make do and mend for tougher times

Cheapskate

Morning everyone

It was cold here last night! Littlies asked to keep their socks on in bed - it's still August for heaven's sake! :rotfl: However, it's beautifully sunny now, so happy for now.

What a lot of chat over the last day or so! Sunshine - I agree with everyone else, what a rude woman, family or not. She should have sounded out people before pre-booking rooms, rather than assuming they'd want to/be able to afford to stay. When DH's niece married a few years ago, it was a massive, expensive affair, you know the sort I mean. Our eldest DS had no money for buying new clothes, buying drinks at the venue, etc., so told her (very nicely, I might add) that he couldn't come to the do, but would attend church to witness their actual marriage - her response was that if he wasn't coming to the do then not to bother at all! :eek: :mad: Even her mum was angry with her. It was all about appearances, of course, she wanted folk to see how many guests she had. DD took his part and refused her invitation, too, but we went cos it was DH's niece, although I refused to spend much on new clothes. 4 years on she's still paying it off of course, daft girl! :rotfl:

1 Sept tomorrow, and as I may end up leaving this new job soon I'm using the date as a start to rein in the budget again, got plenty in the freezer and cupboards, just need some fresh veg, bread, etc., this week. Off to work soon, may start a new spreadsheet during my lunch break ready for the off tomorrow!

A xo

Possession

Sorry you had a hard time Fuddle. Don't let it take away from the joy of getting the job though.
It's DH's grandparents' 71st wedding anniversary tomorrow. Not many people can say that eh? Ironically, though they are about the least OS people I know!

mardatha

My mum was like that Possession - I think now she had such a hard life when she was young that she maybe swore she would never go back to it because of bad memories.

Popperwell

Apologies all I'm going again.

A lot of what I said has been misunderstood on here and I have taken what you say on board. I won't mention anything I do.

I will make a decision or it will be made for me about the future and where I end up.

I will use Mum's money wisely. Anything I have too...

And I have not purchased as much as some you believe I have. A lot of items were purchased when Mum was alive but were not used and what I have purchased after losing Mum has taken 3 months + to aquire and are not expensive goods but were mostly reduced or on offer and will have to last years.

Most of the clothes were purchased at charity shops for 99p and all I have was bullt up over time as was my food store which is done(most of that was shop brand/value for money)

To me that is very OS but some of you see me doing something wrong and think I have been spending something that I should not.

I don't want to disrupt the thread or risk it being closed/annoy.

So to those running MSE let the thread stand and let posters continue to talk as they always have...

I tend to agree with what Mardatha has said recently and if we don't try and stop turning on each other things will turn nasty...still could...

Wishing you all well...(Don't know what you said Fuddle regarding snapping or at your blog)but don't let it get to you...

It can happen on blogs...and this again shows how some misunderstand or judge others wrongly as I think you have/are doing brilliantly...and if the comments were made anonymously that proves the point. Some want to be nasty just for the sake of it. But every should have the right to an opinion/view as long as it hopefully is done with respect even if it is opposite to someone else.

I am not trying to avoid spending what I have on what it should be nor take anything I am not entitled to. I have checked along the way that I do everything as I should and got advice a long the way.

GreyQueen

Sunshine4 wrote: »

Stiltwalker Your wedding sounds lovely, hope you have a wonderful day.

Congratulations

kidcat wrote: »

I remember the pictures you posted at the time - they were beautiful.

My wedding was ten years ago, we have over 100 guests and many had a role, one used his car as the wedding car, another made one of the cakes, two were photographers and so on.
It cost very little and we just had one reception, timing the wedding for an evening. It was lovely and it didnt cost anyone a fortune, it was held locally and anyone who lived far away was offered accomodation with various family nearby.

In hearty agreement with both of the above, they sound lovely. I know several people where the weddings have been collective affairs in that the guests were dear friends and their presents were help towards the wedding, each according to their ability and aptitudes. Such as someone with a large and lovely garden allowing it to be used for a reception, keen gardeners growing flowers for bouquets, cake makers making cakes. All these things have some financial costs as well as investments of time and effort, but it was a lot more soulful that getting given a shopping list and effectively told to buy something on it as the price of your admission to the wedding.

I have to admit to having been financially-embarrassed in the past by invitations which had express dress-codes such as "cocktail dress" which is something my wardrobe lacked. OK, I managed to cobble together an outfit at the c.s. but it took several weeks and many visits to get it together, the shoes I had to buy new as I take a size 9 and you rearely see those in c.s. in any style. All in all, I really wish I'd had the courage to decline the invite, not because the person concerned is anything less than lovely, but because it caused me such stress and expense that it became a chore.

:mad: And the blasted shoes hurt my feet.............

Yesterday was decidedly autumnal here with prolonged rain and strong gusty winds. On the way home from work I had to close my folding umbrella at times despite the rain as the wind was threatening to turn it inside out. Really feel we've crossed the line between the seasons. Nights drawing in and getting a nip in the air even here in the south.

There are other signs and portents; the pickling onions have started to appear on the market. Mum has got her first net and has offered to put up a jar or two for me, which I'm very grateful for.

