself safely home. It worked out well for me.

I really feel for parents as it is such a hard one to call.

OK, off for some more Simon's Cat. Laters, GQ xx

katieowl_2

VJsmum wrote: »

I am in a position now where my kids are getting more independent (16 and 13) but DD (16) still isn't allowed to walk anywhere on her own in the dark.. We will shortly be in a situation where she will be walking back a mile, from the train station in the dark - albeit at 5 o'clock - and haven't yet decided what to do about that. I think it may be time to let that happen as she does have to get used to it.

It is easing out the rope a little at a time.

I think at 5pm there would be quite a lot of people about still, on their way home. But for me it would very much depend on what sort of roads it was down.

When we were in London, half the walk back from the school (the bit closest to the house) was terraced houses, with a main line station each end of the road, busy until about sevenish. The other end... by the school was park, allotments, and playing fields which gave way to massive houses set right back from the road, all comings and going by car, no one walking, and I never felt comfortable with the girls coming back from school late. It was fine when school emptied out on a dark winters eve, but I'm talking about after school activities and the such like.

It was a bit like the Marie Celeste there during the day too TBH, as that's where I used to walk the dog, and you'd hardly see another soul.

Course of self defence lessons, and some good street safety training in order I think, for all young people these days.

Kate

Molly41

katieowl wrote: »

That's the thing though isn't it??? How on EARTH can you protect your child from someone they know? Apart of course from always having them where you can see them, and being very careful about who has 'access' to your family. Scary stuff.

Kate

That is what I did with my children. I was abused by a member of my family and I tried really hard from a young age to make them aware and rarely let them stay away from home. I know that they wont have to live with the scars that I still have.

Im not blaming April's parents but they have a responsibility to keep their child safe and given the circumstances, her age and medical condition I am left wondering. Now I have been in a situation with DS2 as I lost him on a beach for 10 God awful minutes where every fear rushed through me. Luckily thanks to coastguards and life guards he was found very quickly.To this day we cannot ascertain what happened but it was still my responsibility to keep him safe and I failed him that day:(

Popperwell

shegar wrote: »

Popperwell, You will have to wait and see what happens, we really are all in the same boat..........You say you may end up in a home , how does that work?....

Maybe we have different worries, but at the end of the day its "money" that gets to us all........Because we cant do with out it.....
Can you not get a few hours a week working,?shelf filling at local shops,odd gardening job.........

Can you get a lodger if you have a spare bedroom?..Or perhaps if you have too many rooms, move to a smaller place.....

Have you got a mortgage?, sell up and release some equity, if you still cant do anything about your finances go speak to CAB and see what they come up with...........

Since my hubby as been too unwell to work ive got the lot on my shoulders and all the financial worries that go with it, Im his 24/7 carer and he needs it, yet ive had to take on part time cleaning job so that we can pay our way, yes its only a few hours per week but when we need extra heating etc someone as to pay for it............

My neighbour comes and sit with him for the few hours that I go to work, and in return I give them free supply of eggs from the hens and I always get her some flowers once a fortnight for helping me out........

Shergar,
I know I'm not alone that's why I like being here and sharing problems and also trying to support each other or see ways around the problems as often others like you suggest ideas I might not think of...sadly many of us have big troubles to deal with. What's that saying about a problem shared.

It's funny Monday I was fine, Tuesday was a bad day, Wednesday not too bad...but when I feel like this usually something strange happens...

Today it was a phone call asking to speak to my Mum(it was a cold call about bath and kitchen improvement)they were probably working off an old telephone book(as I am unlisted)then the crematorium phoned...

I'll say this once and drop it as it is sad and again others have had to/will face a similar situation...

I will finally have to make a decision about Mum's remains. I feel bad if I don't have some kind of memorial for Mum but if I do the place is difficult to get to and in one way whilst I know Mum is no longer in the world I feel sad that she is there all alone(That's Human response)because Mum isn't whether she is in a better place or there isn't another place we go.

