make do and mend for tougher times

Popperwell

Nice trolley Mrs C. Larger and cheaper than mine...

Think I may put my PJ's on and my Dressing Gown Fuddle...I may have some hot chocolate too;)

Well, there's only me so I can slouch around...

Sunshine4

Fuddle, What is the name of the place shes going to.

Popperwell

Molly41 wrote: »

My DS earns 900 a month and pays 200 a month commuting fares. That on top of his rent and bills leaves him with a deficit of minus 28 pounds a month. I now buy his food for him as he simply could not afford to eat:(

And there's the problem Molly as you rightly point out. You do it because you love him and I am sure so many parents worry and help whatever age their children are...whilst trying to survive themselves...

Just said this on my blog...

On the wages most are being paid, many are looking for work, struggling to pay bills, getting hammered if you have to take help from the State, by seeing the amount reduced, withdrawn, refused by changes coming in, the Government have now come up with the following idea.

I'll just link to the story.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/lib-dem-conference-pensions-could-boost-home-ownership-says-nick-clegg-8166328.html

Many people are unsure that they will have a decent pension when they retire whether they have saved privately or not. No one knows what their savings will be like never mind a pension. Many continue to help their children(if they have family)all through their lives whatever their age, they always have...financially or in kind. It's an idea for now.

Another idea is being introduced this week. If you work you will be automatically enrolled into a scheme where a certain percentage will be taken from your wage each week and supposedly given back to you when you retire as part of your pension but if the wages are already low and you are having difficulty living on the wage you receive to see it reduced still further must be a worry. Perhaps it could mean that you will have to apply for help from the State to make up the income lost now.

How much more do they think the ordinary person in the street has?

Savings and property for a long time has had to go towards the care of those whose needs for care increases as their health deteriorates and care may be needed either in your home or you perhaps are put into a Nursing Home so spare cash to help your family is not guaranteed unless you try to diverse yourself of capital over the years because the days have gone where your assets were passed onto family at your demise. And as more people live longer this will happen even more and of course many have no families and are single so lots of money does go back to the State.

Most of us never stop caring for our loved ones...we woudn't have it any other way.

2tonsils

Savingqueen I can sympathise with you over your family, I had the same problems. In the end I could take no more, told a few home truths and shut them out of my life to prevent them making it difficult and stressful. It worked for me and I know now they definitely needed me more than I needed them. As for the MIL I had the same problem and had a huge row with my OH because he could not see her causing problems and interfering. In the end she did it once too often and he found out himself and he was shocked beyond belief. Now he supports me and listens when I say someone is interfering and controlling him. He has taken a step back and its much better for all concerned.

Had a good few days making do and mending. I bought four neck roll pillows cheap and covered them with nice soft cotton sheeting. Two are going on the bed and two on the sofa to support OH's back.

I bought a big joint of pork and roasted it slowly on Saturday, so it did the Sunday dinner last night after we came back from the beach, tea tonight with green salad and enough left over for two more meals so put the rest in the freezer. All for 8.50 euros. The same butcher (all local meat sold there) also sold me two kg of fresh chicken wings and thighs for 3.20. The thighs went into chicken noodle soup (home made) and the chicken wings were roasted and went into a picnic at the beach and a meal with potato fritters.

Got all my winter curtains out and shuffled them around from the windows they were at last winter. Now have thick thermal curtains in our bedroom (which are a bit too effective at blocking the light out..we have overslept twice with it being so dark lol) and the thick lace ones that were up are now over the two arches leading into our front room. I am trying to find a way to put the other two lace curtains up at the same time as the lined ones in the front room but can't figure out how to do it as the window surrounds are arched and the lined curtains are on poles with rings. I seem to have lost my curtain wires as well!!! I need to open and close the lined curtains but the lace ones can stay shut.

I found some new gluten free flour Saturday in the supermarket, produced in Greece as well. It was very reasonable compared to the imports here and made the nicest cup cakes I have ever made..one lot of banana and one of coffee flavour. They are now in the freezer in portions and I am going to get more of the flour. It was great!

Went power walking this morning and I saw all the following available for collecting......sloe berries, walnuts , and some lovely big ripe quinces! Will be taking a bag with me next time, they are all on rough land and will go to waste otherwise.

Stay safe in all that horrible weather folks, just seen it on our news and it looks really rough!

fuddle

M o ranbah (all one word) don't want it turning up on search engines

That trolley is a lovely little bargain!

My sis is in hospital, she has high BP nd protein in her water. She is susceptible to pre-eclampsia so hey're keeping an eye on her. She's due Oct 5th so I might get my nephew soon!

VJsmum

fuddle wrote: »

Be afraid of a boom my friend, be very afraid.

My friend in the village is away to Australia next week. They are emigrating. Her husband has got an unbelievably well paid job over there. Megabucks in comparison to what DH brings in. All the way through I have been such a support to her, never getting down with her and always being upbeat about the positives of the move. I've seen her over lunch time today. On parting she said "I know you'll never achieve what I have but I hope you get out of this village. I'll email you to show off my new house and my swimming pool and you can email me your erm, well what can you show off to me. Eeeeeh that was rude. Well I suppose it's true, hahaha." The anger I felt. The disgust. She's going out admidst a boom. She's going out with very little money. She's going out to fix her marriage, she's going out with children who are scared, she's going out leaving a house that will incur debt.

I don't want what she has. Why the heck do I get 'em. Why do I have to put up with just spiel and bile from other people. Money isn't everything. Money doesn't define you. I'm so angry and a bit hurt actually. I've been a good friend.

