make do and mend for tougher times

Smoosh

I have a feeling this may turn into a bit of a vent, so apologies, just need to get some things out of my mind.

I feel like it's all my fault me and OH are struggling so much at the moment Last summer we moved and few hours away from our families and moved in together. And to everyone's surprise, even our own, we managed to set up a fairly stable home, we were both earning better money than we ever had before and things seemed to be ok. Then this year I started struggling with stress, anxiety and depression and realised a lot of that was down to my job. After being signed off for a few weeks, I decided to go to university - hopefully to make a better future for both of us. So, we had to move. I'm thankful that I get the biggest loan possible from student finance, but that just covers our rent, everything else has to come from OH's earnings. He managed to get offered 3 jobs when we moved down here, but now he's on minimum wage and only working 20 hours a week, which is certainly not enough to live off. He says he feels bad because he feels like he's not good enough, but I feel terrible because it's my fault we had to move and he put up with me when I was going through the depression.

Wow, sorry, gold star for whoever reads that. I need to stop moping and get over myself, I know it could be a lot worse.

Popperwell

Smoosh wrote: »

I have a feeling this may turn into a bit of a vent, so apologies, just need to get some things out of my mind.

I feel like it's all my fault me and OH are struggling so much at the moment Last summer we moved and few hours away from our families and moved in together. And to everyone's surprise, even our own, we managed to set up a fairly stable home, we were both earning better money than we ever had before and things seemed to be ok. Then this year I started struggling with stress, anxiety and depression and realised a lot of that was down to my job. After being signed off for a few weeks, I decided to go to university - hopefully to make a better future for both of us. So, we had to move. I'm thankful that I get the biggest loan possible from student finance, but that just covers our rent, everything else has to come from OH's earnings. He managed to get offered 3 jobs when we moved down here, but now he's on minimum wage and only working 20 hours a week, which is certainly not enough to live off. He says he feels bad because he feels like he's not good enough, but I feel terrible because it's my fault we had to move and he put up with me when I was going through the depression.

Wow, sorry, gold star for whoever reads that. I need to stop moping and get over myself, I know it could be a lot worse.

Know where you're coming from and so many on here are singing from the same hymn sheet. You tried/are trying to improve your lives and are still young enough(hopefully)to see the fruits of your labours but life gets in the way of plans.

Many here will tell you of their anxieties, depression etc...and then the problems a lack of money causes...don't get us started on who can/can't get/live on benefits and all the changes coming that will make it more difficult, people on low wages and trying to hang onto their jobs, as for the minimum wage it is just that and so many still have to have the wages topped up.

We're all trying to be thrifty and frugal and do what we can but some things are out of hands but we are in the same boat so rant away...

We're a broad church...singles, families, retired, young, older(ahem)in work, out of work, caring for someone, ill ourselves...just about anything you can think of.

Possession

You're in the right place to get through it Smoosh. DH was made redundant 2 yrs ago and our incomings are virtually a quarter of what they were when he was working - my part time salary is not enough, but we are managing better than I thought we would. That's in no small part down to this board. Have a look at the recipe index in the stickies at the top, it will give you ideas. Have a look also at the feed a family for £20 thread which has lots of good ideas and meal plans to be adapted to your circumstances.

[Deleted User]

Hi SMOOSH - welcome in, we're all slightly batty but harmless!!!!! Don't be too hard on yourself, life happens and you will find ways of coping whatever it throws your way. If you have questions, ask, if we can come up with answers to help (and most times we can have a good crack at it) we will. Or at least with suggestions to give you time to sort out the problem. We all know what you are going through, we've all been somewhere near ourselves so we understand. Chin up, we'll help if we can Cheers Lyn.

Smoosh

Thank you everyone for your kind words. Whilst I wish no one had to struggle through hard times, it is very comforting to know we are never alone. I know we will make it out the other side, and be better people for it.

I think I'm going to put some music on and clean the house, that usually stops me feeling down, or at least preoccupies my mind. Then I think I'll do some exercise before making dinner ready to get OH from work - trying to think of something nice (and free!) to do tonight to take his mind off the worries.

prepareathome

Yes GQ a maisonette, jeepers I hate it when that happens, its why I am relearning all the things like jam making as info has gone from brain.

Well soup has gone down well, had waited till hubby came home to ask what he wanted with the roast and mashed potatoes were requested so just steaming the potatoes. I have instant mash in and on lazy days do use it as covered in gravy its fine but today is a from scratch day. He has almost finished his soup and told its perfect.

Am serving broccoli with it but for me only unless I can hide it as hubby is like you Mar sees all green matter as evil so I have always had to be inventive to get it down him, stews and casseroles are much better at hiding them than a roast with mash. Rest has been blanched and now in dehydrator so can be crushed and sprinkled into gravies without him knowing.

Will put in some carrots and onions as well.

Hugs and Love to allxxx

Mrs_Chip

Smoosh wrote: »

Thank you everyone for your kind words. Whilst I wish no one had to struggle through hard times, it is very comforting to know we are never alone. I know we will make it out the other side, and be better people for it.

I think I'm going to put some music on and clean the house, that usually stops me feeling down, or at least preoccupies my mind. Then I think I'll do some exercise before making dinner ready to get OH from work - trying to think of something nice (and free!) to do tonight to take his mind off the worries.

SMOOCH ! :rotfl: I'll leave it to your imagination !

Smoosh

Mrs_Chip wrote: »

SMOOCH ! :rotfl: I'll leave it to your imagination !

:rotfl: that wasn't quite what I was going for :rotfl: although I'm sure it would work all the same :rotfl:

Mrs_Chip

Was just a thought

PAH would fussy OH eat something like this??

And I had a meal once at a b&B that was chicken breasts with carrot batons and broccoli florettes in a similar white sauce, baked in the oven - sounds weird but was delicious. I think the chicken was cooked first, as was veg, put together and smothered then baked. Very comforting.

Smoosh

Mrs_Chip wrote: »

Was just a thought

PAH would fussy OH eat something like this??

And I had a meal once at a b&B that was chicken breasts with carrot batons and broccoli florettes in a similar white sauce, baked in the oven - sounds weird but was delicious. I think the chicken was cooked first, as was veg, put together and smothered then baked. Very comforting.

Well it put a smile on my face!

Mmm, that recipe looks delicious.