Today's cunning plan involves going the t'office and then, if it isn't actually raining (omens not looking good on that, frankly, thunder is growling outside right now) head to the lottie to dump out the compost caddy and maybe do a little.

Allotment has that late-summer-gone-over look to it and it's sort of a case of not knowing where to start as it all needs attention. I'll get there little by little as the growth will slow down as we get into autumn but I'd love to have one of those model allotments like some of the retired gents up there have..... well, it's not seemly to covet thy neighbour's allotment, is it?:rotfl:

Sunshine4

Its a shame you had to close your blog Fuddle.
I was enjoying reading it.I got a lovely recipe off it for the favoured water and also gave my nextdoor neighbour your recipe for the playdoh she was thrilled as it was costing her a forture buying.
I think you are doing a wonderful job with your family, and I enjoy reading about all the things you been learning and making.

Thank you everyone for your comments, it just really through me when she started shouting.
Have decided not to attend wedding but will send card and a gift.
I am a very quite person and normally I would have given in case I affended anyone but not this timeI am actually standing up for myself my OH thinks its great.

So Thank you:T:T

kidcat

mardatha wrote: »

My mum was like that Possession - I think now she had such a hard life when she was young that she maybe swore she would never go back to it because of bad memories.

I think my grandad was like that Mar, he would spend a pound when a penny would do, but had lived with such hardship at a young age he would not go back.

Thanks for all the advice on clothes, like many as a governor I am shocked at the outfits candidates turn up in for a professional role as a teacher. I always feel that the interview outfit should reflect how you will dress for the job itself. So for a professional role it would be a suit definitely. My problem is of course that this is an entirely new role, and new to me too, a suit would be way too formal (besides I dont have one) so am thinking of wearing my black trousers (bought for funerals) and a top - its the top where I get into difficulty as my tops all fall into casual rather than smart.

Am going to play it safe and head into town after dropping DD off and look for a suitable top just to be sure. One things for certain if I get this job I will need a serious wardrobe overhaul.

Have received a message today from the person running the "support group" which is incredibly nasty. She used a pic which included my son and gave it to the council who in turn used it in their advertising. I wrote a carefully worded email that asked her not to use any pics in future. She responded with oh that would be a shame its a good pic! I also contacted council and asked for it to be removed as I had not given permission.
She is now upset that her "credibility" has been damaged and after all she has done for me and mine! I have no idea how to respond - I have always kept it very calm, gentle and never been confrontational.

meme30

kidcat wrote: »

I think my grandad was like that Mar, he would spend a pound when a penny would do, but had lived with such hardship at a young age he would not go back.

Thanks for all the advice on clothes, like many as a governor I am shocked at the outfits candidates turn up in for a professional role as a teacher. I always feel that the interview outfit should reflect how you will dress for the job itself. So for a professional role it would be a suit definitely. My problem is of course that this is an entirely new role, and new to me too, a suit would be way too formal (besides I dont have one) so am thinking of wearing my black trousers (bought for funerals) and a top - its the top where I get into difficulty as my tops all fall into casual rather than smart.

Am going to play it safe and head into town after dropping DD off and look for a suitable top just to be sure. One things for certain if I get this job I will need a serious wardrobe overhaul.

Have received a message today from the person running the "support group" which is incredibly nasty. She used a pic which included my son and gave it to the council who in turn used it in their advertising. I wrote a carefully worded email that asked her not to use any pics in future. She responded with oh that would be a shame its a good pic! I also contacted council and asked for it to be removed as I had not given permission.
She is now upset that her "credibility" has been damaged and after all she has done for me and mine! I have no idea how to respond - I have always kept it very calm, gentle and never been confrontational.

Blimey Kitcat I think you have been very restrained I would have been hopping mad and swearing a lot!:mad: Blasted woman! :mad:

GreyQueen

Kidkat, if I were dressing for that interview I would wear the plain formal trousers and add a tailored blouse, crisply ironed, probably in a plain fabric rather than a floral. I get all mine from the c.s. anyway as this is what I wear to my "smart-casual" office job.

I wonder if I'm turning into a fuddyduddy at less than 50 but I do find it surprising and shocking what some professional people wear to go about their business. What people do on their own time is their own affair but I think that certain jobs, and all interviews, demand a certain standard as a mark of respect to the organisation, the interviewer and the clients.

Right, must get myself smartly off to t'office. Hope everyone has a good day and that any interviews or appointments go well. Laters GQ x

Possession

Really I think this woman is a bit disturbed Kidcat. She should be aware in any case that you need permission to publish photos of children. I might be tempted to forward such an email to the person in charge of funding her 'support' group to show just the kind of 'support' she is offering.
I'm not sure if DH's grandparents had all that a hard life. I know that DH's mum was practically brought up by her grandmother but I get the impression that was more because they couldn't really cope with a child than because they were working 18 hours a day. I know in my family history there has been incredible hardship because my uncle researched our history and self-published a book on it, but for DH's grandparents I think they just like a comfortable life. And if you can afford it why not, who would want to be struggling at past 90 years old?