I know the swear filter will blip this out so I shall say it anyway - !!!! her!!! Rude cow. I think I might have thrown caution to the wind and said "well I can show off my stable marriage that has survived the worst of times, I can show off my two adorable, secure, unafraid and settled children and I can show off my happiness and satisfaction at where I have been and bounced back from" - grrr I am so cross for you :mad::mad::mad:

kidcat wrote: »

Fuddle - you can smile inside because you know that in two years when its all in tatters around her you can email her your smile.
Congrats on the job start as well by the way

Meant to say earlier VJsmum - if your DD is still struggling with school is there nothing that can be done? Having been seen the damage an unhappy experience can cause I just wonder if there is no other option for her. If at 16 she is crying about going back it sounds sort of serious, of course you know her and maybe she is being dramatic, but if there is any doubt its worth an investigation. Good luck, unhappy kids is one of the hardest things to deal with

Thank you. She is very dramatic - she doesn't want to be an actress for nothing.:cool: I have just picked her up and she is all smiles and had a good day. I asked what all the tears were about and she said she didn't really know! She is about to audition for the school production and it is big news - 500 auditionees for about 70 roles. I really really hope she gets something - even a tiny part. It would give her a reason to keep going and will enable her to make friends.

Popperwell wrote: »

Another idea is being introduced this week. If you work you will be automatically enrolled into a scheme where a certain percentage will be taken from your wage each week and supposedly given back to you when you retire as part of your pension but if the wages are already low and you are having difficulty living on the wage you receive to see it reduced still further must be a worry. Perhaps it could mean that you will have to apply for help from the State to make up the income lost now.

Strange, isn't it? i thought that was called National Insurance :cool:

I have bought my frock - twas a bargainous £24 from TKM, trouble is I now need new shoes, new bag and some hold it all in underwear

I am supposed to be cleaning the bathroom...

D&DD

Stiltwalker sorry missed your post this morning just catching up now,I second the carers centres brilliant places and if its any help there is usually a pastoral care team (fancy name for hospital social workers) in most hospitals now.

When dear FIL was ill they were fabulous as we're in the same boat as you with the kids and DS2 had just had an op.
They went above and beyond in the end with their help, sorting out carers etc. I was heartbroken we couldn't have him here but was made to see sense you can't afford to make yourself ill sweetie but I do understand how very hard it is when all you want to do is help.Hope MIL gets some support soon XX

edited to add

sorry to hear lifes a bit carp at the moment savingqueen I used to lock myself in the bath for an hour with a good book XX

Fuddle Yikes...friend???

VJ's mum glad she had a better day

kidcat

VJSmum - that is so good to hear, sending wishes she gets a part, it will mean she is involved in a relatively small group so friendships should follow quickly

Am ever so slightly annoyed, DD goes away tomorrow, we got the kit list on Friday last week, I spoke to them about her inhalers as they were not mentioned and they said they were taking the school one. All good I thought, have packed all afternoon, labelling, writing a list of everything etc then at 4.00pm I get a call from school saying the new policy is that she has to take another brand new inhaler just in case.

Well thats all well and good but my GP runs a 72 hr notice for prescriptions and whilst ordering a new one is on my list for this week anyway - I cannot just magic one out of thin air. I have had to call doctors and beg, and they clearly just think I am an unorganised mother who forgot - I mean who expects school to be so lacksidaisical about these things:mad::mad::mad:

DS still very ill, has been sick all day, finally thought we had broken it when he managed an hour without incident, he begged for toast had one bite and then we started all over again.

fuddle

The thing is my plans centre around getting DH and I a home of our own and mortgage paid off by the time we retire. I haven't thought about passing it down to the girls. Maybe I should? The girls will have to make their own lives. If we need to sell our house to pay for a roof over our head that is supported/carers attached then I think so be it. My mam's house will be sold to pay for any sheltered accommodation she might require. They worked, my dad died, the insurance paid the mortgage off, my mam has an asset, if my mam needs to go into care, her asset will be used to pay for her care. I don't really get why our state should pay for the care so I can inherit a healthy lump sum.

I do know my views are not in the majority though. People all around me think it's terrible that if you own your own home you have to sell it to pay for old age care when those who have nothing get it paid for. I don't understand their views and they don't tend to get where I come from.

kidcat

I am on the fence about this one fuddle, I suppose the opposite argument is that some people work hard all their lives and manage to buy a house outright when they need care it has to be sold to pay for care, whereas some people never work live in council property and never pay rent, if they need care its all paid for.

But if we paid for everyones care where would we be?

You see I really dont know, in our case we will probably do something similar to my aunt and uncle who have placed their house in trust for their disabled child in order that she will always have a home. Havent looked into it yet but if as appears likely the boys are not able to hold down jobs etc then we will do something similar here. DD17 has already said she would be happy to forego any inheritance to ensure the boys have a future.

Thankfully she has also said she would be willing to oversee their care - not necessarily taking on the caring role but making sure they are receiving the proper care they need.

Depressing thought though.

Its a horrible day today, the ladder for the trampoline is now up to the first rung deep in water. OH has called to say he has car trouble - my reaction was not particularly complimentary (having discovered this morning he had left lights on the big car and battery was flat) but I did try to point out that this is the reason I am "nagging" about the car.
He keeps getting things fixed temporarily and it costs so much more in long run and its normally me that pays for it - like last week when the faulty window opened and wouldnt close and it rained!!! It was me that got soaked dealing with it, me that had to deal with it and me that got moaned at because the cellotape to keep plastic cover over damaged the paint work.:mad::mad::mad:

So now apparently the handbrake wouldnt release on little car, so needs fixing - and the best thing is he has asked for tomorrow off and work have said no (dont blame them) so when it wont release in morning he will be disciplined for not turning in.