Then again if I have some kind of plaque or have her name written in the book of rememberence they are going to charge anything from £300+ to £617 and yet I feel a heel if I just let Mum's ashes be buried with no kind of mention but that costs nothing. It's as if she was never here but we're all just passing through. It's getting to me trying to decide what to do for the best...for her and for me.

I think the worry about a care home hits us all at some point and if you have health problems more so and yet I know I could worry and it may never happen.

Sadly I did not manage to save or be in the situation say where the house I live was purchased, something always seemed to get in the way but it would have been so different.

You make some of your own luck and other times circumstances mean you work with the hand you have been dealt. No one said life was easy and who goes through live without problems. I guess you become stronger having to deal with them.

You count your blessings and it makes you more appreciative of what you have in life. I've never taken things for granted.

Smaller place perhaps are a consideration one day and I have not ruled that out(some think that I have)but there are few if any on the town. If I find one I will probably spend what I save the new Bedroom Tax by having to use buses and taxes to go anywhere. I do look each week to see what's available. I could not spend any less on food, utility bills etc...rents on smaller properties are not really any cheaper.

I think if I can do things properly so extra costs are covered but not charge so much a lodger will think it is better to stay in a hotel, the lodger idea seems the best way to go. That would still leave one unused room(unless they'd allow me to have two lodgers if that could work)

I understand if I reach the age of 61(but they may change things)the Bedroom Tax no longer affects people. It affects people up to that age.

So if I could do that I will have to try and not charge too much but not too little so I don't benefit, it will be tight but if things stayed as they are I probably could manage but I know it won't.

Apologies to oithers who have heard this before and will say "He's off again!" and be yawning...or getting annoyed at me...

It may all work out and then I have worried for nothing. People like yourself who have others to think of and come home to care forsome dear to you have the harder situation to deal with and really you never stop.

Now I only have myself to think about but I can emphesise because I have done it too 24/7.

I think it is easier to list those who are not struggling in some way than all those that are. Lets be honest most of us on the OS boards are in some way. Just like most of our parents and grandparents did.

Popperwell

craigywv wrote: »

Hi, just been reading POPPERWELL post i too have noticed such a dramatic price fluctuation in past few months 1 day mi wadi 2 for 1.50 next day its 99p following week its 75p a bottle what is going on also the tescos cheap curry in a jar was 20p on saturaday now its 27p wish we had Aldi over here:mad:

I wonder why they are dragging their feet , you'd think an ideal location would be where there isn't an Aldi.

You'd love Tesco's going by what they had today, some items I'd love to buy but refuse to pay the prices but so many good quality items are down an example some kind of Bird's Eye Chicken(new product)two cost £1.25 but next to it for £1.49 the same item with four inside. But that size is usually £3.

Having said that until the end of October Morrisons have the smaller box at £1 and they had reduced it from it's normal price.

Tesco's have reduced the breakfast biscuits by Kellogg's for a £1(normally £2.49)

I still this is being done as competition because Aldi's are coming. Some items will be on offer across all their branches but some may be due local trading.

I remember PAH or someone saying that she has been in a store of a certain SM in one area where they have restricted some items being sold but in another area the items are easily obtained.

GreyQueen

Molly41 wrote: »

That is what I did with my children. I was abused by a member of my family and I tried really hard from a young age to make them aware and rarely let them stay away from home. I know that they wont have to live with the scars that I still have.

Im not blaming April's parents but they have a responsibility to keep their child safe and given the circumstances, her age and medical condition I am left wondering. Now I have been in a situation with DS2 as I lost him on a beach for 10 God awful minutes where every fear rushed through me. Luckily thanks to coastguards and life guards he was found very quickly.To this day we cannot ascertain what happened but it was still my responsibility to keep him safe and I failed him that day:(

Mum lost my brother for a few minutes on a beach when he was about 5. Do you have any idea how many small boys in black trucks with light brown hair are to be found on a beach in England in the height of summer? She went absolutely spare and still looks a little ill to think about it (brother is in his mid-forties). She thought she'd found him at one point and grabbed a lad by the hand and then realised that the hand was too small and she'd got the wrong child..............!

He turned up safe and sound after a few minutes, thank goodness.

Pops, the currently rules on the bedroom tax are that the people who won't be affected are those who are of qualifying age for Pension Credit (regardless of whether they get it or not). On the current taper, that will mean you will have to be 61 years and 5 months on 01/04/2013 not to be affected. HTH.

OK, gonna treat myself to another episode of True Blood 3 which I have on loan from the library. No adverts, how fine is that?

craigywv

Popperwell wrote: »

I wonder why they are dragging their feet , you'd think an ideal location would be where there isn't an Aldi.

You'd love Tesco's going by what they had today, some items I'd love to buy but refuse to pay the prices but so many good quality items are down an example some kind of Bird's Eye Chicken(new product)two cost £1.25 but next to it for £1.49 the same item with four inside. But that size is usually £3.

Having said that until the end of October Morrisons have the smaller box at £1 and they had reduced it from it's normal price.

Tesco's have reduced the breakfast biscuits by Kellogg's for a £1(normally £2.49)

I still this is being done as competition because Aldi's are coming. Some items will be on offer across all their branches but some may be due local trading.

I remember PAH or someone saying that she has been in a store of a certain SM in one area where they have restricted some items being sold but in another area the items are easily obtained.

i was thinking maybe as Lidl are everywhere over here Aldi dont want the competion but in saying that tescoos and sains are side by side in most areas also so dont understand why no Aldi, Netto,Morrisons,or wilkinsons

Popperwell

Mum always mentions coming home during a blackout(I think after work)and I think back then she was working at a local shop in the town she lived and one night she knew that she was being followed and if she crossed over the street he would.

Somehow he got in front of her and she knew she would have to pass him. He got hold of her wrist and asked if she wanted a shilling! She got away and eventually home but could not speak.

Mum's(with the poker from the fireplace)Mum and Dad came out straight away to look for the person but naturally he'd dsappeared, I can't ask Mum what happened afterwards now but I assume no other person was harmed. Mum did mention how he was dressed but I have forgotten some of the detail. The only light was by the moon which I think was a full one.

I think I was followed once and a car was going slowly behind me but I turned down a kind of close near where I live and I knew that the car could not follow me and it had to go around a different route. I doubled back on my route and hid and sure enough the car went into the close from the only way it could access. And I wasn't there!

But again I never heard that anyone else was hurt in any way.

So I guess that I was quite streetwise.

Popperwell

craigywv wrote: »

i was thinking maybe as Lidl are everywhere over here Aldi dont want the competion but in saying that tescoos and sains are side by side in most areas also so dont understand why no Aldi, Netto,Morrisons,or wilkinsons

You'd love Wilkinsons...in a neighbouring town Aldi, Lidl, Sainsbury's, Tesco's are virtually side by side and they have a Morrisons, ASDA, Wilkinsons, B&M, Poundland in another part.

fuddle

I don't think it is just your Tesco pops. We've been in an extra tonight and found shelves of brands at knock down prices. I didn't buy anything as I never stray from my list but what it did was get me annoyed. If they can sell it at that price, why does it have to be double, even triple the price normally!

Letting the apron strings go is a very, very gradual process for me. Eldest DD said she knew about April as they had learned about it in assembly. She was told to never get in a car with a stranger. DH said never get in a car with anybody unless it's mam or dad.... no-one, not uncle this or so-and-so's dad. I was telling DH about my mam's uncle. Everyone loved him, he was the joker of the family. I am well endowed and had a large chest from being 12 years old. He used to brush up against my chest and I hated it. I never told a soul because he was a legend. He never ever did anything else but I hated that man with a passion for for daring to accidently on purpose rub him arm over me... hated him! That's the only thing I had to deal with as a youngster and that was bad enough. So sorry to read that some of us have had worse experiences.